I'm Not Where I Want To Be Yet

I just had an epiphany and literally opened up my app to write. I was watching a YouTube video by one of the many inspirational people I follow and it just hit me. I've been very frustrated lately about not being where I want to be in life. It's the curse of turning 30. You analyze and criticize your choices and your place in life like CRAZY. I've been meditating and praying about it and I swear my prayers were answered in the form of this video by Angela Rockwood.

https://youtu.be/YgIfm-e_oYQ

If you're not where you want to be yet...that's GOOD. The day you have everything you want is the day you stop living and cease dreaming. You should never be fully satisfied. You should be content and grateful and even happy, yes. But you should ALWAYS be striving and dreaming big and pushing yourself to the next level. 

We limit ourselves so much by our contentment and our limitations. We place them on ourselves. No one can place a limitation on you, not even society, unless you take it from them and accept it as your own. I find that the more I desire, the more I grow past my current circumstances. 

I'm a control freak. I have an order in my head of how I want things to go because I feel inadequate in some areas. But I realize, now, that in the back of my mind I'm giving off the vibration of the LAST words I ever want to say: "I can't (until)...". If you know me at all, I try to never say the phrase "I can't." However, saying that I'm going to or want to do this before gives off the vibration and impression that I'm not going to do the other thing because I can't since the first thing hasn't happened yet. Does that make sense? It did in my head. 

Point being, I've decided to stop giving the Universe and God a time table. He laughs at our plans anyway. This is a big lesson for me on surrender. I have to let go and let God and spirit guide me. I've decided to go with the flow...at least a little more often.