Immediately, this posed a follow up question in my mind that I did not ask. The question was, "which way are you digging?" You have a few choices in any situation. You can dig your own hole, you can dig a deeper hole or dig your way out of a situation or even a feeling. But the only way out is through.
Often times the very thing you're using to cope is actually digging you deeper into your problem or bad feelings. It's numbing you and you won't even realize it until you recognize that you aren't reacting at all to the shit going on around you. You act indifferent and, because you aren't sobbing or losing your mind, you may think you're doing okay. But you still aren't dealing with the problem. The feeling creates more problems and you end up feeling like you can't turn to anyone.
To dig your way out of a problem takes action outside of your own head. Yes, inner work is a big part of it too, but you need to really take a good look at your life and change SOMETHING. Otherwise everything will stay the same, sometimes things will worsen and dig you deeper. Changing one small thing can, will and should create a domino effect. It sounds simple and obvious, maybe even too good to be true, but it is true.
You also cannot dig someone else out of their own shit. You can listen and be a helping hand when they ask, but you can't do it for them. Even if you could, that would be taking on their journey for them and they wouldn't learn all of the life lessons they signed up to learn. That can be a hard thing to come to terms with, especially when it's someone you love. All you can do is live your own life the best way you can and hope it inspires them to do the same.
I discuss more about change in my previous blog:
http://marissameleske.blogspot.com/2017/01/my-2017-new-years-resolution.html?m=1
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