I'm writing this blog shortly after finding out that Steven Tyler has teamed up with Caitlyn Jenner to sing a duet of "Dude Looks Like A Lady." Of course, there are different emotions being expressed by many different people over this issue. So I thought I'd tell you mine.
I relate to Caitlyn in many ways, so I sympathize with her too. I get flack all the time because people assume since I'm in a wheelchair I must think a certain way, I must take everything about it so seriously and I must stand up and fight for every person in a wheelchair. That is A LOT of pressure to put on someone. I just choose to live, try to be as independent as possible and go after my goals and dreams. I'm not gonna change who I am to appease anyone or pander to anyone. People need to loosen up, especially those who claim they are all about letting people be who they are. I guess it's only when it fits their narrative.
Anyone who questions my feelings, there's always an underlying reason of it being because they're shocked I feel the way I do since I'm in a wheelchair. That's just the way it is and I've accepted it. Because no one will understand if they aren't experiencing it. I don't consider myself part of a community because I appreciate every person having their own identity, hopes, dreams etc. I find that people "in the disabled community" are all at different levels so there isn't really a collective like there is in the LGBTQ community. Many are just going along with life, not part of a movement. If people make fun of me or someone in a wheelchair, I have enough confidence in myself to move on with life and be unbothered and I also know that I'm not in anyone else's brain so I can't just step up to a mic and advocate for that person who IS offended. They're going to be offended regardless of what I say and they need to do work within themselves to not be. I can't do it for them. Nor can I change the people who ARE doing and saying things to be malicious. They're even harder to change. It's just up to the individual to work on themselves to the point where those people become meaningless and don't affect anyone's view of themselves.
I relate to Caitlyn in many ways, so I sympathize with her too. I get flack all the time because people assume since I'm in a wheelchair I must think a certain way, I must take everything about it so seriously and I must stand up and fight for every person in a wheelchair. That is A LOT of pressure to put on someone. I just choose to live, try to be as independent as possible and go after my goals and dreams. I'm not gonna change who I am to appease anyone or pander to anyone. People need to loosen up, especially those who claim they are all about letting people be who they are. I guess it's only when it fits their narrative.
Anyone who questions my feelings, there's always an underlying reason of it being because they're shocked I feel the way I do since I'm in a wheelchair. That's just the way it is and I've accepted it. Because no one will understand if they aren't experiencing it. I don't consider myself part of a community because I appreciate every person having their own identity, hopes, dreams etc. I find that people "in the disabled community" are all at different levels so there isn't really a collective like there is in the LGBTQ community. Many are just going along with life, not part of a movement. If people make fun of me or someone in a wheelchair, I have enough confidence in myself to move on with life and be unbothered and I also know that I'm not in anyone else's brain so I can't just step up to a mic and advocate for that person who IS offended. They're going to be offended regardless of what I say and they need to do work within themselves to not be. I can't do it for them. Nor can I change the people who ARE doing and saying things to be malicious. They're even harder to change. It's just up to the individual to work on themselves to the point where those people become meaningless and don't affect anyone's view of themselves.
I think that if Caitlyn wants to do something fun, she should. She can't spend her entire rest of her new life afraid to do or say something "wrong", especially in a free country! Yes, she's an advocate but she is also her own individual person and people are putting so much pressure on her and forgetting that. She is not Jesus, she is not expected to save the world! She spent too many years hiding from who she really is out of fear, why should she be afraid to express herself NOW?
I choose to have a sense of humor about life. I always make jokes when someone stubs their toe like "thank God I wouldn't have felt that" or "I bet that hurt, thank God I don't know what that's like!" I even make fun of myself when I do bang an area I can't feel. I get responses from people who are mortified on my behalf that I've said anything like that. They automatically assume I'm talking down about myself and that deep down inside I must be depressed and projecting...
Uh no, I really am just funny and sometimes downright mean. I'm from NY, what do you expect? People need to just mind their own business, live and let live and get over it! I understand wanting to feel like you are part of a collective and not alone in something that is probably scary for many, but society has to let people be an individual too. That's getting lost in all this. This policing of people's minds is downright exhausting and much more of a dictatorship than the people doing it even realize.
Uh no, I really am just funny and sometimes downright mean. I'm from NY, what do you expect? People need to just mind their own business, live and let live and get over it! I understand wanting to feel like you are part of a collective and not alone in something that is probably scary for many, but society has to let people be an individual too. That's getting lost in all this. This policing of people's minds is downright exhausting and much more of a dictatorship than the people doing it even realize.
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