Paulie Calafiore Doesn't Owe You Anything!

I should stop saying I'm done writing blogs until the finale of Big Brother 18, because trolls continue to spout off at the mouth (or cellphone/computer) and piss me off. But instead of spouting off back at them, I try to limit my retaliation to tweets and blogs of support for my favorite player, Paulie Calafiore. Haters aren't worth my time, but supporting him is.

I saw a tweet from someone that said Paulie owes her an apology "for how he talked about women." REALLY? Last I checked, she doesn't speak for all women either. If you think about it, being so insulted by him is actually giving Paulie more power than I'd anticipate a hater would want to give him, if you think he offended all women or that his opinion is going to matter to all women. It's not that serious, people need to calm down.

Everyone needs to remember something. Celebrities, which is essentially what Paulie has become, are also human beings. They don't owe us anything other than what we pay them for. In his case, you're not even paying because CBS comes free and if you're paying for the live feeds, you're paying for 15 other people besides him if you want to get petty and specific. If you don't like what he or any other houseguests have to say then just change the channel, stop watching the feeds or stop following accounts on social media that support the person you don't like.

Celebrities shouldn't have to forfeit their basic human right to freedom of speech because it hurts someone's feelings and they don't like it. Will Paulie regret some of the things that happened and were said this summer? I'm sure he will. But it is my prayer that the other houseguests fans will realize that they and their favorite have said and done the same, and in some cases MUCH worse. If you're going to call out one person, call out everyone.

Here's the thing though, we all make mistakes. Why waste our time on earth pointing out people's shortcomings and flaws (which are only a matter of outsider, irrelevant opinion anyway)? There is plenty that Paulie has done right in the house, let alone in real life when he's being 100% himself. He's the only one who played a watch worthy game and if you take time to research him you will realize there's plenty to look forward to and support when you finally see him as a human being working toward dreams and aspirations just like everyone else.

Putting someone beneath you or above you is dangerous and unfair to any person. Everyone is entitled to an opinion but tweeting him or his family, acting as if you are owed an apology or like your opinion is going to matter is laughable. I worry about your own self worth if an opinion of someone you don't know will insult you so bad. There are plenty of other accounts to follow. Please, do me a favor and unfollow and/or block me so that I don't have to waste anymore of my time doing it. I'm just a fan and it's annoying enough!

The Storylines & Mis-characterizations on Big Brother + A New Twist!

Ya know, I'm fine with explaining to Big Brother fans that there is often a disconnect between live feeds and live shows, which I've blogged about. I'm even okay with having my favorite house guest painted into a story line to fit a narrative that furthers their game and popularity of it's in a positive and/or powerful way. That's selfish, but true. This season, the shoe quickly went on the other foot though and I'm having a hard time figuring out how CBS is allowing this to the personal extent that they are.

Paulie Calafiore went from King of the Castle to public enemy number one. He was never even king of the castle (nor did he even have a relationship with Zakiyah) if you only watched the live show. But oh he was! He had a part in 8 evictions, but then out of nowhere his closest ally and in house girlfriend was evicted and he followed the next week. In the midst of all this, the show TRIED to paint him as an asshole with highly edited clips. I've already written a blog about this, but the statement bares repeating...if there are unedited live feeds, how does CBS think we won't notice this? We aren't stupid. People who don't watch are judging him and attacking him and he didn't even do anything half as drastic as they're saying. I'm calm as a cucumber when it comes to him because you could tell, if you bothered to pay any attention, when he was in game mode.

Natalie ADMITTING to use flirting to luring guys in and turning around using it as sexual harassment accusations as a strategy in the house is absolutely disgusting and completely out of line. It is NOT a game tactic and not something to be taken as lightly as she apparently takes it. It also shows her as a shallow, self centered, one demential person if she couldn't come up with any other strategy, one that wouldn't make HER look so terrible in the end.

Flirting and using it as your sole strategy is okay. Not exactly something above bimbo status or anything remarkable that shows you know how to play Big Brother, but nothing overly terrible. Claiming harassment is a whole other issue altogether and I have a hard time believing that there isn't a reason Natalie is getting away with throwing these accusations out there. Who the hell does she know that's letting this slide and still making her look like the victim on TV? She'd better hope she keeps in touch with whomever it is, because people are not going to like her once she's back in the real world. Those kinds of accusations aren't something you just toss out there and make up because people ACTUALLY go through them in real life and don't just bounce back. She has done so and seems to find a thrill in it which is absolutely disgusting and it potentially can ruin the future of the many people she's now accusing, even if just under the public presumption that they're guilty. 

I don't know why I'm still so sucked in and passionate about this. Oh wait, because these people still have Paulie's name in their mouths after he was evicted. Same goes for Zakiyah. If you follow me on Twitter (MarissaMeleske) you saw my new idea for a twist last night. Any time the Big Brother house guests complain about an evicted houseguest, the evicted houseguest should get paid. That will QUICKLY make CBS take action and make it stop or they will go bankrupt and an evicted houseguest that's been out for weeks before the finale will have potentially earned $500k.

Ya know, summer was always my favorite season. My father and brother always enjoyed it with me. After my dad passed away in July 2009 and my brother in August 2015, Big Brother really became the highlight of the summer for me. It still was because of Paulie this season, but I'm noticing more and more sketchy things about the show that frustrate the hell out of me! But hey, you know me, always looking on the bright side...I'm going to go reread my own blog about Paulie's bright future after Big Brother 18! Here it is: 

http://marissameleske.blogspot.com/2016/08/goodbye-bb18-hello-paulies-bright-future.html?m=1

Goodbye BB18, Hello Paulie's Bright Future

After tonight's episode, I honestly wasn't expecting to write another blog about Big Brother this season, and especially not so soon. I will be posting this the morning after Victor won the Jury Battle Back, but I'm writing it the night of. I honestly thought I'd have to take some time to lick my wounds and de-bruise my ego as a Paulie fan, but I have a lot to say and my positivity has won out already.

We all watch Big Brother for different reasons and we all want different types of players to win. Let's all just agree that for 8 weeks, Paulie ran the Big Brother 18 house! Whether you preferred another houseguests' game play is a different topic altogether, which I've already blogged about. The producers knew Paulie was running the house as the strongest player even from jury, because they continued to show him a lot more than other evictees after he left. I'm sure they still will, or the other houseguests will keep his name in their mouths to keep people tuned in (won't work for me)...mark my words! Julie Chen even admitted that his arrival at jury was the most anticipated (and most highly produced *cough*) ever.

I'm a proud Paulie Calafiore fan and I truly mean that from the bottom of my heart. I think it must have been a Scorpio "type thing" that made me immediately connect with him on the show...well that and I'm also a huge fan of his brother, Cody, so I had zeroed in on Paulie from the second the premiere started. He is probably my favorite houseguest ever on the show, even though Cody Calafiore and Derrick Levasseur, aka "The Hitmen", aren't too far behind.

I could tell when Paulie was in game mode and when he wasn't. With social media being as popular as it is nowadays, I was able to connect with many other Paulie and "Zaulie" fans and after I was sent live feed clips, I would be the first to tell everyone to "chill out and let the master work" when they thought he was being mean. Sometimes I knew just by reading what was going on and when it finally came out he was gaming, people would ask how the hell I knew he was lying. I've always been one to easily read people I've never even met, but maybe Paulie just wears his emotions on his sleeve and I'm giving myself too much credit. I don't really know, but whatever the case may be, I knew what we were seeing was sometimes cut throat but always epic game play and that he was a real, genuine, great guy at heart. I truly believe that to this day. Even the dreaded veto that sent Zakiyah to the jury house, I completely understand why he didn't use it on her; he thought she was safe and thought he'd throw a bone to the ones who wanted her out by not taking her down (thinking she was safe though.)

To Paul & Linda Calafiore: Thank you for sharing both of your sons with the world. Thank you for being kind and patient with the Twitterverse and allowing us to connect with you, freak out with you when Paulie was on the block and celebrate with you when he was HOH, won the Power of Veto or when someone he wanted evicted was shown the door. I'm sorry that there are people in this world with nothing better to do than to criticize people they don't even know and attack their families. Please, rest assured, that there are people who see Paulie as the great man you raised him to be and, I for one, hope to cross paths with all of you in the near future and give you big hugs! I'm sure I will because I can't wait to support Paulie in his future endeavors and also to see Cody's movie "What Happened Last Night" on November 2nd (3 days before my big 3-0!).

To Paulie: (Damn it, the Scorpio in me is NOT happy that I'm getting choked up right now!) You got a raw deal! I sincerely hope that, despite the way it ended, you had an incredible experience in the Big Brother house. You worked your butt off week after week! I was even saying "Ok, who is Paulie kicking out of his summer home this week?" for 8 weeks! You played an incredible game that was entertaining to watch, at times broke my heart for you when you got emotional or were ganged up on (unfairly, in excess and to the extreme) and I know in my heart that you will take with you memories, experiences, friendships and relationships that will last a lifetime. I hope there's room in your life for lifelong fans, because I'm honored to be one and I know I'm not alone! I'm impatiently waiting and hoping for a big homecoming party with family, friends and fans after the finale! I love you & if you ever need back up protection from the haters, my wheelchair loves running people over. No, really, I don't do it myself...it has a mind of its own! 😂 Nah, I will always combat their hate by spreading love for you & promoting you in any way I can! Thank you for encompassing what Big Brother is all about and I hope you're the next returnee in a future season!

~~~


Here are my other blogs about Paulie & Big Brother:


Reality TV vs Real Life: Big Brother & Paulie Calafiore


http://marissameleske.blogspot.com/2016/07/reality-tv-vs-real-life-big-brother.html?m=1


Where is Paulie Calafiore's Head?


http://marissameleske.blogspot.com/2016/08/where-is-paulie-calafiores-head.html?m=1


Reality TV & Social Media: Too Close For Comfort (BB Edition)


http://marissameleske.blogspot.com/2016/08/reality-tv-social-media-too-close-for.html?m=1


What Does Someone (Paulie Calafiore) Have To Do For Me To Hate  Them (Him)?


http://marissameleske.blogspot.com/2016/08/what-does-someone-paulie-calafiore-have.html?m=1


Don't Give Up On Paulie Calafiore!


http://marissameleske.blogspot.com/2016/08/dont-give-up-on-paulie-calafiore-zaulie.html?m=1


Big Brother: Live Feeds vs. Live Show


http://marissameleske.blogspot.com/2016/08/big-brother-live-feeds-vs-live-show.html?m=1


I Am A Jinx To Reality Television

http://marissameleske.blogspot.com/2016/08/i-am-jinx-to-reality-television_19.html?m=1


The Rules of Big Brother Break the Rules of Life


http://marissameleske.blogspot.com/2016/08/the-rules-of-big-brother-break-rules-of.html?m=1


Paulie Calafiore is Doing Something Right!


http://marissameleske.blogspot.com/2016/08/paulie-calafiore-is-doing-something.html?m=1


Social Media Double Standard: BB18 Paulie vs. Natalie Fans


http://marissameleske.blogspot.com/2016/08/social-media-hate-bb18-paulie-vs.html?m=1

Storylines and Mis-characterization on Big Brother

http://marissameleske.blogspot.com/2016/08/the-storylines-mis-characterizations-on.html

Paulie Calafiore Doesn't Owe You Anything

http://marissameleske.blogspot.com/2016/08/paulie-doesnt-owe-you-anything.html

Nobody Speaks for Everyone. Why Are You So Offended?

http://marissameleske.blogspot.com/2016/09/nobody-speaks-for-everyone-why-are-you.html

Why Paulie Calafiore Earned My Vote for AFP

http://marissameleske.blogspot.com/2016/09/why-paulie-earned-my-vote-for-americas.html

Team Paulie vs The World

http://marissameleske.blogspot.com/2016/09/team-paulie-vs-world-nevercared.html

Paulie Calafiore's Worst Game Move (humor)

http://marissameleske.blogspot.com/2016/09/paulie-calafiores-worst-game-move-of.html

Nothing But Love For Zaulie

http://marissameleske.blogspot.com/2016/09/nothing-but-love-for-zaulie.html

Social Media Double Standard: BB18 Paulie vs. Natalie Fans

I was going to come right out and confront this issue before anyone could ask me sarcastically but someone already did. It's about the apparent double standard between Paulie Calafiore and Natalie Negrotti of Big Brother 18. I noticed many Natalie fans are seeing the light on her, but the jist of the question I got was:

'Why is what Paulie said and did okay with you and what Natalie is doing and saying is not okay?'

The simple answer is; Paulie was playing Big Brother, Natalie was being personal and ignorant.

A lot of people with hurt feelings will disagree with me, but hear me out. First of all, Paulie and Zakiyah both talked about talking crap about each other in order to create distance from each other in the eyes of the other houseguests. People may argue that Paulie went too far, but I saw the conversation about this and Zakiyah made the agreement with him. Plus, they both said "I'll tell you next time the feeds are down" a lot! So who the hell are we to judge what we don't see all of? Again, Zakiyah is not a weak woman! Many women who have had bad previous relationships come out stronger. I believe if she felt Paulie was out of line about anything, she would have spoken up!

Now for Natalie. She is making me wonder if season 15 wasn't as bad with the racism and ignorance. I mean, she insults everyone, even her supposed Big Brother boyfriend James (even though she flirts with everyone else and then accuses them of mistreating her *cough* Paulie.) She actually told James that she thought he'd like her chips because they were Asian! Right. To. His. Face! But then he hugged her, so I guess she's doing what she knows she can get away with. She never had anything nice and genuine to say about Zakiyah and she'd flirt with Paulie (and all of the guys) then turn around and claim sexual harassment, meanwhile they didn't even really give her a second glance! Her personal attacks and the apparent malicious intent behind them is ridiculous. She's insecure and masks it as being full of herself, all while blaming others. Like they say in "Mean Girls", she thinks everyone is in love with her, but everybody hates her. She puts on such an innocent and fake persona, while at least with Paulie you knew if you were on his shit list and it was for the game.

You are the company you keep. All of Paulie's family and friends have been incredible on social media. Natalie's friends, meanwhile, have done nothing but talk crap and spread lies about Paulie. It's ridiculous. Maybe now that their lies have been exposed, they'll stop but I doubt it. Oh well, all the greats have haters!

I notice that social media follows the same rule of life; you get what you look for. I've decided to spread positivity where Paulie is brought up and just show love and support. It has attracted a lot of fans into my circle, which I'm thankful for, but I'm even more thankful that they're out there for when Paulie returns home! He's planning to do so many good things for his family, friends and even fellow cast mates James and D'avonne's kids when he returns to NJ (hopefully after winning when he returns to the Big Brother house this week) and he deserves so much support for it!

Paulie Calafiore Is Doing Something Right; All Good Actors Are Hated

Let me preface this by saying I do not advocate hating anyone. I truly believe there is good in everyone and the good in Paulie Calafiore is more evident to me than it is to many people apparently. However, let's remember one thing; all reality television is highly produced and you go in with a certain persona to win and maybe even because production asks for it in order to make for good TV.

I liken this to something my father told me when I was younger. He said, "if an actor makes you hate them, they deserve an Oscar." I think that's why I tend to root for the more aggressive players in Big Brother, even though I tend to love them rather than hate them. Well, there's that and the fact that the reasons I COULDN'T be on the show is because I can't lie with a poker face or fake friendships/alliances. It's all part of the game and you have to be good at it, even if it goes against your character in the real world. It's expected on the show! I mean, they're still showing Paulie and talking about him and he was evicted! I'm praying he wins Jury Battle Back because the show is an absolute snooze fest without him after the few seconds they show him!

There's another saying I always go by in life; "if you don't have haters, you're doing something wrong." All self assured, secure people just don't care what other people think of them. This was clearly on Paulie's mind a few weeks ago when he said, to the live feeders, "I'm sure 97% of people hate me and the rest know there's a method to my madness." He didn't seem to care either way. 

However, I do care and I'm sure Paulie, as a person who knows who he is within himself, does not want people to think as horribly of him and his personal character as some of the bullshit I have seen online. Because it's NOT who he really is. I haven't met him yet, but I firmly believe this to be true. I'm sure he doesn't care if you hate him once you actually get to know him, but to judge him so unjustly and harshly solely based on what you see of him in an environment such as that of Big Brother is completely unfair. He was, and hopefully will be again, playing a game for $500k.

If you're watching Big Brother, you need to understand something before turning on your television. The people in that house are going to act different than how they normally would in real life. I'm sure even Natalie is a good person in real life! Well...never mind, I won't continue what I was going to say...she has nice hair. There's the good in her...see? It's true!

The Rules of Big Brother Break the Rules of Life

I have been a fan of Big Brother since the show started and it's on its 18th season. There are many aspects of the show that differ from real life; hence why it's a highly produced reality show. It's a contest for half a million dollars, of course nothing is off limits and you'll do things you normally wouldn't in your every day life!

Whether you're in the Big Brother house or watching the Houseguests on your TV, you have to think with your head, not your heart. There's no room for hurt feelings. That's hard when a showmance that's very real comes into play, but it's the name of the game. I would throw my own family or friend under the bus in Big Brother and make up once we won first and second place! 

You shouldn't watch Big Brother if you can't handle lying, faking friendships, cheating, manipulation or control toward you and doing it to others. Loyalty is preached a lot in there but always, always broken. It's a game and ultimately you're in it for yourself, your life and $500,000.

At the end of the day, people take this show so way too seriously and get upset over things way too easily. The houseguests would not do most of what they do to each other to people they know out of the house! The whole point of the game is that ONE person gets a half a million dollars! 

With that being said, this season has crossed the line a lot on personal attacks toward people. No one has had it worse than Paulie, in my opinion. He and Zakiyah made a plan together to talk behind each other's backs, so that was nothing. What the others did to him to his face now is plain disgusting! I feel like something is about to shut them all up but I don't want to jinx it...come on jury battle back! 

I Am A Jinx To Reality Television

Well I shouldn't be surprised at this point. I have been watching reality television since I was a kid and could count on one hand, combined for each show, which of my favorites have won. From American Idol to Big Brother, I could still probably count the winners I've chosen on one hand and both shows have double digit seasons.

The first time I became really invested in a winner for a reality show was Latoya London on season 3 of American Idol. I was pretty upset when she was voted off and still remember my parents' reactions from upstairs but no one's loss in American Idol history has devastated me more than Chris Daughtry. I remember the exact moment like it was yesterday. My cousin called and I didn't even say a word, just listened as she said "this show sucks!" I swear, I still feel like me voting causes these people to lose! However, one lesson Chris' "loss" taught me was that reality television isn't the end all, be all. It is merely a stepping stone, a beginning to a long career ahead. He's much more popular than most of the people who have won the show. Looking at it from that perspective has really helped me get through other losses. Which brings me to Big Brother...

Okay, so I get a little too invested in my favorites on each of my shows. I'm just the type to want the person to win rather than the talent. I guess that's why I'm into a show like "Big Brother." Especially with the way the Internet is nowadays, I've become so invested because I don't even need to pay for the live feeds to see everything and I don't have to waste my summer watching hours of footage. People post condensed videos now so I can see what my favorite Houseguest is up to in usually under an hour! Seeing the feeds now really gives me an opportunity to connect with the person and see them unedited to how the show wants them to be portrayed.

As far as Big Brother goes, my ultimate favorites have only won 3 times out of 18 seasons. I loved Jun Song, Evel Dick & Derrick Levasseur. There are too many to name in between that have lost and I was really invested in. Sometimes, like with Derrick and Cody from season 16, I will like the top 2 and it really won't bother me either way who wins first place. This season was not one of those times.

I literally only liked 2 houseguests for season 18: Paulie Calafiore (Cody's brother but a legend in his own right who I refuse to place in his brothers' shadow) and Zakiyah Everette. Everyone else was a snooze fest and annoying. Paulie was a great competitive and social player and Zakiyah had a strong and silent type social game. She'd go about her business, being friendly and painting her nails and then talk game with Paulie and my jaw would drop at what she observed. She also pretty much pegged what's been going on in the house in her post show interviews.

Call me crazy, but I still want Paulie back in the house next week during Jury Battle Back. I just don't find the show interesting at all without him. Sure, his little seeds he dropped before leaving have caused the house to turn on each other and split again, wanting Paul out (thank God for small favors and karma) but I literally don't want anyone left to win other than Corey if I had to choose. I don't want to jinx anything as far as Paulie winning the jury buy back and helping Corey take everyone else out. I was cautiously optimistic (as I am by nature) and was sure he had the round trip ticket, only for that hope to be squashed this week, which was stupid for the ticket to not to be used at all but that's a whole different story.

I'm coming out of this season as a fan of Paulie's for life. I think he's an amazing person and I look forward to seeing all the doors open for him, that may not have if he wasn't on the show. He truly does deserve it! He will go down as the Chris Daughtry of Big Brother (if he doesn't get back in and win...ugh, see? Still hopeful...)!

The Universe Has Your Back: Meeting Gabby Bernstein

Yesterday, the Law of Attraction was on in full force and I had signs from the Universe like crazy! It was my brothers' one year anniversary of his suicide and one of the first things to happen was I smelled my dad's cologne. Then, my mom and dad's wedding song came on the SECOND I went into the restaurant for dinner with my brothers' counselor. I then met up with a woman from GMA who helped me get my seating situated when I was there last and, at this event last night, was seated next to someone from one town over from me and we rode the train home together!

Yesterday was exactly what I needed. When you lose loved ones, as I've lost both my father and brother, you lose a part of yourself with them. Life also gets in the way and you want to be there for others. I have always been a good manifester, but with everything I've been going through, it hasn't always been good stuff that's been manifested. So what better way to focus back on my wants, needs and desires for my future than to witness an event focused solely on manifesting and run by the best of the best? I've been following Gabby Bernstein's work for years now, would binge watch her on YouTube and yesterday was my first time meeting her and seeing her live. 

Gabby was incredible live, but even more incredible as a human being. She came right over to me, her energy was infectious and she listened. She locked right into me and heard and cared about what I had to say. I told her how she helped me and what my family and I have been going through and what did she do? She handed me her Miracles Now card deck and Miracles Now book, without even blinking!

There are not enough words to express my love & gratitude for Gabby Bernstein. Gabby, you are everything and more that I thought you would be. Thank you for your time, your presence, your energy & your love. It meant more to me than you will ever know and was just what I needed today! I love you too 💖

Big Brother: Live Feeds vs. Live Show

As I've said in all of my recent blogs, I have been a fan of the show "Big Brother" since the show started. Ya know, back before social media turned people into stalking, vulgar psychopaths with nothing better to do than hide behind a screen as they bully opposing fan bases and the families of houseguests. But it's not all bad...

Because of social media, you don't necessarily have to subscribe to the live feeds. Within a day, someone will have uploaded video clips of what's been happening inside the Big Brother house. For example, making Paulie Calafiore look like the bad guy during an argument and another houseguest smell like roses. I've seen many of these instances and they have opened my eyes a lot. Back when the show started, unless you had the feeds, you'd 100% believe what you saw on television.

This season, the conversation on social media is so split. The reason for this is because there is a huge disconnect between what is edited and highlighted for one hour, three days a week on CBS versus what is happening moment by moment on the live feeds. I understand there's only so much time to fit a ton of footage, however there have been many distorted facts put into the show.

I don't understand how or why the show can or would do this. Today, more than ever, they can't really fool anyone. Someone will perceive something from watching the show and post it on social media, only to be corrected and shown the full context from someone with a live feed clip. So why take things so out of context?

Don't Give Up On Paulie Calafiore! (Zaulie Fans Unite)

*NOTE SUPER SAFETY IS NO LONGER IN PLAY. VOTE FOR THE NEXT PACKAGE*

Please know I'm writing this as a Zaulie fan. I'm one of the biggest. I think they're so sweet and I want a guy to look at me the way Paulie looks at Zakiyah. But fans have GOT to get a damn grip and THINK! We have to be strategic.

This is the only reason why I hate the Zaulie showmance thing. He's NOT gonna give up just because she's gone and go to jury just to be with her. Paulie shocks many of you and I tend to know what he's gonna do before he does it (Scorpio "type thing") but quitting isn't one of those things! He came onto this show to win before he knew he was gonna meet Zakiyah. He knows he's gonna see her again but he misses her right now and trusted that her eviction wouldn't even happen. I feel like after making it abundantly clear how he feels about her by being so heartbroken, we should unite and give him Super Safety, send him love and send a message to the house! I feel Zakiyah is rooting for him and what better way to support her?! I wish people in general would stop saying "oh, Z is being abused mentally, get her out of there!" and now "Paulie is heartbroken get him out!" Fuck that! He misses her, yes, but he also knew damn well to still be playing the game when she left too. If not, the conversations wouldn't have happened to make the houseguests think he believed she was actually playing him, which he told Nicole he doesn't. It's all been strategy, we ALL know that now. 

He will wake up today with a plan. His back is against the wall and he knows it. He's about to be up against one of his only 2 allies and votes that would be for him to stay. This is bad and he NEEDS the super safety but also for us to be behind him and positive. Best case scenario is he isn't backdoored and is put up upfront and wins veto, or that he has round trip or that he's saved by jury buy back but in the meantime, we can vote our hearts out to get him Super Safety. If we do, then Zakiyah can win Jury Buy Back and they will both be back in the house and can Mr. & Mrs. Smith those people! I truly hope the Zaulie fans see now that he does care about, and I'd say he even loves, Zakiyah. But I'm sorry, as a Big Brother fan from the get go, I'm not going to just be like "oh, spare his heart from these people, let him leave!" Um, he's proven he can play more aggressively than them! This just happens to be and feel personal right now so he needs time to digest it but you have to know his mind is always working. He's an athlete with an athlete mentality who lost an HOH last night too. He came to bring home that money!

I trust Paulie. Call me an idiot because everyone in that house has left with his hand pressing the button (even Zakiyah by suggestion) but I'd rather be for him than against him. I tend to see his moves before or as he makes them. I knew what he was doing yesterday by pretending to believe Zakiyah used him and EVERYONE thought I was crazy. 5 minutes later, he tells Nicole he doesn't believe it but was making them think he did. Again, it's a Scorpio "type thing" and a NY/NJ "type thing" to borrow a quote from him LOL. So please trust him and remember he came to win $500k!

To help Paulie achieve Super Safety, vote TODAY: http://www.cbs.com/shows/big_brother/americas-care-package/

What Whitney Houston Taught Me

With today being the birthday of the Queen of the Night, I thought I'd write a blog. I grew up on Whitney Houston's music. I remember being in the downstairs of my house and singing her songs on karaoke. I'm definitely an old soul, I love all of the music from my parents' and grandparents' generations!

One of my favorite Whitney Houston songs has always been "Greatest Love of All." It's not only an amazing song but it also has a great message. It's about self love, being your own hero and a parent teaching their child about just that. It's definitely something I'm thankful I learned in my childhood.

Whitney Houston's life also taught me that we often do put ourselves last and teach others what we need to be learning. She has helped so many people find the self love that she never found herself. We have so much to give ourselves and if we did, we'd have more to give to the world.

What Does Someone (Paulie Calafiore) Have To Do For Me To Hate Them (Him)?

I was just asked a very interesting and thought provoking question yesterday about Paulie Calafiore, my favorite houseguest on "Big Brother", and I wanted to answer it in a blog. It's a great question about Paulie and about life in general.

The question I was asked was; "What does he have to do for you to hate him?!" Okay, so he's been pretty aggressive in his game play! I can't blame him. I would probably throw my own family members under the bus a time or two if we were in the Big Brother house, have their back the next minute and then, once one of us wins the money, make up and split our prize! So, chances are, I'd have less trouble doing the same to someone I just met.

"Big Brother" is a game, it's a reality show. People watch and people join all for different reasons. Some people want 15 minutes of fame, some people want a showmance, some people want the jury check and others want the grand prize of $500,000 to change their lives. Everyone also has different ways of playing the game; some are great physical competitors, others are social butterflies, some are cerebral, others are great liars and get inside people's heads and under their skin. It's hard not to get mentally and emotionally invested in your favorite houseguests and pull for them as a fan. It's on 3 nights a week, you can also follow it on live feeds 24/7 and there is always social media now. Speaking for myself, it takes over my life every summer!

The type of player I prefer is one who is either feared and hated or one who is looked at as the leader. A cute showmance always pulls at my heart strings too...okay not ALWAYS but I won't mention the ones I couldn't stomach. But I don't really like floaters, they're so boring to me! I need someone to actively be playing the game for me to root for them.

If you've been reading my blog for at least the last few weeks, you know my favorite houseguest this season is Paulie Calafiore. Short of shooting someone or being mean directly to me, there's nothing he can do that would make me dislike him, let alone hate him. And, as I joked to the fan who asked me that question, even if he did shoot someone, it would depend on who it was and then I'd react. I mean, it could be a houseguest I don't like...JUST KIDDING! But really, he's playing an amazing game. He has the whole house under his spell and has had a hand in what happens pretty much every week. The week he was a Have Not, the entire house met up in the HN room! That has never happened, to my knowledge, on the show! He also has a showmance (which I think is more real than that because they try to downplay it and aren't doing anything for attention.) I feel like he's separating game with feelings and I can't blame him. It's the cause of a lot of hate he's getting from fans and haters, but I'm behind him on it! I think he seems like a real, genuine guy and I look forward to finding that out one day in person hopefully. I go into more of the game Paulie vs. real Paulie in my other blog: http://marissameleske.blogspot.com/2016/07/reality-tv-vs-real-life-big-brother.html?m=1

I'm not a hateful person and I believe there is good in everyone. There is a reason why people do or say the things they say and do. Even if anything Paulie did on the show was the real him, I'm an empath and would want to know what happened to make him feel that way. For example, I do think that maybe his past relationships are what cause him to believe that his current showmance isn't genuine at times. Then again, him saying that could also be part of his game because everyone lies, him included! My point is, we're all human, all have pasts and all have reasons for being the way we are. I don't truly hate anyone and I've had some bad shit directed at me from other people and neither of us were fighting for $500,000. For those who hate ANYONE on a television show, please wait until it's over and then draw your own conclusion based on things outside of it. I've heard a lot of shit about a lot of people whom I later met and ended up loving. It's not worth it to judge before you see for yourself!

My Issue with the Show "Born This Way"

I've been a fan of the show "Born This Way", a show about people with Down Syndrome, since the first time I saw the previews before it premiered. It's in its second season now and I'm forming more and more opinions. I try to give the benefit of the doubt, but when things hit so close to home I just can't help but express how I feel.

In this week's episode, 2 of the mothers went way overboard in my opinion. One of the girls on the show, Megan, and her mom have been going back and forth since the shows' premiere about whether or not she was going to move away from home. I understand the mom has fears, but it's been my experience that there is a very thin line between being protective versus treating your adult child like a little kid, especially when there is a disability involved. I honestly feel that this is the very reason Megan wants to move out on her own in the first place. An overprotective parent can make you feel so suffocated, especially when the reason for being overprotective is very obviously a disability. It doesn't feel very good at all!

There is also a boy on the show, Sean, whose friend Steve and his girlfriend took him to Las Vegas. Again, I do understand a parents' point of view of being overprotective, especially when it's Las Vegas and the boy has an interest in sex. But the things this mother was worried about were nothing of the sort. She was picking out his clothes and telling his brother play by play of what she wanted him to do to take care of him. Thankfully, the brother seems to give him a little more breathing room than to follow the directions to a T. He seemed more than capable of doing so many of the things his mom was being overprotective about.

It's not all bad. I really appreciate the family of John, another person on the show with Down Syndrome. His sisters are so on board to take him in if, God forbid, anything were to happen to the parents. However, this family also lets him have his freedom, be himself, have responsibilities and follow his dreams! He's an aspiring rapper and his parents put up the money to help him make an album, with the understanding that within the year she will be paid back. There's never any fear when it comes to this family as far as letting John be John and do his thing. Even if they know there will be fall out, they're there loving and supporting him through it.

Look, I get being overprotective when your child has a "disability." Most parents are. Mine have always been pretty lenient, but my mom will still get nervous when I travel alone and I'm 29 years old (that also has a lot to do with what's going on in the world though too.) My problem is when the parents go over the top, like some of the parents do on this show and will completely override what their kid wants. It gets to a point where your child is going to feel like you don't believe in them or want them to live their life. How do you think it would make them feel if you, the person who has always been there for them, doesn't believe in them? I'll tell you how it would feel, like crap!

I'm not trying to judge. I'm trying to help and be a voice for those who are silenced. When it comes down to it, parents need to do their best and trust in that when it's time to let their child go into the world but you absolutely cannot baby them forever. Don't make yourself yet another obstacle standing in their way.

Reality TV & Social Media: Too Close for Comfort (BB edition)

In this day and age, with social media, the lines are completely blurred between celebrity and fan. We can connect ourselves with the click of a button and some will convince themselves that because so and so has a Twitter and they follow you, favorite what you say, tweet you back etc, that means they're your best friend. Some also believe that because so and so has a Twitter, you can and should tell them exactly how you feel about everything they do, even personally. Neither is the case.

It's the worst for reality stars, I think. I can understand being invested in a show and the characters on it but reality tv deals with real people. Take "Big Brother" for example. It's not just a show that comes on 3 nights a week for an hour. You can sign up and literally follow the houseguests everywhere but to the toilet via the live feeds (yes, even the shower.) It's always been that way and that had to be hard enough. Now add social media to it and everyone has an opinion on everything going on in the house and will not hesitate to share it, usually in a less than tactful way, with everyone including the houseguests' accounts and their families.

This is America and we are all entitled to our opinion and to have our First Amendment right of Freedom of Speech. However, meddling into other people's business and telling them what you think they should do is ridiculous, whether you're trying to save one from a mistake or vilify another. It's crossing a line big time.

I already see it with Big Brother Houseguests Paulie Calafiore and Zakiyah Everette. The two like each other and every time they fight or something goes awry between them, people are tweeting Zakiyah's family about how horrible they feel for her and saying how she needs to basically be saved. On the other side of the coin, you have people creating what was a viral hashtag of #WeHatePaulieCalafiore and tweeting his family about how they and he should be ashamed and what a horrible person they think he is. These same fans/haters are prepared to send both houseguests and their families clips from the live feeds of the show to justify their perspectives and opinions. I even got a tweet today, even though I'm just a fan, asking me if my brain was also paralyzed (I have Spina Bifida, so I'm paralyzed below the knee) because I support Paulie. Like, really? I'm not the one whose brain needs to be examined. I support both of them together and individually and that's just all there is to it.

When you're locked in a house all summer playing a game that's basically one big mind fuck for $500,000, that can be overwhelming in and of itself. Then to come out and have support flooded your way can be even more overwhelming. But to have hate and deep opinions on what you should do with your life coming at you non stop? That's way over the top, crossing the line ridiculous and people should really back off and not have an end goal of someone shutting down their account because of you. It's NOT anyone's place to do that. Shit like that is what drives celebrities to drink, literally.

We know the actual families and friends of the Big Brother houseguests are watching the live feeds. If they want to take things up with them and bring certain things to their attention after the show, fine. If not and they'd like to move on, that's fine too. But it's not the place of Joe Schmo or Jane Doe, someone who the houseguests wouldn't know if you paid them to identify the person, to do that. Stay in your lane!

Where Is Paulie Calafiore's Head?

Okay, I've really done it this time. I climbed into the rabbit hole and can't find my way out! I'm trying to get inside Big Brother houseguest Paulie Calafiore's head and figure out just what he's up to. Someone come find me after the finale if I can't get out!

I don't, for one second, believe Paulie is a bad person. I wrote a separate blog on that which can be read here: http://marissameleske.blogspot.com/2016/07/reality-tv-vs-real-life-big-brother.html?m=1 I think he's very cerebral and a great Big Brother player. He's a Scorpio! I also think that he got more than he bargained for with a showmance...or actually a romance that he's trying to downplay because he really cares about the girl (Zakiyah.) Don't look at me like that, I do believe he cares. 

So here's the deal. Either he and Zakiyah are part of some twist that's messing with ALL of us and they both deserve Oscars (or maybe not, because I'm figuring them out of this is accurate) or he's trying to draw a wedge between them so the house doesn't think they're as close as they are. They both agreed to do this weeks ago, but maybe they're so good at it that we don't even realize what's going on anymore. Maybe he's going about it wrong in some of the things he says, but like I said he's not perfect and maybe she's in on it and playing her part. I don't think she's this fragile woman some of her fans are believing she is. Do I think some fights are real? Sure. But I also think some of it is to keep them both around. There's a reason they always make up a lot faster than most would in the real world after the fights they have and a reason he's so quick to change the target from the house wanting to put her on the block. 

If I'm right, last night they started to play both sides of the house because the house believes both don't trust each other anymore. Even after making up, they continue to try to make the house believe that they're just smoothing things over to not start trouble. Plus, come on, there has been NO TV footage of the fights they've had and NO diary room sessions from them about each other when we KNOW they were forced into talking about their fights? This show LIVES for drama and would show whatever they got, even if the houseguests try to keep it to a minimum. I think there's a reason they're not showing anything and it's not the interracial relationship card, like some fans want to believe.  

One thing I've learned is to pay attention to what Paulie says and, more importantly, who he says it to. I don't care if he's sucking up to someone, there are people (Nicole) that you know he's lying to! Once paying close attention started to give me a headache though, I just gave up and decided he's lying to everyone all week and we won't know his plans until someone is evicted. Welcome to reality TV! The man plays chess, did you expect anything different?

One thing I know to be true is that I can't take anything Paulie does or says at face value. He said just yesterday on the live feeds that he's aware that 97% of people must think he's crazy but that there's method to his madness. I have been part of the 3% and believed that from day one, but figuring out just WHAT that madness is, is a project. I deserve to be rewarded with meeting him if I'm right about any of this...just saying!

Reality TV, Character Judgments & Bachelor's Sloppy Seconds

It's funny because I just wrote a blog defending Paulie Calafiore from Big Brother because so many people think he's an asshole (see blog here: http://marissameleske.blogspot.com/2016/07/reality-tv-vs-real-life-big-brother.html). Tonight, I'm watching the Bachelorette finale and here I am judging the hell out of one of the last 2 guys standing cuz he seems egotistical, superficial and fake.

I'm a good judge of character and I try not to jump to conclusions. However, I do trust my instincts. If someone is putting on a facade, I'm the first to call it out. Paulie is playing a good game of Big Brother, the guys on the Bachelor need to be genuine and real and I don't think all of them are.

More importantly, why can't a girl be on the Bachelorette without having been on the Bachelor? I get that the Bachelor came first but not only would I not want to feel like sloppy seconds after being dumped, I also have no interest in going on the Bachelor and fighting 24 other women over a guy. I'm not catty and I wouldn't wanna feel like I'm fighting for someone's love and no doubt have to dodge a lot of drama along the way. If love is not given freely, just to me, why bother?

I'm not trying to sound egotistical or attention seeking, but I would probably do the Bachelorette as a newbie. Call me old school but I don't mind being chased and pursued. I wonder if the show is ever gonna change it up and allow a woman on who hasn't been on the Bachelor first?