I've been a fan of the show "Born This Way", a show about people with Down Syndrome, since the first time I saw the previews before it premiered. It's in its second season now and I'm forming more and more opinions. I try to give the benefit of the doubt, but when things hit so close to home I just can't help but express how I feel.
In this week's episode, 2 of the mothers went way overboard in my opinion. One of the girls on the show, Megan, and her mom have been going back and forth since the shows' premiere about whether or not she was going to move away from home. I understand the mom has fears, but it's been my experience that there is a very thin line between being protective versus treating your adult child like a little kid, especially when there is a disability involved. I honestly feel that this is the very reason Megan wants to move out on her own in the first place. An overprotective parent can make you feel so suffocated, especially when the reason for being overprotective is very obviously a disability. It doesn't feel very good at all!
There is also a boy on the show, Sean, whose friend Steve and his girlfriend took him to Las Vegas. Again, I do understand a parents' point of view of being overprotective, especially when it's Las Vegas and the boy has an interest in sex. But the things this mother was worried about were nothing of the sort. She was picking out his clothes and telling his brother play by play of what she wanted him to do to take care of him. Thankfully, the brother seems to give him a little more breathing room than to follow the directions to a T. He seemed more than capable of doing so many of the things his mom was being overprotective about.
It's not all bad. I really appreciate the family of John, another person on the show with Down Syndrome. His sisters are so on board to take him in if, God forbid, anything were to happen to the parents. However, this family also lets him have his freedom, be himself, have responsibilities and follow his dreams! He's an aspiring rapper and his parents put up the money to help him make an album, with the understanding that within the year she will be paid back. There's never any fear when it comes to this family as far as letting John be John and do his thing. Even if they know there will be fall out, they're there loving and supporting him through it.
Look, I get being overprotective when your child has a "disability." Most parents are. Mine have always been pretty lenient, but my mom will still get nervous when I travel alone and I'm 29 years old (that also has a lot to do with what's going on in the world though too.) My problem is when the parents go over the top, like some of the parents do on this show and will completely override what their kid wants. It gets to a point where your child is going to feel like you don't believe in them or want them to live their life. How do you think it would make them feel if you, the person who has always been there for them, doesn't believe in them? I'll tell you how it would feel, like crap!
I'm not trying to judge. I'm trying to help and be a voice for those who are silenced. When it comes down to it, parents need to do their best and trust in that when it's time to let their child go into the world but you absolutely cannot baby them forever. Don't make yourself yet another obstacle standing in their way.
Hello. While I understand and respect your opinion, I feel that you should know that Sean C. - the guy who took Sean M. to Vegas - is a friend, not his brother. This has a huge impact on the amount of information his mother felt she needed to share. If they were brothers he would have personal experience with his needs. A friend, however, would not have that knowledge. As far as Kris and Megan go, that's a very difficult decision that i'm not sure any of us can judge. Kris obviously wants to support Megan in anything she wants to do. However, there are many skills that Megan needs to master before she can live independently. I think it's very brave of these parents to let the world into their homes and allow us to see their daily struggles. We can't possibly put ourselves in their shoes. I do hope people will continue to watch and see how these remarkable families work through these issues - they deserve our respect and gratitude for the work their doing (in my humble opinion.) just as you do for sharing your perspective for people to learn from. Respectfully, Stephanie
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