The Barron Trump Autism Debate Needs To Stop!

*Disclaimer: Any negative comments on here or social media about our president in reply to this article will be deleted. This has nothing to do with him other than as a father.)*

Ok, Rosie O'Donnell, this conversation was started by you so let me (hopefully) end it. I was not going to touch it with a ten foot pole, simply because I believe that children should always be off limits, especially in politics. But I'm just going to say what I have to say, mostly about the speculation itself, and then I'm done. 

One thing we can all agree on is that Donald Trump has raised five beautiful, successful and incredible children. I know this first hand as I have met all of his adult children as well as the man himself. Melania and Barron weren't there, and this is precisely where I'm going with this blog. Barron Trump. 

Barron Trump Autistic? if so - what an amazing opportunity to bring attention to the AUTISM epidemic https://t.co/Acgy1Qxyqi via @YouTube

— Rosie (@Rosie) November 22, 2016

This was the tweet that started it all. Possibly well meaning but it sure created a fire storm. Since then, everyone has been whispering, hollering and tweeting or Facebook posting about whether or not 10 year old Barron Trump is autistic or has some other kind of special needs. My first thought was; anything is possible but have some respect, reach out to a representative to the family and show your concern in private, mother to mother. Simply for the fact that you know your tweet is going to reach some people who are going to be mean about the issue...and they were. Someone from SNL claimed he was going to turn into a school shooter. If, and ONLY if, it was 100% released FROM THE FAMILY that he had special needs, then speak out and try to get the family to speak about autism awareness. Melania and Donald have tried to keep Barron's life as private as possible because they know it will garner hate no matter what and they want to protect him, which brings me to my next point. 

The kid is 10 years old, clearly shy and maybe slightly socially awkward. Donald is an energetic and youthful 70 year old but Barron is going to exhibit the way his father stands, his facial expressions and some of his mannerisms. That's where I think all of this comes from. Barron seems more in his element the more we see of him. He has been seen smiling, laughing with his family and their security, all while talking his mothers' ear off at the parade and playing with his baby nephew while his father signed preliminary executive orders. 

Speculation isn't totally bad, especially from well meaning people (IE: people who would love the most important family in the country and/or world right now to highlight special needs as a key issue.) However, I just don't think Melania, especially, is asking for that or the hate her son is getting. She is very very protective of her son and it wouldn't surprise me one bit if she suddenly takes on her husband's personality for a moment and speaks out to everyone speculating on this issue. There will come a point where Mama Bear will have had enough, especially because for every one concerned person there will be at least two who choose to act in a less than sensitive way. 

Could Barron Trump have autism or some other special need? Sure, as I said, anything is possible. I just wish people would be more sensitive about the possibility given the privacy this family shouldn't have to ask for in regards to a ten year old. It should be common sense and common courtesy. That goes for ALL first families; past, present and future. Where has common courtesy and common sense gone in this world?

Other news article (not mine) about horrific things being said about Barron Trump:

http://dailyinfo.co/security-staff-frantic-after-what-just-happened-to-barron-trump-last-night-this-is-sick/

"Is OJ Innocent? The Missing Evidence"

There have been a few iconic court cases so far in my lifetime. One of those few that I paid very close attention to, even at the age of, was the O.J. Simpson trial. I remember coming home from school every day to my family watching it on television. At the time, we all thought he was innocent. 

Shortly after, we became ashamed of ourselves at how evident it was that he was guilty. Then we'd just start laughing at how long we felt he was innocent. There was no way he actually was, right? Not so fast...

A new show premiered last night, "Is O.J. Innocent? The Missing Evidence" on the Investigation Discovery channel. Admittedly, the sole initial reason I tuned in was because I'm a huge fan of Derrick Levasseur, a cop who is investigating the new evidence on the case. I've been a fan since he was on (and won) season 16 of "Big Brother" and wanted him to win because he's a cop. 

I went into watching the show completely believing O.J. is guilty. I didn't think I'd be convinced until the last episode, if at all, that he didn't kill Nicole and Ron. I was actually convinced on the very first episode that there may be more to the story. While I do believe there's a chance he did it, there's also the theory now that OJ may have taken the fall for Jason but it can easily be leaving Jason out to dry and an easy free target. Derrick, Bill and Kris concluded that there were 2 people but they can't conclude that the other was involved in the murder in any way, or that the other person even knew about what OJ was going to do.

If you ask me, it was Jason Simpson, OJ's son, with him that night. Too many people concluded that there was another person, someone wearing a hat Jason was known to own and wear, but stopped wearing after the murders. While I do think OJ committed the crime, too many people saw another person with him and someone even identified that person as Jason. I don't know how anyone can despute his involvement in some capacity. Especially after watching every episode of "Is O.J. Innocent: The Missing Evidence."

I Support Lamar Odom

I woke up yesterday assuming that "The Doctors" was on sometime in the afternoon. As you can imagine, I was so upset to find out that I'd missed (and forgot to DVR) the episode on Lamar Odom. I did find clips though, and regardless I was going to speak about it today anyway.

Many people have scrutinized Lamar for his relapses. While I don't believe that relapse is part of recovery, rather it is part of addiction, it does happen. As long as I see any living, breathing human being picking themselves up and fighting for their sobriety and their life another day, I'm proud and consider it a hopeful success. After all, I lost my brother to years of addiction and an ultimate suicide. So any attempt someone makes at getting help always gives me hope.

Others criticize Lamar for being so public with his journey and chalked his struggles and attempts at sobriety up to merely being publicity stunts. They feel it's the Kardashian effect rubbing off on him for the money he'd get doing interviews. I disagree. I am incredibly proud of Lamar. I believe it takes a tremendous amount of courage to admit to YOURSELF that you messed up and even more courage to get help for it and then come out to tell your story to one AA or NA meeting. Lamar has done all of that, plus shared his struggles and successes with millions of us, all the while knowing many would scrutinize him for it. 

In recovery, you must always pay it forward. I looked at Lamar's interview as doing just that. I was not only proud of him while watching. I was also proud of the one, two or one hundred people in the world watching the interview and deciding to start their own journey toward sobriety. You never know who you're inspiring when you share your struggles. 

Lamar, I along with millions of others am so proud of you and thankful that you trust and love your fans enough to want to lean on us for support. I'm also thankful for your raw truth and honesty that is no doubt relatable to someone out there watching and struggling with their own demons. I wish you nothing but health, happiness and love this and every year to come.

http://www.thedoctorstv.com/episodes/exclusive-lamar-odom-s-road-to-recovery

I'm a Huge Fan of Life!

I had this idea for a project I'm starting, but I wanted to touch on it in a blog post (and video, at the end of this blog). I'm a huge fan of life. Despite any challenges or obstacles I face, I love my life and life in general.

This also bleeds into entertainers of any kind that I love; singers, actors/actresses, reality stars, authors etc. I cannot support someone who doesn't have a life message which I connect with, outside of their craft. Fortunately for me, there are so many of them. 

I'm honored that I've gotten the opportunity already to interview some really amazing people for this project. I love to promote positive people and, in turn, promote and support whatever it is they're currently doing. 



Who would YOU like to see me interview and learn more about?!

https://youtu.be/80I_XZdu8Sc

Things I "Use" My Disability For

It has occurred to me that many people think I (and my fellow wheelies - I hate all the formal words so I made up my own) "use" my disability to get what I want. So I've compiled a list of things that I use my disability for. I hope you enjoy. 

I use my disability to inspire others. I never have to make any of my accomplishments or ventures public but I choose to because it makes me so sad to see so many people who don't believe in themselves and don't push themselves to do things they've only dreamed of doing! 

I use my disability to prove to myself that I can do more than I ever expected.

I use my disability to keep myself mentally and emotionally strong, pushing past any limits society or my inner voice have set.

I use my disability to remind myself to be grateful for all the things I can do and all the things I do have.

I use my disability because God doesn't make mistakes. 

I use my disability to remind myself that everything happens for a reason. 

I use my disability to shape my perspective on everything about life. 

I use my disability to love myself exactly as I am. 

I use my disability to remind myself and others that differences are beautiful and make the world go round. 

I use my disability to be grateful that if I stub my toe (which happens a lot), I won't feel it. One I'm sure is still broken and the other has no toe nail and when that happened, the room looked like a murder scene from a movie. Didn't feel a thing.

Then there's that time I was climbing stairs and hit a nail, carving open my entire foot. I laughed, my aunt almost passed out. Moving on...

So the next time someone tells you that you're using your disability, show them this blog. We all can only use what God gives us. Remember that. Most of all, use your ability to love yourself and others and laugh with each other. 

"You cannot change the cards you are dealt, just how you play the hand." - Randy Pausch 

Which Way Are You Digging?

I posted something on my instagram that said: "Become uncomfortable with being too comfortable in an uncomfortable situation." Someone replied asking what it meant so I said it means to not be okay with being in a shitty situation in life and to dig your way out (with help, if needed.) The person replied, "I'm digging."

Immediately, this posed a follow up question in my mind that I did not ask. The question was, "which way are you digging?" You have a few choices in any situation. You can dig your own hole, you can dig a deeper hole or dig your way out of a situation or even a feeling. But the only way out is through.

Often times the very thing you're using to cope is actually digging you deeper into your problem or bad feelings. It's numbing you and you won't even realize it until you recognize that you aren't reacting at all to the shit going on around you. You act indifferent and, because you aren't sobbing or losing your mind, you may think you're doing okay. But you still aren't dealing with the problem. The feeling creates more problems and you end up feeling like you can't turn to anyone.

To dig your way out of a problem takes action outside of your own head. Yes, inner work is a big part of it too, but you need to really take a good look at your life and change SOMETHING. Otherwise everything will stay the same, sometimes things will worsen and dig you deeper. Changing one small thing can, will and should create a domino effect. It sounds simple and obvious, maybe even too good to be true, but it is true.

You also cannot dig someone else out of their own shit. You can listen and be a helping hand when they ask, but you can't do it for them. Even if you could, that would be taking on their journey for them and they wouldn't learn all of the life lessons they signed up to learn. That can be a hard thing to come to terms with, especially when it's someone you love. All you can do is live your own life the best way you can and hope it inspires them to do the same.

I discuss more about change in my previous blog:
http://marissameleske.blogspot.com/2017/01/my-2017-new-years-resolution.html?m=1

My 2017 New Year's Resolution

I've thought long and hard about my New Years resolution for 2017. I'm going to work just as hard keeping it as I did thinking of what it would be. It's definitely not as cliche as it may sound. I'm going to embrace change and learn to love it.

Life was amazing growing up. I can't remember many hard times and I'm grateful for that. As I got older, I realized that tragedy makes change hard. A lot happened in a short amount of time that has made me afraid of change. Any change signified things getting worse or harder. I know many people can relate to this. It's like if you're unhappy with something and want SOMETHING to change, like something's GOTTA give, but you don't want even more to go badly so you just keep things the way they are. The only thing is comfortability is dangerous.

If things change rapidly for the worst, it can make you yearn for the past and be scared to break out and change anything about your life for the better. It's safer to keep things as they are. So what should you do? Become uncomfortable with being too comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. But don't overwhelm yourself trying to change everything at once, otherwise you won't change anything. 

I can only go by what I'm going to do and suggest it to you. Start small with changing the time you wake up (earlier is always better, unless you NEED more sleep and already are up before dawn.) A change of scenery is always good too. Maybe a different area to read or do work in. Change one thing you do daily, just one small thing. Eventually, things will move in a direction you like more and more and you'll embrace change. You may even learn to love it. 

Life is always changing. That's part of the problem I've had with change. As I said earlier, so much changed at once for me. My dad had a rough few years before he got sick and passed away in about a years' time in 2009. We moved and had hurricane Sandy after that, losing everything. A few more moves happened and then we lost my brother in 2015. It's forced me to adapt and trust that, even when I can't figure out what's happening, everything will be okay. Everything is always happening for a reason and I have to trust God and the universe. That makes it easier to adapt to these changes in life. 

Something else I'm finally learning is that I can't change anyone else, nor can I change their minds or situation unless they're ready. I've always known that but let it frustrate me. I'm learning to accept it as one of the things I cannot change, while hoping that by living my life it will inspire others to do the same.

I've been watching a lot of my favorite coaches and speakers lately. So I thought I'd tell you something I learned from each of them.

Sunny Dawn Johnston is always talking about us being the only one we can change!

Don't let anyone make you play small. - Lisa Nichols

Don't settle. - Trent Shelton

Take no shit. - Matthew hussey 

I'm Not Where I Want To Be Yet

I just had an epiphany and literally opened up my app to write. I was watching a YouTube video by one of the many inspirational people I follow and it just hit me. I've been very frustrated lately about not being where I want to be in life. It's the curse of turning 30. You analyze and criticize your choices and your place in life like CRAZY. I've been meditating and praying about it and I swear my prayers were answered in the form of this video by Angela Rockwood.

https://youtu.be/YgIfm-e_oYQ

If you're not where you want to be yet...that's GOOD. The day you have everything you want is the day you stop living and cease dreaming. You should never be fully satisfied. You should be content and grateful and even happy, yes. But you should ALWAYS be striving and dreaming big and pushing yourself to the next level. 

We limit ourselves so much by our contentment and our limitations. We place them on ourselves. No one can place a limitation on you, not even society, unless you take it from them and accept it as your own. I find that the more I desire, the more I grow past my current circumstances. 

I'm a control freak. I have an order in my head of how I want things to go because I feel inadequate in some areas. But I realize, now, that in the back of my mind I'm giving off the vibration of the LAST words I ever want to say: "I can't (until)...". If you know me at all, I try to never say the phrase "I can't." However, saying that I'm going to or want to do this before gives off the vibration and impression that I'm not going to do the other thing because I can't since the first thing hasn't happened yet. Does that make sense? It did in my head. 

Point being, I've decided to stop giving the Universe and God a time table. He laughs at our plans anyway. This is a big lesson for me on surrender. I have to let go and let God and spirit guide me. I've decided to go with the flow...at least a little more often.

Merry Christmas To All Those With Empty Seats At The Table

This year, more than ever, I'm feeling the loss of my father and brother. Christmas is in 2 days, as of the time I'm beginning to write this blog. I know they're here, but I'm still feeling their losses. 

It got me thinking about how many people are spending this Christmas with one or more empty seats at the table. Whether your loved one passed away, you aren't getting along or they're off fighting for our freedoms. Whatever the case may be, you're left behind to mourn their absence in some way and will see that empty seat at the table.

There is no simple answer. There is no secret. There is no dessert, no gift that will make up for the loss or replace the physical presence of our loved ones. All we can do is be grateful for the time we had with them and continue to make them proud today and every day. Especially at this time of year, when we can all believe in magic, we have to believe they see us when we're sleeping and know when we're awake. For those who have lost parents, they also know if we've been bad or good...so be good for goodness sake! Okay, I'm done! Admit it, that was funny. Don't be a Scrooge! 

Merry Christmas...even if you don't celebrate🎄🎁🎅 to those who are offended, Bah Humbug! 😂

The Universe IS Anxiety

You read that title correctly. Sometimes the universe is anxiety. Yes, that's a metaphor, not a simile. Forget the fancy schmancy terminology; vibration, law of attraction, manifestation. It is all true, don't get me wrong, but I think that because it is so unnatural to so many people, it feels more complicated than it should and not enough people end up willing to practice the principles.

Most of us aren't in a good head space when we venture into actively studying the universe. We may have been into it before but we begin to really delve deeper when we want some type of change to occur in our lives. So we reach out to a church or metaphysical text, YouTube videos and blogs. What we come upon is miles and hours long. We end up feeling even more discouraged and depleted because we feel it's going to take a lot longer to "fix it" than we thought it would. We become obsessed and depressed, feeling like we're never going to figure this thing called "life" out and that that is, somehow, a bad thing.

The secret is...there is no secret. None of us are ever going to completely figure life out. I love studying the universe, I really do. However, it really can get way too complicated. Getting so immersed in spirituality can get you stuck in your head, causing you to become your own worst enemy, like a person on trial being badgered by a prosecutor to the point where you admit to a crime you didn't even commit.
I know many spiritual teachers will tell you that it's going to feel worse for awhile while you peel back the layers, but sometimes I really do feel like we are creating a problem that wasn't even there in the first place. Which then proves the law of attraction right because even MORE bad shit starts happening then because that's our point of focus. That, my friends, is exactly what anxiety is. It's a vicious cycle. If these practices don't give you anxiety, great! There are times when therapy and peeling back layers of our deep seeded emotions is the key to our healing. But I know many people, myself sometimes included, who have felt worse at times when turning to the universal teachings and even church.

The same can be said about life in general. Everyone is obsessed with finding the hidden or deeper meaning to everything! There's still something to be said about being forthcoming, upfront, straight forward with no hidden agenda. We do and say the things we do and say because we want to. Period, end of story.

Life is really a lot simpler than we make it out to be. Do what makes you happy, be with who makes you happy and let the people who are important to you know just how much they mean to you. Think back to a time when you were at your happiest: What were you doing? What types of people were you surrounding yourself with? Go do that, even for just a few minutes a day on the phone with someone you always have a good time around.

Be natural. Let it come naturally. Anything forced will just create resistance to what's going on and more suppression to what you're feeling.

What Does Healing Mean to Me

I've grown up always resisting the word "healing." Personally, I feel that we all choose the lessons we want to learn and the life we want to live. Therefore, I've never wanted to be "healed" of my disability. I know I'm meant to learn things and meant to teach others a lot as well. Plus, who wants so many damn surgeries?! 


I firmly believe that we only need to heal emotionally, mentally and spiritually. The rest takes care of itself or begins to no longer matter anymore. If things keep going wrong for us and drama or chaos keep ensuing, it means we are off balance within, resisting our path and the universe/God is trying to nudge us back on track. 

So what do we do? How do we heal our mind and spirit when everything seems to be going wrong? We simply have faith and surrender. As a control freak and perfectionist, this was a hard lesson for me to learn, but I'm getting better at it! Of course, we always have to examine what we can change but it is so important that we adapt, go with the flow and trust that everything is happening as it should be!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ruj9ifkh-7E

Heroin Injection Facilities...Are You Kidding Me?!

I was watching "Tucker Tonight" last night and he had someone on talking about heroin injection facilities. That immediately caught my attention because my brother was an addict for years before committing suicide last year. As you can imagine, THIS news makes me SICK!

I don't understand it. I mean, it's one of those situations where I want to channel Estelle Getty, Sophia Petrillo from "The Golden Girls", and say "your heart is in the right place, but I don't know where the hell your brain is!" I understand this will significantly crack down on the occurrences of HIV, hepatitis and the like but people are going to probably die from the heroin if they don't stop using it. I also understand that addiction is not easy to "cure", as there is no cure right now. If it were easy, we wouldn't have overdoses, suicides, relapses or people on waiting lists for help at rehab facilities that currently have no room for them. However, surely there has to be another idea we can collectively come up with besides glorifying using and making it seem okay to do.

Tucker Carlson put it perfectly. If you're going to invest money on a drug program, why not make it something that will discourage its use and attempt to stop the epidemic, not try to normalize or encourage it and make it okay? They say the heroin injection facilities are for people to have a safe place to do it but, um, it's not a safe thing to do no matter which way you look at it! Time, money and energy would be better spent on bettering the rehab facilities, outpatient and transitional care for the people who want substantial help and can't get it, as well as even help for the families and friends of the addict. There are so many people without adequate health care to receive extended, quality care. Some people can't even stay a full 30 days in any facility because their healthcare won't cover it. 

There is so much wrong with our system in so many areas, but in regards to addiction it is a mess and I can attest to that. I saw the lengths my brother had to go and hoops he had to climb through to get any sort of help. I also saw the discouragement he felt and how, at times, it felt easier to just use. I don't want another person to go through that or another family to lose someone because their loved one felt that way. 

Fortunately, I do have friends who have a foundation that is designed to help addicts who want to get clean and sober but don't have the financial means to do so. Visit them for more information and/or to donate at http://nowmattersmore.org 

There's Always Something to Be Thankful For

Sometimes I feel guilty for remaining so positive. Sometimes I feel like I'm "supposed" to be more upset about some things that happen in life than I actually am. That's not to say I don't allow horrible situations to affect me, but I tend to bounce back and look at the positive or the big picture. Sometimes I feel like maybe I'm bottling it up and it's going to hit me like a ton of bricks one day. But maybe, just maybe, I'm focusing my energy and my mind where it needs to be...Gratitude.

This past year and a half hasn't been the easiest for myself, my family and many others. Actually, life has had its share of ups and downs since my dad passed away in 2009. However, I'm still here which means I have two choices; exist and be miserable or live and be happy! It's not always an easy choice to make. Sometimes I'm filled with guilt if I'm too happy on some days. During those times I remind myself that my dad and my brother (who passed away last year) would not want me to live miserably. So I make it a point to love something about every single day.

Since this is a public blog, I'm going to skip the generic list of answers that include everything I've been grateful for for the past 30 years. This year, I'm especially grateful for the experiences I've had and the people I've met. In an attempt not to make this extremely long, I'll say this; it is not nearly enough to send all of my love and gratitude to Paulie, Linda, Paul, Aunt Caren, Angelina and Cody Calafiore. I feel beyond blessed that God and the universe has allowed me to cross paths with you and I will never take it for granted. I love you all. I'm also thankful for the friends I've made this year and even the haters for clicking my blogs. Without knowing it, you helped my read count go up and for that, I'm grateful and truly touched that you took the time to do that (trying not to let on that I'm being sarcastic in a nice blog.)

Gratitude truly is one of the biggest keys to a happy life. If you're grateful, you'll receive more to be grateful for and be able to spread that to others. However, the same can be said for bitterness, so you need to choose wisely. Happy Thanksgiving to all!