Governor Kasich Signs Down-Syndrome Abortion Ban In Ohio

Let me start by saying that I’m no fan of Governor John Kasich, but I’m a fan of the abortion ban for Down-Syndrome babies. It is possible that someone you don’t particularly like will do something you 100% support. If there is one time where I’m totally and completely against abortion, completely anti-abortion...it is on the subject of disabilities! 

My parents were given a 50/50 chance I’d live & even less of a chance I’d be a “normal” kid. My point in this is that you never know, so why rob any child of a full life because a doctor scares the shit out of you as a parent? 

When you have sex, you know there is a chance you’re going to get pregnant if you don’t take proper precautions. Even then, there is no guarantee. I’m of the belief that any responsible adult should also take into account that their child could, potentially, be born with a disability. If you aren’t okay with that, it is up to you to take the precautions and NOT take it out on the child, who needs you...or at least someone, to take care of them. If you truly can’t take the thought or the pressure, give them to a family who will love them the way they deserve to be loved. Give them to a family who will help them realize their true potential and prove doctors (and you) wrong. 

It is up to you, as the parent, to raise your child to be strong, independent, kind hearted and a slew of other things. In my opinion, that goes quadruple for a child with a disability. Yes, it is a huge responsibility and I do understand being scared. But open your eyes. Stop looking for what scares you. You’re sure to find it if you look for it. Instead, look for the success stories. There are a lot of us out there and, speaking for myself, I’m more than willing to help. 

The Misconception of What Feminism Really Means

We live in a time where apparently there’s a new definition to every term we thought we knew. Feminism is the newest one...

Feminism, by definition, means “the advocacy of women’s rights on the basis of the quality of the sexes.”

That says equality not superiority. Read it again if you don’t believe me. It’ll say the same thing. Then again, we live in a society where facts no longer matter and public opinion is judge and jury as far as sexual allegations that seem closely associated with the feminism movement.  Not every man is bad and evil. I’m sorry, but that’s the way it is. Masculinity is still sexy and not evil, wrong, too aggressive or what have you.

I have a special message for women who claim that they didn’t speak up sooner about sexual harassment or assault because they were told and made to feel that assault was normal. Listen to your own guidance. If your experience taught you anything (which when you’ve truly forgiven and healed, it should) let it be that you hold your own power. If it feels wrong, speak up. However, do so to the proper authorities and don’t make a spectacle of yourself and try to take down the entire male species based on your own experience. 

To the real victims, I’m sorry that opportunists make it harder for you to be believed. To the women who simply want to be the better species, who crave attention and/or think all women should be blindly believed and all men are bad despite facts or lackthereof...SHAME ON YOU!

People With Disabilities Need Confidence & A Purpose

I’ve always found it so hard to help people with disabilities because they, at least the ones I’ve tried to help, are generally very negative. After a lot of frustration at myself for not being able to help, I’ve since discovered what they need...

Confidence and a purpose outside of themselves and the limiting beliefs they have about their lives.

Often times, it’s easy to get consumed by and focus on our current circumstances and everything that’s gone wrong in our life. If enough goes wrong consecutively, your brain will actually begin operating where all you see is the negative in any situation. Well, what happens when our life is one big ugly circumstance? Randy Pausch said it best in his Last Lecture. He said, “we cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.” 

At some point you have to come to terms with reality. It is what it is. The only thing you can control is what you decide to feel about and do about your circumstances. You’re making it a lot worse but choosing, yes I said choosing, to be resistant to the circumstances and do nothing but bitch and complain about them. 

You may not be able to change the circumstances, but you absolutely can change your response to them. That, in and of itself, will change not only your outlook but your life...and the circumstances themselves don’t even need to change for this to happen.

Look, I get it, so many people will tell us we will never amount to anything. If it’s not doctors it’s society and, sometimes, it’s someone very close to us. That’s why the answer must come from within. We need to build our own self worth and confidence and find a reason to go on, a purpose. That’s something universal and certainly not limited to those of us with disabilities. 

Flyin’ Solo With A Disability - My Trip From NY To Vegas!

On November 11-13, 2017, I flew on a plane for the first time by myself. It was even better than flying with someone. It made me want to take more trips alone and even look more forward to moving out on my own! 

Here is a brief description of my experience! 

https://youtu.be/-jrVQp8_BFc

Rape allegations - The Court Of Public Opinion - I Support Nick Carter

If my brother’s addiction taught me anything, it’s that everyone deserves a second chance in life until the day they die. He pissed me off to no end at times and I hated the addict he became, but I always loved my brother and still do. No matter how angry I got, I always had hope that he’d change his life around.

His name was Nick. Now, the only other Nick “in my life” is being dragged through the mud for something that supposedly happened years ago. He had much of the same struggles as my brother. He’s a recovering addict with a past. 

Let me be clear; I’m not excusing any rapist or sexual assaulter. 

Nick could have done what he’s being accused of, for all I know. However, when someone cleans up their life and gets their act together in the ways Nick has, it is a damn shame when their past is thrown back in their face. It’s even more of a shame when it’s the latest fad to do it. I don’t believe half of the “victims” who speak out lately because there are many holes in their stories and many just want a quick and pretty penny. So it isn’t just because the latest story has hit one of my favorite people.

Have we gotten to such a hateful time in this world where we’ve forgotten about forgiveness and the chance to change? Nick has changed for the better, as far as I’m concerned. I’m proud of the man he’s become and I’m proud to support him.

Nick has responded to the allegations:
http://tmz.me/HzlUUxO

A World In Crisis - World Mental Health Day

If you live on planet earth and are blessed enough to have access to the internet and television, you've undoubtedly heard about the recent events in Florida, Texas, Puerto Rico, California, Washington and Nevada, as well other countries around the world. I'd like to start by saying that my thoughts and prayers are with all who were affected, as well as all who lost their lives. As hard as these times are, it forces us to think of our fellow Americans and not so much of ourselves and our own personal crisis'. To me, any crisis' boil down to two things; spirituality and mental health. 

In my reflections of everything going on in the world today, I was thinking of what we all can do for victims of the natural disasters, tragedies like the shooting, hurricanes, fires and the drug crisis, which always seems to be pushed aside. Aside from practical ways like donating money, I can only come up with one answer that pertains perfectly to all of these instances and that is to increase mental health awareness and look at things on a spiritual level. Think about it, when you're going through any type of tragic event, often times you need some form of therapy to deal with it, when you're in an addiction or the loved one of an addict you also need some type of therapy to deal with it. Often times tragedy is the beginning of an addiction. You also need to look at why it may be happening from a spiritual level and turn to the God of your own understanding.

Media polarizes everything and it often baffles me that addiction isn't usually what they try to spin...they just don't cover it often at all. On one hand, that lessens the amount of people demonizing the addict (enough people do already though) yet on the other hand it creates an out of sight, out of mind mentality around the subject of addiction altogether. The same can even be said for people who weren't directly affected by the shootings and natural disasters. I'm not sure I'd have the sympathy I do for people that are hit by natural disasters if I hadn't almost lost my life and my family's life in Hurricane Sandy. That sounds bad, but it is definitely true that you have to go through something yourself to truly understand or relate. It doesn't make anyone a bad person for not being affected as much by certain things.

So how do we stop these tragedies from happening? First, we define what we can and cannot change. Often times, we think that we or the government can or should have too much control and, when we don't, it can get frustrating. So what CAN we do? We can start by taking personal responsibility, having self control and control over our own mental health. It is not guns that kill people, in my opinion. It is the person behind that gun or guns...or bombs, knives, fists or what have you. We need to gain control over our emotions, learn to process what's going on in our lives that affects us deeply and move past it in a much healthier way. Healthy coping mechanisms are KEY to ALL of this. In my opinion, it will be what finally unifies us.

People With Disabilities SHOULD Be Pushed Past Paralysis

Recently, a friend and former teacher of mine got a review on a song from his book series turned movie "Mickey Tussler", that features a boy with Aspergers. The series is meant to be uplifting and motivating and I believe it achieves just that. The comment, though, hit enough of a nerve where I just had to speak up about it.

The comment reads as follows:

"This is a potentially harmful, misleading message to be sending to those with special needs. Does one have to be successful on an athletic field in order to be accepted?"

First of all, the author has a passion for sports which is why the book centers around that and is, of course, what the main character in the series is doing. It does not mean that all people with disabilities have to be passionate about the same thing. It also doesn't mean they shouldn't either, though.

What really bothers me about this person's comment is the feeling of "you're accepted just for being you" mentality that I feel coming from them. I'm a big believer in God and the universe and do believe we are all meant to be the way we are for a reason and God doesn't make mistakes. Anyone who knows me or has followed me for any length of time can tell you that, as well as the fact that I do have a disability myself. I do, however, have my own motto in life of "Push Past Paralysis" and firmly believe you should do just that in every area of your life. It doesn't just have to be a physical paralysis or disability.

My parents were given little to no hope that I'd ever lead a "normal" life. The main premise of this series, to me, is that you can do anything you put your mind to, no matter what anyone else says. I don't know how much more uplifting you can get! I'm living proof that that message is pretty accurate!

For anyone interested in all things Mickey Tussler, please visit the links below:

http://www.franknappi.com/
https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/buckle-up-and-dig-in-single/id1280040459

Amend the American's With Disabilities Act & Abolish the Pre Existing Buildings Clause!

Please join me in my effort to make this country & world universally designed and accessible for ALL! There should be NO reason that any location is not accessible to people with a disability because it was built before 1990!

Please sign this petition & share it EVERYWHERE!

https://www.change.org/p/department-of-justice-amend-the-america-s-with-disabilities-act-with-no-pre-existing-building-clause?recruiter=5564933&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=copylink&utm_campaign=share_petition

Do You Pray FOR or TO Someone Who Dies In "Taboo" Ways?

Today is my brother's 2 year anniversary of the day he passed away. I received many messages, texts and comments of love and support. One in particular caught my attention. I'm not sure if it was a grammar error or not, but it made me think and over analyze...as per usual for me. 

The comment was well meaning, of course, but it made me think of our obsession with religion and how different each religion is from each other. It made me think of my own faith and belief of life after death. 

The comment was "I'll pray for him."

For those of you who don't know, my brother committed suicide. Many people are unsure about whether a troubled person who dies in that way or similar ways really goes to heaven and whether or not they're really at peace. My firm belief is yes to both of those things. 

God isn't a teacher that's going to pass or fail you. Yes, I do believe we can choose to come back here and relearn lessons we didn't learn and I believe we continue to learn in heaven. I don't believe for a second that there is a principal's office in heaven that decides whether or not we get some mean form of detention and sent to hell. This also goes for the cruelest of the cruel people that walk among us here on earth, but that's another blog entirely. 

My philosophy is: Pray TO the dead, pray FOR the living. When someone dies after suffering greatly on earth, they find a peace that they felt they couldn't get to here (NOTE: This is not a reason to convince yourself you'd be better off dead. I don't want that on my conscience.) God doesn't punish us. Some people may feel punished during a life review when they see what their death does to those left behind, but they move past it.

Here's the thing, we love to compare here on earth. From hair, make up, cars, houses and personalities, we are a society that's obsessed with comparison. God doesn't compare deaths and say "oh you suffered from cancer so you go to heaven, you got smashed from a car so you get to go to heaven but oh no...you, there, yeah you...you made some choices to mask your suffering of turmoil inside you that resulted in your death so you have to go to hell." Those left behind also can't measure who suffers more depending on the circumstance of death. 

The fact is, our loved one isn't with us on earth anymore and we're grieving...each and every one of us who have lost someone we love. There isn't anything anyone can say that'll make it better. Most of the time we just want their loved one back which is impossible. However, we can all try to restore the faith of those who are suffering with grief by reassuring them that their loved one is safe, at peace and not suffering. 

Why Christmas' Broken Ankle Shouldn't Disqualify Her But Open BB19's Eyes

If you've never heard of Big Brother before, all you need to know is everything is fair game for an argument and fight. This doesn't exclude the latest "drama"....houseguest Christmas' broken foot.

Another houseguest ended up causing Christmas to break her foot, severely enough to need surgery that will take up to a year to recover from. She may never even gain full and normal use of her foot. Instead of wishing her well, this of course causes tons of chatter amongst Big Brother fans.

So should Christmas be disqualified from playing Big Brother? My personal opinion is no. I'll take it a step further and say I don't even think she should have to sit out of competitions. I think the burden lies on CBS & Big Brother to make their show more adaptive.

I'm in a wheelchair and, while I personally would never sign up for Big Brother because of the burden it puts on you and your loved ones mentally, I don't think I or anyone else in a wheelchair should be made to feel like we can't even attempt to sign up due to the physical nature of so many of the competitions. It doesn't mean that it's going to be any less difficult for anyone, but there are tweaks that can be made to allow everyone the opportunity to participate.

My YouTube video on the subject: https://youtu.be/1tt5cerjFss

Caitlyn Jenner & Steven Tyler, "Dude Looks Like A Lady" Duet

I'm writing this blog shortly after finding out that Steven Tyler has teamed up with Caitlyn Jenner to sing a duet of "Dude Looks Like A Lady." Of course, there are different emotions being expressed by many different people over this issue. So I thought I'd tell you mine.

I relate to Caitlyn in many ways, so I sympathize with her too. I get flack all the time because people assume since I'm in a wheelchair I must think a certain way, I must take everything about it so seriously and I must stand up and fight for every person in a wheelchair. That is A LOT of pressure to put on someone. I just choose to live, try to be as independent as possible and go after my goals and dreams. I'm not gonna change who I am to appease anyone or pander to anyone. People need to loosen up, especially those who claim they are all about letting people be who they are. I guess it's only when it fits their narrative.

Anyone who questions my feelings, there's always an underlying reason of it being because they're shocked I feel the way I do since I'm in a wheelchair. That's just the way it is and I've accepted it. Because no one will understand if they aren't experiencing it. I don't consider myself part of a community because I appreciate every person having their own identity, hopes, dreams etc. I find that people "in the disabled community" are all at different levels so there isn't really a collective like there is in the LGBTQ community. Many are just going along with life, not part of a movement. If people make fun of me or someone in a wheelchair, I have enough confidence in myself to move on with life and be unbothered and I also know that I'm not in anyone else's brain so I can't just step up to a mic and advocate for that person who IS offended. They're going to be offended regardless of what I say and they need to do work within themselves to not be. I can't do it for them. Nor can I change the people who ARE doing and saying things to be malicious. They're even harder to change. It's just up to the individual to work on themselves to the point where those people become meaningless and don't affect anyone's view of themselves. 

I think that if Caitlyn wants to do something fun, she should. She can't spend her entire rest of her new life afraid to do or say something "wrong", especially in a free country! Yes, she's an advocate but she is also her own individual person and people are putting so much pressure on her and forgetting that. She is not Jesus, she is not expected to save the world! She spent too many years hiding from who she really is out of fear, why should she be afraid to express herself NOW?

I choose to have a sense of humor about life. I always make jokes when someone stubs their toe like "thank God I wouldn't have felt that" or "I bet that hurt, thank God I don't know what that's like!" I even make fun of myself when I do bang an area I can't feel. I get responses from people who are mortified on my behalf that I've said anything like that. They automatically assume I'm talking down about myself and that deep down inside I must be depressed and projecting...

Uh no, I really am just funny and sometimes downright mean. I'm from NY, what do you expect? People need to just mind their own business, live and let live and get over it! I understand wanting to feel like you are part of a collective and not alone in something that is probably scary for many, but society has to let people be an individual too. That's getting lost in all this. This policing of people's minds is downright exhausting and much more of a dictatorship than the people doing it even realize.

I'm Learning To Let Go & Surrender

I'm usually a very positive and motivated person. However, recently, I've really been reflecting on life and trying to understand and "fix" that which has not been working in my life. It's actually made me realize quite a few things about myself and life in general that I thought I'd share.

Life will never be perfect. We can have our visualization and manifesting lists all we want, but life just happens sometimes. We may be redirected by God in ways that make zero sense to us at the time because it was nowhere on the list of what we want and actually could be what we were trying to avoid. So what do we do?

Stop striving for everything to be and go perfectly. Stop trying to escape the imperfections because you'll miss out on the good things that are already there. Don't manifest to escape. Stop making those lists and thinking "oh I don't want this" and "I can't have that there." Always focus on what you want and how you want to feel. Try and change your perspective on what isn't working, instead of resisting it and pushing against it so much. Focus on what it's trying to teach you and make you understand about yourself and your current situation in life. 

This has all reminded me of something I always TRY to remember. God sees things we don't. He sees the end result and bigger picture. Our egos limit us. That's why it's so important to always ask for "this or something better" and to remember that the "something better" may not look like you'd expect at the start of it.

Do I Want To See Paulie Calafiore On The Next "Big Brother - All Stars"?

I've been thinking a lot about this since Big Brother 18 ended. Actually, I've been thinking about it since Paulie's eviction and I figured I'd finally talk about it since BB19 is going to start one week from today. People have asked me if I want to see Paulie Calafiore back for an all-star season, so I thought I'd blog my answer at this particular time. It's complicated, just like the rest of my long winded answers that will never fit in a 150 character tweet. 

Yes, is the short answer. But let me explain.

Paulie is a grown man. I trust him to make his own decisions for his future and his life with the utmost care and consideration. I trust his judgment, I'm positive he could handle it. So, with that being said, I know that if he makes the decision to ever return to the show, it will not be on a whim. The first time wasn't even on a whim, he knew what he'd face because Cody had been through it. Although, I'm sure nothing prepared him for a lot of what he's gone through since signing up for the show up to the present day. If he ever decided to do the show again, I'm sure it will be after extremely careful consideration (and a little competitive push.) 

I'm a ride or die. I support whatever the people I support want to do with their lives as long as they are happy. So, if the day comes where I'm watching Julie Chen tell Paulie to enter the Big Brother house again (and win), I will start the season off the way I wanted to start off BB18...proudly wearing the #TeamPaulie shirt that I now finally own!

I will be reposting this blog the second it is ever announced that Paulie will be on Big Brother again because I know haters will have all sorts of things to say, if and when that time comes. So it will be my pleasure to remind you that he's not an idiot and weighs his options carefully in life. It is, after all, his decision.