Reality TV vs. Real Life: Big Brother & Paulie Calafiore

I've been a Big Brother fan since the show started pretty much. I got into it in middle or high school and I'm almost 30. I'd like to think I know how the show works, but things have changed a lot on the outside because of social media. 


Let's start with the Diary Room. I'm not going into explanations of what that is. This is for people who follow the show and will already understand what I mean when I say DR. Anyway, I have always felt that the DR had a ton of influence on the game. I mean, there's a reason that the second one of the Houseguests says something about the DR, the live feed gets cut. Fight club and we don't talk about fight club! The show is highly produced, many former houseguests have said it but the show will not give you proof. To me, the Diary Room is like the worst kind of friend, the instigator. You go in upset or pissed off and they feed you things to keep you emotional or fighting so that the show isn't boring and doesn't drop in ratings. $500k is a lot of money but people don't just start bickering for no reason. They have to be egged on somehow!

The show also casts people based on personality traits they know they can manipulate out of you. There's always a cryer, always an aggressive player and everything in between. Which is why I'm glad I enjoyed the show for so long without social media. It's a ruthless show and with social media now, people are so quick to defend someone they feel is in the right and vilify someone they feel is wrong. Defending someone is fine, but taking personal character assassinating jabs at the opposition when you don't know them is out of line. 

Which brings me to this season, season 18. There's a sibling twist and one of them is Paulie, brother of former houseguest Cody Calafiore who came in second during his season. That has to be pressure enough! He's also into sports, which also brings out his competitive nature. He seems like the type who came into the game well versed on it and well coached by his brother and others he met through his brothers' season. He's also a Scorpio, like me. We like things to go our way and we don't mess around to get what we want. When we explain things, we stay super calm but you can tell we're annoyed and seething and will eventually raise our voices. Add into the mix that he meets a girl he likes and also wants to protect as a part of his alliance. He's in the Big Brother house, he's GOING to lie to EVERYONE and feel intense pressure on himself and people need to realize that before throwing tantrums at him. He's doing the best he can under all different circumstances and he's human. 

Should he be trusting certain people? No. Should he be talking personal, even if he's lying, to certain people? No. People get hurt in the midst of it, but I truly feel like outside of the house, it would never be his intention to do that. But he won't find this out until after the show. These people are all he's got right now. If he called a real buddy from home or his brother about his personal feelings toward anyone, he'd get a completely different answer than venting to a house full of other people who are his competition and also have their eyes on $500k. He's also a guy and guys can be stupid LOL. But in all seriousness, I've seen so many different things said about him that I had to speak up. 

This world is so divided. People think nothing of throwing around words like asshole, abuser, manipulative, racist, sexist and so on and so forth. That, to me, completely undermines the people that those things actually happen to. You are not cut out for Big Brother, even watching it, if you're not ready for ruthless backstabbing, lying, cheating or if you can't figure out when something is real outside of game. We should have a broader, clearer perspective on that then those only concentrating on the game behind those 4 walls. Fans are so quick to grab their computers or phones and bitch about it, even to the families of these people on TV, and that's just not cool. Send them love or don't follow them at all!

And yes, I feel like I just channeled Paulie Calafiore with my life coach dissection of this show LMAO. I just felt he needed to be defended since I've seen nothing nice lately about him and wanted to give my perspective. His family is also being nice enough to chat with us on social media, don't be an asshole to them by taking personal jabs and talking shit about their son to them. You wanna hate his game? Fine. But you don't know him from Adam, neither do I. I think we should give him the benefit of the doubt. I'm sure he's a great person and I look forward to meeting him the next time he holds some kind of event in NY, hopefully after he brings home that $500k to NJ! 

Why I'm Voting for Donald Trump

I really wasn't sure that I was going to do this. They say to never discuss politics and religion. At this point, though, I think we have to. With the way the world is, SOMETHING has got to change! Plus, there are still many undecided voters out there and, while I'm not trying to impose my views on anyone, it may give you some information and insight you may not have had.

Let me start by saying this; I was never a fan of Donald Trump. I used to go to Atlantic City all the time with my parents and heard his name constantly as this rich guy who build zillions of buildings in NY and NJ. So I felt he was overrated and mentioned way too much in the media and news. I passed through the Trump Tahj Mahal a lot and it was beautiful, I must admit!

I WAS and still am a supporter of Herman Cain, another business man who ran for president 4 years ago. So when the rumors started rumbling that Donald Trump was going to announce his candidacy, I admit I got excited at the prospect of a non politician in the Oval Office. And then he announced and I've been on the Trump Train ever since. 

He truly is the voice of the American people. He says exactly what has been on my mind and what I've been saying for so long, and I know I'm not the only one. He's also been asked to attend meetings over the years within the government to offer his help and insight. Some people give him flack for "saying the same thing for 30 years", but maybe if we would have listened to him THEN, we wouldn't be in the positions we're in NOW. 

Some of the most important reasons I'm voting for Donald Trump are because he is the best negotiator running for office and he handles his business. I'm not at all worried about his bankruptcies. In business, we ALL have failures and his successes far outweigh any of the flops...which I can count on one hand. Plus, in the case of his hotel casinos in Atlantic City, they were ALL going down and he pulled out before everything fell apart there. That's what a smart business man does.

Another reason is that he's not Hillary Clinton. Yes, that's a valid reason to vote for him and I don't fault anyone for "picking the lesser of 2 evils." That's not me though, I think he's the best person to run in a long time. But if you're still undecided, ask yourself if you really want someone who has already screwed you over for the last 20 years like the Clinton's have in the economy and, most importantly to me, national security and outright lies.

The most personal reason that I'm voting for Donald Trump is because I'm NOT defined by my wheelchair. Yes, I was born with Spina Bifida and been in a wheelchair all of my life. Sure, he wants to save social security and Medicaid/Medicare from imploding, but even if he didn't I wouldn't care. I want jobs, a better economy and borders.

I also forgot to dispel some rumors in the video I made about this, which I will include below. Donald Trump is not racist or sexist! He wants to give opportunities for a better life for ALL of our LEGAL CITIZENS of this country. Period. 

#MAKEAMERICAGREATAGAIN 🇺🇸 

Why All Lives Matter - personal

I realize this topic is controversial, but please hear me out. In this blog I want to speak about myself, my life and my broad views on life. This will explain why I believe that ALL lives matter.

I was born with Spina Bifida. I use a wheelchair. I can count on one hand the amount of events I have been to for awareness for any of it. I don't view myself as different, so I'm not going to Ra Ra and beg to be seen as separate. Touting myself as someone in a wheelchair will ONLY show me as someone who is and always will be different. I don't choose to be seen in that light. We are ALL similar and ALL different.

I am, first and foremost, a healthy human being. My life matters just as much as yours, just as much a white man, a black woman, a blue duck, a purple cat and so on and so forth. I do not even view anyone who looks different to me as being a minority. We are all just people.

I realize that this view isn't the norm, it isn't popular and maybe that is what movements like Black Lives Matter is trying to combat against. I have a bit of advice from my experience though. Quit the violence at your events, including within your own race, and look at yourselves and your fellow man and woman as merely a human being. If we treated everyone equally and stop looking at color, that would spread quicker than anything we have tried before.

Appreciation Appreciates with Effort

Have you ever had someone tell you "money is energy"? Do you believe them? Or do you scoff and think "yeah right"? I've been on both ends of the spectrum, but I've only recently realized how true that statement really is. I believe that money IS energy, which means that money is also NOT the root of all evil if it is merely energy. The emotion behind it perpetuates the evil or downward spiral. 


You will never find your bank account increasing if your gratitude is decreasing. You will never find your bank account increasing if you have a block to receiving. Something Sunny Dawn Johnston said once really stuck with me. She said she really doesn't use the word "grateful", but instead says "appreciate" because of the bank account analogy. Money "appreciates" and you build interest. 

If you are negative in your mindset, you'll be negative in your bank account. If you're positive, vibrating high and pay off debts, your credit goes up. This is just simply the law of attraction at work. No one ever got everything good in the world if they were an ungrateful, whiny, selfish person.

I realized recently that all of the negative emotions that sometimes come with money are just a symptom of a bigger problem and a deeper emotion about a deeper issue. For instance, someone who feels appreciated in other ways wouldn't be as quick to be resentful toward someone whom needs their help for financial reasons. However, if the person is not only relied on for finances but also relied on and neglected in return emotionally, physically, mentally etc., the resentment will be even more amplified. 

There is also another saying that goes "people who feel appreciated will always do more than what is expected." Especially if you are an empath, you will often get leeches and energy vampires, sucking all of the mental, emotional, financial and other energies from you. This is why you need to practice self love and protect yourself from this, way before you say yes to the next person who needs your help.

Just like the airplane analogy says, you need to put your oxygen mask on and THEN help those around you. If you're gone or empty, you cannot be expected to give anything you don't even have yourself. You need to love and appreciate YOURSELF (by setting boundaries with others and practicing self love) before you can appreciate others and before they can appreciate you. If you feel like you're taking care of everyone else and getting nothing mentally, emotionally, physically or energetically back, you're not appreciating your own energy, boundaries, time, love, money etc. You're going to be numb and depleted and not have or want to give. But if you feel loved and appreciated for just being YOU, by yourself AND those you give to, you will feel that and WANT and be ABLE to give more.

If you ARE going through a hard time emotionally, appreciate it. Yes, appreciate it. Appreciate and look for what it's teaching you. It's a valuable and important lesson that you're missing in your wallowing. If you can't appreciate the lesson yet, at least shift your focus. Appreciate what's going right and more good will come from and appreciate from that feeling.

If you don't get your emotional, mental, physical, spiritual and energetic needs all met, you will be unbalanced, depleted and find yourself feeling negatively toward those around you whom you give all or at least most of the aforementioned things to. None of us have everything. Relationships are meant to fill those empty spaces so we can all work together. But if you find that you are feeling depleted in any of those areas, you need to look at how open you are to receive and then how willing others are to have a balance in the relationship. Adjust accordingly.

All Lives Matter

I have wanted to speak up about this, but wanted it to be well thought out. I don't even know what to say, but I'm going to try. I owe it to the police of this great country. Honestly, it's sick to me that the very people protesting against the police were then running to them for their lives. The irony!

I feel this was orchestrated by Obama and/or his administration. for his gun control argument to try and help get the heat off of Hillary. It's awfully funny he was in Poland saying all lives matter and cops lives matter on the same day this all happened. I smelled a rat as soon as he said it. He's never said that before and I don't think it can be a coincidence that this happened the same night.

And please do spare me the gun control talk. Let me ask you this, if some psycho is across the room from you with a gun, would you run toward him to stab him or try but miss hitting him with something you throw or just temporarily knocking him out? No, you'd wish you or someone in the house had a gun! Look, I don't trust myself with a gun. I'd be too nervous. But I support every American's second amendment right to bare arms. Well, mostly. I do agree we need background checks and psychological testing. It takes a strong person to know whether or not they're comfortable operating a fire arm but I'll be damned if I stop my fellow citizens from having one to protect me if need be.

What I don't understand is all black lives are supposed to matter, right? And there are peaceful Muslims, right? But all cops have been shit on before this and some still are! We aren't supposed to talk about terrorism or racism when a black or Muslim is killed, so PLEASE spare me about bad cops right now! 

I feel like having separate "support" groups is still pointing out differences and we will never unite as people if we go that route. All lives matter. Everyone is similar inside. How are we supposed to unite when we have all these support groups which divide us and make one feel inferior over another? But in the interest of a sarcastic bandwagon...Blue Lives Matter too. Wendy Williams had what may think was a surprising reaction about this issue. Here is what she said: http://freedomdaily.com/black-tv-host-ignites-firestorm-epic-race-rant-blacks-organizations-racist/

My thoughts and prayers go out to every officer and life lost, as well as to the survivors and every family or friend touched by this tragedy. I will be in NYC again tomorrow and plan to hug any officer I see 💙 #BlueLivesMatter

Why People Hate Being Preached To

Are you the type of person that wants to save the world? So many people, like myself, have a Superman or Superwoman complex. We just want everyone, especially those we love, to be happy. Often times, it falls on deaf ears and here's why...

The people in a rut see where we are and get bitter. Having someone happy and healthy tell you what you're doing wrong and how to fix it just doesn't compute because of the emotions the person currently going through it is feeling. They KNOW we are speaking logic and even trying to help but they are jealous of where we are and how easy we make it look that there is a large amount of resistance to them changing their own behavior and lives at all.

Which brings me to the next reason people hate being preached to. They think it can't be that easy. When you are that deep in an emotional and mental rut, getting out can be extremely overwhelming and seem completely impossible. Well meaning people who have been through it often oversimplify it because we take our emotions out of it and can clearly look at the steps it took us to get out of our own ruts. Because, yes, we HAVE all been there. No one is immune to hard times. It's a part of life and what matters is how we rise after falling on hard times.

The final, and most frustrating, reason people hate being preached to is because they want to stew in their negativity. There is really nothing we can ever do. They are unconsciously choosing to stay in their shit and that completely blocks them from listening to anything we have to say to try and help. All we will receive back is fights, anger and lasting out.

So what do we "preachers" do? It sucks to see people we love going through turmoil. However, it's equally frustrating to have them complain and reach out for help and then transfer their anger to us, the very people they turned to for love and help and who are definitely trying to help. The best thing we can do sometimes is walk away. If someone is unwilling to change, it will just bring us down with them and I, for one, do not recommend that. Change comes by influence, not force. Maybe, just maybe, by you living your own life to the fullest, they will see what can happen in their own life.