What Is The Goal of Hating?

The title of this blog is not a rhetorical question. I'm really looking for an answer. This is a question I've pondered a lot over time and a lot during the summer while Big Brother 18 was on. I'm very passionate about my music and my TV shows, and I normally end up following certain people's careers (and lives, thanks to social media) afterward. Which means I've seen them deal with the haters and have my share of hate thrown at me as well.

Honestly, the hate doesn't bother me. I just can't figure out the point of it though. Do people actually think by wasting their time and energy, going out of their way to harass strangers just for being passionate fans of someone or something, that we're magically going to change our minds? Yeah, a stranger TOTALLY has that much power over my life (dripping with sarcasm, can you hear it?) Block parties have been frequent this summer for sure!

It bothers me when the people I support get the brunt of the hate. They don't deserve it. None of us know these people. Why judge anyone so harshly based on ONE aspect you see of them? Why not save your judgements and go out of your way to find the good, or go meet this person to see for yourself? Or, how about just go support someone else altogether? I promise, the ones you don't like won't miss you. Don't follow them.

This is especially true under the intense microscopic pressure cooker of being in the Big Brother house. Paulie Calafiore is STILL getting hate and the game is over! Thank God he doesn't live for anything the haters or even fans say; he's damned if he does and damned if he doesn't. He played a great game and seems like a great person; both can simultaneously be possible. As for the hate and shade from other houseguests, it just goes to show that they aren't doing anything worthwhile in their own lives. If they were, why be so concerned with what Paulie is doing? It has come as no surprise to me that he has shown the most class since leaving the house (as well as Zakiyah) yet has received, by far, the most hate during the season and now after. He and his family have truly taken the high road, embracing the love and blocking the hate and it has been a joy to connect with them on social media. They set an excellent example for the fans on what to do when we get hate!

It makes me give major side eye when people jump on the #TeamPaulie bandwagon JUST because he's doing what they want him to do. Newsflash, he's not doing it for you. He's just living his life, doing what he wants and surrounding himself with the people he wants in his life. If you would have separated game from real life in the first place, it would have saved you the headaches all summer. So many people who talked crap about him all season long suddenly love him. I suspect part of that is also just to be noticed by him now and they won't hesitate to start hating again the second he does something they disagree with. I wrote a blog during the season in response to the haters who felt slighted and would be pissed at Paulie until he "apologized and fixed it" (yes, they mean apologize to THEM LOL), essentially doing what they wanted. I have news for you, Paulie is just a human being out of game mode and doing what HE wants, regardless of it now falling under being okay by haters.

I also wrote a blog during the Big Brother season about why I refuse to hate Paulie, let alone anyone else and a blog in response to haters feeling entitled. You can read both blogs here:

http://marissameleske.blogspot.com/2016/08/what-does-someone-paulie-calafiore-have.html

http://marissameleske.blogspot.com/2016/08/paulie-doesnt-owe-you-anything.html?m=1

So I'm going to get off of my soap box now and go back to showing love and support, as well as my own full life. Oh! There are 9 days until I meet Paulie. I will definitely be writing a blog after that, so keep checking back!

Nothing But Love For Zaulie

I'm finally going to speak on this. Many people have asked me to and, to be honest, I've been hesitant to really delve into this. I felt it wasn't my place because it's not my relationship and because I wasn't sure exactly where anything stood as an outsider. Since it has been personally confirmed by both Paulie and Zakiyah that they are going to see where their relationship goes, I figured I'd speak out.

I've loved these 2 from day one of the feeds, literally. They had an instant connection that just drew me in. I say to this day that, I want to find a man who looks at me the way Paulie looks at Zakiyah, forget "The Notebook." I could see their struggles based on the game and their pasts, but I'm so happy they made it out together.

As you can imagine, as with any couple in the public eye, these 2 have a lot of fans and a lot of haters. But at the end of the day, neither matter. It is all up to them and how they feel. Though, support would be nice.

I do caution people that there is such thing as passive hate. You don't have to send outright insults to be a hater. Anytime there is an heir of wishing someone well "but" or with caution, that is the thin line you've crossed into sending hate. An example that I've seen repeatedly from many people is that their relationship is "accepting someone flaws and all." What you may see as someone's flaw may be what the person they are in a relationship with loves about them the most. I don't want to use the L word yet (though let's be real, that's what it is) but I'm trying to paint a picture here.

The bottom line is, we all have flaws and BOTH Paulie and Zakiyah do too. Their personal story outside of game was mostly flawless, especially under the pressure cooker known as Big Brother. In the real world, I doubt they'd be dealing with half the hurdles they've already been through yet and obviously overcame. Pointing out flaws, especially in this case since they've only been out of the house for less than a week, seems like people are just projecting a game move as a character flaw, which is totally unfair.

Personally, I can only speak for myself. I wish Paulie and Zakiyah happiness, success and love both together and as individuals. I know the relationship is something they will BOTH need to work on and they have my support all the way. No one needs to prove themselves, be forgiven or one accepting that another has flaws.  This is the beginning of an equal, real, beautiful partnership and I'm here for it, enjoying it with no expectations or bias! 💖

Paulie Calafiore's Worst Game Move of Big Brother 18

Everyone has been asking me this ALL season long. "Marissa, don't you think Paulie was wrong for this? Marissa, don't you think he shouldn't have done that? Marissa, WHAT is Paulie thinking right now?!" I feel like I should invoice all of Twitter for the therapy sessions I've given when it comes to Paulie!

I have good news, though. I finally figured out a game move that I can hold over his head until the end of time and possibly never ever forgive him for. It's that bad. It was the single worst game move he made and it cost both him and Zakiyah their games! Now that I have the attention of the stans and haters who probably still hate Paulie for no reason even though Zaulie is on good terms, are you ready for this horrible game move Paulie made? I don't think you're ready for this one.

On the day of Zakiyah Everette's eviction, Paulie Calafiore took a nap! HOW DARE HE! YOU DON'T SLEEP IN THAT HOUSE! I was screaming at the feed clips people kept sending me, hoping he'd hear me telling him to wake his ass up! I don't think he should ever nap again. His whole life can flip upside down! He can't take that chance! In all seriousness though, he trusted James but had he not napped, I'm positive he would have figured out a lot sooner that James was going to flip the vote and he would have worked on him to change his mind (and it would have worked, given enough time.) Then Zakiyah would have been safe and they could have won HOH the next week and changed the course of the game completely.

So there you have it. You finally got me to talk smack about my favorite Big Brother Houseguest of all time. I'm sorry if this wasn't what you thought it would be and was completely underwhelming. You knew when you clicked on this that I'm ride or die for Paulie. #NeverCared about a hater!

(the irony of James watching them nap is creepy. Never saw him in this pic before!)

Team Paulie vs. The World #NeverCared

Last night's Big Brother episode was beautiful. Let's just put that out there! I loved everything except the fact that Corey was evicted. If you're not Team Paulie after last night, I will give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you've just missed the episode. Allow me to provide you with a clip. I hope you have your popcorn ready:

https://youtu.be/n8ERjwP_PtQ

In this blog I'll go into my take on why I'm more Team Paulie than ever. But first (Julie Chen voice), how amazing was it that Natalie was pretty much irrelevant in her own segment? I mean, we all thought she'd be the first to get attacked in the jury house (rightfully so) and it was almost like she didn't even exist! Can't say I was disappointed one bit about that! And I'm part of the "no one" who believes she'd use the veto on James. Or maybe she would but it would have been a pitch for fame, not genuine. But I'm leaning toward no.

Now for what actually did go down last night. I think Paulie was justified for his part in the argument. I also think global warming is someone else's fault and problem, but what do I know? So many people are blaming him for it, so who knows! Anyway, I can't imagine being surrounded by the opposite sex for as long as he has been. The guy had to be going a little stir crazy until Vic got there! Then, to have hashed things out with someone he clearly cares about and to see her get shunned and shaded by someone who was supposed to be her friend? He clearly was boiling about that inside for awhile. As a Scorpio, I can relate! From what it sounds like, he outwardly left it alone for awhile because Zakiyah is a big girl, but seeing someone you care about get treated like crap, and with no game play involved, has to hurt inside and eat at you.

The things that all of the girls were saying about Paulie were just sound bytes to me. Da'Vonne got up just to get in his face looking for a fight and it bugged her that he stayed so calm. The girls, which is exactly what they acted like, were going off at the mouth about their feminism. They all had a case of amnesia too, because they said that Paulie only starts arguments with the women. That's funny because I distinctly remember Paulie confronting Frank when he slapped Da'Vonne and Zakiyah on the butt. He also got into it with James when he found out his plan to vote Zakiyah out. I'm still bitter that feeds were down for that, by the way. He also has female family and friends with nothing but great things to say about him. I don't take what a salty ex or their friends have to say very seriously. I take it with the grain of salt it comes with.

I was very happy to see that an overwhelming amount of people had Paulie's back about last night. But the thing is, it doesn't matter if you don't. As a big fan of his, I want him to get so much love from people when he leaves that house and goes to the next thing he's ready to tackle. It would be nice and I have come across many fans of his. The haters (which now includes some houseguests, I guess) really have no say in what he or the people he chooses to have in his life do with their lives. So he's not going to care and give anyone the satisfaction. I do wish people would start acting like adults and just not follow or tweet people they don't like, but I'm not expecting a miracle.

So in summary, I've been Team Paulie from day one and that hasn't changed (and isn't going to.) I don't know how anyone could watch last night's episode and NOT have at least a few ounces more respect for him.

Why Paulie Earned My Vote for "America's Favorite Player" on BB18

I always complain that my favorite contestant on a show never usually wins and I can count, on one hand, the ones that have. "Big Brother" may have its issues, which I've addressed in previous blogs, but one thing it does is give us a voice on finale night. It gives those of us who have screamed, cried, thrown things at our TV and stopped watching, a chance to have a voice (not saying I did ANY of those things ;)).

Every season, Big Brother allows us to vote for our favorite Houseguest of the season and the winner will be announced on finale night as America's Favorite Player. To me, I look at AFP as the player who should have won in a perfect world (or the world in my head, that sees everything as it should have perfectly unfolded.) If you've followed me for any length of time, it will come as no surprise to you that Paulie Calafiore will be getting all of my votes this season. I will explain why and hopefully more of you will join me in rewarding him with AFP as voting is now opened.

In my opinion, Big Brother is an aggressive game. The tamer "floater" players bore me to tears. Or maybe it's just hot when an alpha male beasts competitions and takes control of alliances in the house. Maybe a little bit of both. Nevertheless, I like action in the house, especially when $500k is at stake, and no one provided more action and game play during all of season 18 than Paulie Calafiore. Even after he was evicted, the houseguests still talked about him! I think, at times, they were like lost kids wandering aimlessly needing their daddy to tell them what they should be doing.

Let's go down the list of Paulie's Big Brother accomplishments: he won 2 HOH's, 3 Power of Veto and played a part in staging each eviction up until Zakiyah's and his own. That's 8 weeks! For those who aren't going to vote for him solely because of how you're projecting Zakiyah or others should feel toward him, the 2 seem to have hashed things out. They're speaking and spending time together in jury and from the pictures, they seem happy. Just recently, he was the only in the house to defend Zakiyah against her so called friend and another time against Frank in the house. I have also seen many clips where he and Zakiyah both discuss talking crap about each other. So much of that was game play! I don't trust all of the jury video footage because it's staged and produced. They tell the jury what to discuss for a segment. Plus, remember that Paulie thought he had James and Natalie's votes to keep Zakiyah the week she was evicted. James flipped the vote, not Paulie (and James later in the season regretted it.) Paulie didn't use the veto that week because he was trying to be smart and strategic about his own game, not giving up a multiple person alliance while securing one person's safety, but also trying to secure her safety anyway with votes at the same time. I still say the DR stirred that stuff up for drama. No way is James this smart to get out big players (Paulie and Vic- almost). If you paid attention during the week of jury battle back, the jurors seem to have connected the dots, no doubt thanks to Paulie, and they all wanted James out. It is a game and, up until the week before his eviction, he was a mastermind!

I cannot be a fan of someone whom I don't like and respect as a person. I sincerely hope that those who actually know Paulie, and whose opinions HE values most, go easy on him after the show. I don't think he has done things that are nearly as bad as public opinion is making them out to be at all. Especially in comparison to other houseguests this season and in seasons past, yet they aren't held accountable. Through the show, I've followed very few houseguests in their post show, real life endeavors and I can tell you Paulie is already one of them. I have been following him since I've followed his brother Cody, who was runner up in season 16. I take this into high consideration when thinking about America's Favorite Player. Sure, the majority of my decision is based solely on Paulie's game play, but I also know some of the things he wants to do with the money he'll receive, if and when he wins AFP. He wants to help pay off his parent's mortgage, he wants to help Da'Vonne and James' kids, plus help underprivileged children and he wants to put money toward his gym and other endeavors he already has going on. All of this on top of the many doors that will open for him after the finale that he isn't even aware of yet.

So yes, Big Brother is a dirty game for $500k. But you can't really hate the player, you gotta hate the game or hate nothing. I personally love both! I will be giving my votes to Paulie because he deserves them all and I hope you will do the same!

To vote for Paulie for America's Favorite Player, please go to this link: http://www.cbs.com/shows/big_brother/americas-favorite-houseguest/

On another note, I am meeting Paulie at a Meet & Greet on October 8th. I am collecting fan letters to put together a book for him. Please send all letters to marissameleske@gmail.com with subject Paulie Project

ALSO, Paulie's brother Cody, from Big Brother 16, is starring in a movie along side Amber Rose, who is on this season's Dancing With The Stars! To vote for Amber and Maks, please call: 1-800-868-3401

Grossly Generalistic About Disabilities

Ha, Hillary Clinton's "grossly generalistic" thing just isn't gonna die, is it? Okay, I'll go with it. I'm a business woman and it's nice when topics I blog about so easily fall into my lap in this way! So let me have at it. 

Someone just commented on one of my Instagram pictures that said "the only disability in life is a bad attitude." Apparently she missed the memo that that was a positive message because her comment to me was "if you ever have a bad day, check out my page for inspiration." Those that know me, know I hate pity, so I know you can see the smoke coming out of my ears.

As a business woman myself, I get it. We market. We sit on social media for some time and hunt down our prey, so to speak. But that message, to me, for lack of a better term, was grossly generalistic. She chose that picture to comment on with that comment? She clearly assumes all people with "disabilities" need inspiration. 

Me? I choose to be the change I wish to see in the world and be my own inspiration. I suppose wanting to cheer someone up isn't as bad as others who get bullied, oppressed and criticized. If a person's first instinct is to lift someone up, that's never a terrible thing. But assumptions are never a good thing. Don't project your grossly generalistic assumptions onto others, whose life you know nothing about.

This is why I do what I do. To get people to see past the wheelchair, the exterior of everyone. To stop the generalizing and categorizing that so many of us experience and help those who let these incidences get them down. There is always going to be ignorance in the world. Our response should just be to politely show our positive mindset and hope to inspire the person and change their mind. 

Where Were You When The World Stopped Turning? Never Forget 9-11

In my opinion, September 11, 2001 is more relevant than ever before. Without making this a political post, I will briefly state that national security is at the forefront of this upcoming 2016 election. Today is about the lives lost, the mourning families of the victims and the heroes who saved as many lives as they could, often falling victim in the rubble as they tried to save one more. But it is also a harsh reminder of the attacks on fellow Americans that have occurred on and since September 11, 2001.

So much of our country and our world has changed since that day. Fear is okay and expected. It is not racism or racial profiling. It isn't even hate toward one individual at all, but fear of the lengths the bad guys will go to pretend to be one of us, only to harm ALL of us. We should not fear but practice vigilance and alertness. Maybe that feels better to say than the word fear. Having ID with your real name to identify you is not racism or racial profiling, especially if every person is being asked. I feel safer when I feel protected and I show my appreciation to every individual in uniform, who buy the way didn't ask anyone's background or examine their skin color when escorting them out of the burning buildings. That's how I don't let the fear of what could happen overwhelm me even though the terrorists didn't ask what anyone's background was before hijacking planes and crashing them into our most esteemed and respected buildings.

Without laws, we don't have a country. Our laws kept us safe after that September day, but many can't say the same about the world we live in today. Let's strip away labels and come together as one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. Stop the separation, fighting against each other as if any person is better than the other and remember that we are all Americans.

I remember what it felt like after 9-11. I was in homeroom in high school when we heard what happened. My dad came and got me a few hours later because my parents didn't know if schools were the next target. I finally understood the magnitude of what was really going on, but every time I went somewhere for months and months after, people all of a sudden acknowledged each other. It reminded us all how precious life is and how we really did come together. I finally understood how deep the word "patriotic" really is. I will always respect and love my country, my freedom, my flag and every other symbol that represents this great nation.
I don't know what happened to us as a nation since then, but I hope we get it back.

God bless the lives lost, the heroes, the heroes' and victims' families and God bless the USA.

If any of you find this offensive, too bad. Freedom of speech and I'm being patriotic, not hateful at all.

World Suicide Prevention Day

This year, I felt compelled to blog on World Suicide Prevention Day, which is today, September 10, 2016. Some of you may not know, but last year my 24 year old brother took his own life. It's been a long road, with still a ways to go but I've learned a lot through the process. I feel it is my duty to share it, especially on days like today.

The most important lesson that my brother's suicide taught me is to not play the blame game. It's nobody's fault; not mine, not my family, not his friends, not even his. He couldn't cope with the way his life was going, didn't see it turning a corner at all, and decided to check out. That seems cut and dry when you take all of the emotions out of it, but it is the bottom line. He also, on a deeply emotional level, has missed my father dearly since his own passing in 2009, just before my brother turned 18. So I really feel he wanted to be reunited with our dad.

Another lesson that my brother's suicide taught me is to live my life with him in mind every single day. It's taught me to take each breath and each moment for him, for those he no longer takes in physical form. I never take one single breath for granted (yes, that's a quote from "I Hope You Dance" by Lee Ann Womack). I never usually sweat the small stuff by nature, but in the last years of my brother's life, looking at anything I go through is a cake walk in comparison to what his life was like and the struggles he had. I have zero cause for complaint.

If there's anything I can say to anyone who has lost a loved one to suicide, it's that a loss is a loss. We can say all we want that it would have been easier to lose them this way or that way, but no loss is ever easy. And we can never change how it's already happened. All we can do now is regretfully accept the things we cannot change and honor them by remembering the person they were and are now again in heaven, the person behind the struggles and look at every person struggling with depression, addiction, thoughts of suicide, with the compassion to reach out and help them and their loved ones. It may or may not save a life, but (at the very least) the world could always use more love and compassion.

Do You Push Yourself to "Push Past Paralysis "?

As I said in one of my earlier blogs, there are many forms of paralysis; physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. My previous blog can be found here:

http://marissameleske.blogspot.com/2016/09/push-past-paralysis-physically-mentally.html

What I didn't address in that blog was what goes into pushing past paralysis. It's pretty simple and self explanatory actually; you push yourself. I physically push myself in my wheelchair every single day, but I also have other ways in which I push past my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual paralysis every single day.

Let's start with the most obvious form of paralysis, the physical kind. I push past paralysis by moving around. The wheelchair is not attached to my ass! I've had people ask me if I shower and sleep in it?! Hell no! First of all, there's fur on the seat and back which would be gross if it got too wet. Second of all, on a serious note, sitting for too long can kill you. No, really, a commercial said so. After my initial "oh shit, I'm screwed" reaction, I thought about the ways around sitting for someone who does not walk. I think the commercial may have been slightly wrong and as long as you don't sit in one position for too long, you're good. So I switch it up. I'll sit in my wheelchair for meals or when I'm going somewhere, but I'll transfer to a chair or the floor and, even then, I'll switch positions. If I'm sitting on the floor, I'll go into some yoga poses to keep the blood flowing.

Pushing past emotional paralysis can be quite tricky. You really have to know yourself and your emotional limits. What may be emotional paralysis for a more emotional person may not be emotional paralysis for a less emotional person by nature. But we all have emotions and must be careful that we aren't blocking them and causing the emotional paralysis because we are ashamed to even have or show our emotions. What we are feeling is never wrong and keeping them in keeps them there. If we allow ourselves to feel, we will move forward faster. If we hold onto the emotions, they will be in the back of our minds and hearts for as long as we are gripping onto them.

Pushing past spiritual paralysis is often the most personal form of paralysis. Sure, we all think and feel in different ways mentally and emotionally, but even if we worship the same God, it is different for every individual and our own life path. Some people incorporate their spirituality in their every day lives consciously with going to church, having private prayer or through meditation, for example, while others carry their spiritual beliefs but don't necessarily actively do anything daily.  This can be a good thing to have so many ways of pushing past spiritual paralysis, however, it must come from within you and what you're comfortable with and resonate with. Listening to others will cause more spiritual paralysis in the end, if their form of pushing past it doesn't fit you.

Most importantly is pushing past mental paralysis. We are our own worst enemies because our thoughts can cause us to remain in fear and in our own heads, creating more fear based on absolutely nothing. So what can we do to stop it? For me, I talk to myself! No, seriously, I give myself mental pep talks, even saying how ridiculous the thoughts I was having are and building myself back up. Meditation is also a great way to quiet your mind and push past mental paralysis. We often think ourselves into a corner and up against a wall and meditation helps to stop that.

If there's one thing I've learned from my physical paralysis, it's that there are ways around everything and there are no excuses for anything. Knowing that has given me the ability to use that same mentality for the other areas of paralysis as well.

The High & Low Vibration of the Phrase "Wouldn't It Be Nice?"

We are all generally familiar with the "What if's" of life. The phrase has taken on a very negative, low vibration as of late. Most times, generally speaking, when someone contemplates the "what if's", they're usually anticipating and worrying that something negative is going to happen. This isn't the only phrase where this happens.

A few weeks ago, I had the chance to see and meet one of my favorite spiritual teachers, Gabby Bernstein, live. She told a story, which she tells in many of her talks, about how her and her husband manifested their dream country home. It all began to unfold smoother for them when they asked each other "Wouldn't it be nice (fun)?"

But what if you're one of the more cynical types, the type that's new to this whole positive thinking and manifesting good stuff thing? Well, what I also learned from Gabby and one of her students, Darienne, who happens to also be one of my favorite spiritual teachers, is that WHATEVER you say, it has to feel good to you. It's something I've heard for years from Becky Devine as well who is a friend and spiritual teacher. So if you're filled with "woe is me" and only say "wouldn't it be nice" when comparing your life to others in a jealous way while truly believing you'll never have what it is you want, then you need to reach for something else that you believe.

Manifesting isn't always like flipping a light switch. The switching of vibrations can be quick, but don't get discouraged if it's not. This is where I have struggled in the past a lot. I was never okay with icky or "not okay" feelings. I would go into a frustrated meditation and then get MORE frustrated because I was resisting my frustration and only lower vibrational things manifested from that. The key is to climb the emotional vibration chart and get to the next one higher and so on and so on. Most of all, have fun in your day dreams!

Nobody Speaks for Everyone, Why Are You Offended?

I may get overwhelmed when Big Brother brings a lot of unnecessary drama my way and overall to people who don't deserve it but it has also finally brought to light 2 key issues that I have spoken about in recent years; we are all individuals and this world suffers a great lack of self love.

Nobody speaks for everybody. We are all individuals with our very own brains to think with and mouths to speak with, computers/phones to type with. If you're going to be offended by someone's opinion just because they have a big platform and, in your mind, that gives them power and means they're forcing their opinion on everyone, that's your problem, not theirs! Just because it's said on television doesn't mean it's being rammed down your throat or you have to think, feel and do the same. Everyone has a right to voice their opinions. You're wasting your time chasing down people who disagree with you because there's always going to be someone. They're just voicing THEIR opinions. Just because you disagree with something that somebody says or does, does not give you the right to TELL them they're 100% wrong or, in worse cases, threaten the person (like I was threatened yesterday and like Paulie and his family have been threatened all summer.) Everyone sees things differently and is entitled to their opinion and perspective. The beauty of this country especially is that we all have a right to our own opinion. I would like to think that, especially if you own a computer, are old enough to have social media accounts and/or can hold other adult conversations, that people would have the decency to respect each others' opinions. I can name big names with whom I've disagreed with their opinions and never once did I take the time to harass them, their family or meaninglessly argue with their fanbase. I follow and talk to the people I actually WANT to talk to. Do I have friendly banter with fans of different people? Sure, that's a whole other story! We should always want to gain and share knowledge but attacking someone is completely different.

Recently I was told that if I'm a fan of Paulie Calafiore from Big Brother that I need to "go learn to love myself." LMFAO! I admit that was funnier than being told yesterday that I should die or be full body paralyzed for being his fan, but you know what? I consider the source (I'll give you one guess whose fanbase said that to me.) Even if people I love and care about give me well meaning advice, I take THAT with a grain of salt and consider the source because all advice comes from the perspective and life of the individual projecting it onto others and in the end we are only responsible for ourselves. So to take advice from vile, disgusting people I don't even know that are spewing hate? Yeah, okay, not happening! I will continue to live my life, love myself as well as be a Paulie Calafiore fan and I'll probably do and say a million other things that someone will disagree with. But anyone is free to disagree with me and how I live my life. It just makes me sad for them that they must lack self love and their life isn't fulfilling enough that they need to find people to hate and attack instead of people to love, lift up and connect with. It makes me even more grateful for the connections I've made that DO love and support the same people as I do, Paulie mainly as of late.

Quit trying to tell everyone they're wrong or enlighten them of how they should feel. If someone is clearly missing facts to a story (as is often the case in Big Brother if you don't have the live feeds) by all means provide the facts via clips, not your projection or a portion of a clip that leaves out a chunk of important information. But be aware that the persons' perspective still might not change. As for Big Brother itself, just remember it's a freaking game! It's not as serious as everyone makes it out to be until it's taken low enough with the hateful, personal attacks actual allegation or spewed words within fanbases. This goes for everything in life though, especially politics in this time for the US. Many of us will disagree based on our place in life and what we're looking for but as long as we educate ourselves on all sides of an issue then we can't go wrong in our hearts and we don't have to listen to anyone else.

Push Past Paralysis: Physically, Mentally, Emotionally & Spiritually

Having grown up with the "disability" Spina Bifida, I've learned a lot about life that I may not have otherwise learned. Or maybe I would have, just not in the same ways. Nonetheless, my life so far has taught me valuable lessons and I've made it my mission to share them with everyone who crosses my path.

The biggest lesson I've learned and I feel I'm meant to teach others is that paralysis does not just affect the "disabled." It is not a one dimensional term. There are many different forms of paralysis. There is the physical, of course, but there is also mental, emotional and spiritual paralysis that will effect us all, at one point or another, throughout our lives. So I thought I'd write a quick summary of the ways in which each form of paralysis can affect us.

Physical Paralysis - This one is self explanatory. However, there are 2 different ways this can occur and it will affect the person differently in each way. You can either be born with paralysis or have been in some sort of accident or occurrence in your life that results in being physically paralyzed. One cannot relate to the other at first thought. I can't and won't claim to understand what it feels like to have had the ability to feel your entire body, walk or run freely and then have those abilities snatched away. On the flip side, having been born with paralysis from the knee down, I cannot miss what I've never had. Also, that time my friend rammed me into a wooden ramp and split my toe open, I was pretty thankful I couldn't feel it...but I digress. What both forms of physical paralysis can potentially have in common is gratitude. When you lack something, the easiest way to switch out of that low vibration and mindset is to be grateful for everything you do have. In the physical case, this can be every single body part that you can feel and move.

Mental Paralysis - Have you ever argued with yourself, talked to yourself, talked yourself into or out of something, created a mental pro and con list to the point where you just confuse yourself and create more fear and stagnation within yourself? We all have and mental paralysis can also be defined as negative self talk. Your fight or flight instinct can be hypersensitive as well with mental paralysis. It is the cause of indecisiveness and overthinking. Mental paralysis is also the loss of creativity and inspiration in the moment or looking toward the future.

*Mental paralysis, in the context that I'm using it, is NOT synonymous to a mental disability.*

Emotional Paralysis - Think about the most tragic or hardest time in your life. Chances are, you experienced emotional paralysis and may not have even known it. The simplest way to explain emotional paralysis is remaining "stoic". If you can't bring yourself to be too happy or too sad about anything or anyone. It is the cause of insecurity and fear that can affect your life for years after you experience the situation that caused it in the first place. In this state, you don't want to get your hopes up too often. In the case of sadness, it's often a good thing if you don't allow yourself to get in a deep depression or overly sad. PTSD is also an example of a form of emotional paralysis. Most people will sometimes shut off their emotions as a form of protecting themselves. That will only hurt you in the end. Emotions always have a way of coming out and will even stronger if they are suppressed for too long.

Spiritual Paralysis - This is probably the most common form of paralysis today. There is so much fear instilled in organized religion and SO many differing ones to choose to belong or not belong to. I don't think any are right or wrong, it's all in how they make you feel. Spiritual paralysis is a block to your intuition. It is when you feel that God, the universe or a higher power has abandoned you or simply does not exist. This is not necessarily the same thing as being an atheist. Those experiencing spiritual paralysis have already, previously believed in something and something happens in their life to cause them to doubt and question what they believe. It affects their life as a whole; every choice, decision and action...or lack thereof. So while some atheists can relate to this, if they previously believed in God, it is not always meant to describe them.

We will all experience some form of paralysis in our lives. We just adapt in how we deal with it. Please contact me if you feel I can be of any assistance in helping YOU "Push Past Paralysis!"

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