Do I Want To See Paulie Calafiore On The Next "Big Brother - All Stars"?

I've been thinking a lot about this since Big Brother 18 ended. Actually, I've been thinking about it since Paulie's eviction and I figured I'd finally talk about it since BB19 is going to start one week from today. People have asked me if I want to see Paulie Calafiore back for an all-star season, so I thought I'd blog my answer at this particular time. It's complicated, just like the rest of my long winded answers that will never fit in a 150 character tweet. 

Yes, is the short answer. But let me explain.

Paulie is a grown man. I trust him to make his own decisions for his future and his life with the utmost care and consideration. I trust his judgment, I'm positive he could handle it. So, with that being said, I know that if he makes the decision to ever return to the show, it will not be on a whim. The first time wasn't even on a whim, he knew what he'd face because Cody had been through it. Although, I'm sure nothing prepared him for a lot of what he's gone through since signing up for the show up to the present day. If he ever decided to do the show again, I'm sure it will be after extremely careful consideration (and a little competitive push.) 

I'm a ride or die. I support whatever the people I support want to do with their lives as long as they are happy. So, if the day comes where I'm watching Julie Chen tell Paulie to enter the Big Brother house again (and win), I will start the season off the way I wanted to start off BB18...proudly wearing the #TeamPaulie shirt that I now finally own!

I will be reposting this blog the second it is ever announced that Paulie will be on Big Brother again because I know haters will have all sorts of things to say, if and when that time comes. So it will be my pleasure to remind you that he's not an idiot and weighs his options carefully in life. It is, after all, his decision.

Northwell Health At Jones Beach Theatre: The Best Wheelchair Accessible Venue

Having been born with Spina Bifida, a disability that requires me to use a wheelchair, it baffles me sometimes that this world isn't universally designed for everyone. I guess maybe that's my mission to help make that happen. In the mean time, instead of complaining about all of the places that AREN'T exactly wheelchair accessible, I thought I'd shout out one place that is.

The first time I went to Jones Beach Theatre was in 2005 for a Backstreet Boys concert. I bought floor seats and they were far back, but the security brought me right up front. This past weekend, I attended KTUPHORIA there which is a concert for the radio station KTU. My seats were on the floor in a section further back but again security brought me right up front. This is the way it should be. People stand at concerts, how else are those of us in wheelchairs supposed to be able to see?

On top of it, upon arrival, I met a man who told me to ask for him once I was inside so he could bring me up front. As it turned out, every security person there was eager to help. I personally got to thank a group of them on my way out of the arena on Saturday night after the concert and promised I would write them up an amazing review. They truly deserve it.

I hope this blog reaches the right people. Anyone in a wheelchair looking for an arena that will go above and beyond to help them, anyone looking to compare arenas and inspire an arena near you to become more wheelchair accessible and every single person involved at Jones Beach Theatre in Wantagh, NY. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

How Is Your Shit Serving You?

i am a believer in the law of attraction. We definitely attract situations and people into our lives based on our own thoughts and feelings. So if you're thinking positive but your outside circumstances aren't changing...what's going on? 

What's happening is just that your current situation is serving you somehow and you may also have more lessons to learn in the situation. You may really think you just want things to get better, but the sucky situation may be serving you within. For instance, even if you want better for yourself, you may feel undeserving of better or you may not actually think you can live a better life. If that's the case, no matter what you try, nothing will change. You'll just continue to see proof that supports the fact that you feel undeserving. 

If we want to change our lives but we don't change our core beliefs and thoughts about ourselves and life, nothing will change. Sometimes these thoughts are so engrained that it takes soul searching work to get to the core of it all. But it is possible to truly let go of all the bullshit and live a much better life.

https://youtu.be/UBjt980fmPk

When Your Mother Loses Her Other Child

Today is Mother's Day. It's not a big deal in our house, much like any other holiday. We lost my dad in 2009 and my brother in 2015, so every holiday has its rough points. Today I find myself very reflective though. Blame the sinus infection or whatever, but I figured I'd ramble in a blog. I haven't done one in awhile anyway, so you're welcome.

I can't imagine losing a husband or a child and I for sure can't imagine what it's like to lose both. I did lose my father and brother, though. Sometimes, I feel like I lost my mother too. It's not anything abnormal or unnatural. As I said, I can't imagine most days what life is like for her. Of course part of her heart was going to go with them. 

Life will never be the same for any of us. I suppose you just get used to it eventually. There are more days than not where my mom will want to just be by herself. There are more days than not where I'm excited for the day and she's just not.

There's nothing I can do, really. I can't bring back my father or brother and I for sure can't fill their shoes and replace them. I try to sometimes and it leaves me depleted, trying and failing to achieve the unachievable. I have to honor myself and my own self care and allow her to feel the way she feels, even if a big part of me wants to try to make it better. Nothing will work. We are all our own people and need to do the hard work for ourselves. No family member, therapist or anyone else can do it for us. It's up to us and God.

A new friend of mine said something I've heard very often and then something that was very new to me. She said the second year is the hardest (my brother will be gone 2 years in August), but she also said that once year 3 starts, things begin to come together. God, I hope so! The years after my father passed away are still a whirlwind and a blur, so I don't even remember when the new "normal" started for us after his passing. 

There's still a lot of unknowns, as there always will be in life. But what I do know is this. Characteristics we have never truly leave us. We never become a completely different person. Different emotions are present under different circumstances and at different times in our lives. My mom was always the rock for all of us and it is my hope that she realizes what Lily Tomlin said on "Grace & Frankie"..."the old me is the best new me." She still has it in her to be that rock...for herself, for us and for all the grieving mothers out there, today and every day.

Hurt People, Hurt People

I know it's hard to remember, but when someone hurts you, it's because they're hurting inside. Doesn't mean you have to tolerate it, but it makes it easier to not take personally.  

https://youtu.be/QJVjFLFil-o

Sitting Doesn't Have To Kill You!

Study's show that sitting for 6 or more hours per day makes you 40% more likely to die within 15 years than someone who sits for less than three hours a day. 

For those of us in wheelchairs, that can be scary! Especially with our varying levels of mobility. Here is my take and some tips for you! 

https://youtu.be/Yb00dVC0XWQ

Please share this with someone who you think could benefit!

Women's History Month

I was just watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" and heard that March is "Women's History Month." Since I'm a woman, I figured I'd blog about it. Be warned, this may not be what you were expecting. Let's just start by saying that I identify with the parts I was given and chose upon coming into this lifetime. 

Growing up with a disability, I tend to live in the moment, always look for the positive and I'm always manifesting for the future. Even though, as I've grown up, I've encountered more and more trying or hard times, it's always just been a test of what I'm made of and putting what I've always believed into true practice. With that said, I don't look back, even in history unless it's JUST to look back with pride and not to rehash anything or even come close to insinuating that I or any other human being hasn't made strides, especially in the United States of America. 

I'm going to upset a lot of people when I say this, but I'm an individual. I have never been to a disabilities OR a women's march. I'm not knocking anyone who has attended, I've just chosen not to partake. It's also not that I don't hope that collectively this world becomes a better place for my kids and grandkids, etc. I just think we put so much pressure and control on our own shoulders that we lose sight of how far we've come as a collective and as individual people and just how much is in the hands of God and the universe.

We should always do our best and strive higher in life, but that takes on a whole new meaning to so many nowadays. If you constantly try to do better, you're going to lose sight of the present moment and you'll always look to do better and, in turn, never ever feel like you are enough or are doing enough. There will always be something you are better at then someone else and something you aren't as good at. Neither one makes you more or less of a person, let alone a woman. I think being proud of yourself, how far you have come and where you are now and being willing to be unique is completely underrated. I am NOT saying that women are second, but I believe men and women are equal. I can't say the same for so many women who choose to look at women as superior. 

I will end this by saying that we should all celebrate ourselves, our differences and accomplishments every single day. I don't think we need a month set aside and I don't think we constantly need to mention it in a social media post. It should shine through in our daily actions. 

Cures For The Winter Woes

I don't know about you, but if it's one thing I can't stand, it's the winter. I'm not much of a complainer, but if it's one thing that'll get me going, it's the cold and snow. I'm grumpy, I have less energy, my face snows with dry skin (well, my whole body...) and I just want to wake up on a tropical island with a Dairy Queen blizzard being the only blizzard in sight. I have a feeling I'm not alone in this, so I thought I'd write a blog with some tips on how we can get through the winter months and stay (somewhat) sane. Let's face it, having all our marbles in tact wouldn't be much fun, would it?

I'm not going to get into the origins of seasonal depression or fatigue. We know it exists. So what do we do about it? A rule of life in general can be used in this case, of course. What you resist, persists. That means, the more we resist how we feel, the stronger the feeling will get. Conversely, this too shall pass. So let yourself feel how you feel and know that it's not forever. Honor your mind, body and spirit and give it the rest it needs right now.

If you want to get out of any type of funk, the key is to do and strive for the opposite of what you're feeling. If you're tired, move around and be active. If you're angry or sad, curl up on the couch and watch a funny movie, listen to your favorite music or read a good book. Changing your thoughts helps a lot too. Visualization really does help with this. So, I wasn't kidding about that visualization tool!

As for practical tools, there are quite a few things you can do to get through the brutal winter months... 

*NOTE: I chose not to separate advice based on disabilities because even if snow blocking me outside in piles wasn't an issue, I'd still prefer to live without any snow at all.*

Stock up on hot beverages and foods like soup. The heat in the house may not be good for your allergies or sinuses and it may also make you feel more tired and depressed. So do what you can do keep yourself warm without turning the heat up! Tea will also help if you have bad sinuses and allergies in the winter. It beats taking a pill!

- Take vitamin D. If you're like me, you hate the cold and snow. Instead of moaning and groaning because I'm not out in the sun as much until spring (and until the day I have my dream house in a warmer climate), I make sure to drink lots of water and eat foods I know will boost my mood, as well as take a multivitamin. Vitamin D is especially important because that's what comes from sunlight.

- Exercise. Dance. Movement. Anything to keep your blood flowing and oxygen coming in.

- Keep that vibration up! Do things you know will make you happy; listen to uplifting music, watch your favorite funny movie, read a good book (none of the sappy stuff), do anything that will keep your thoughts happy and mood lifted. I learned a great tool from a spiritual healer of "cancel, cancel". Anytime you think or say something negative, cancel it and the universe will honor that. If all else fails, sage the house!

- Don't be too much of a hermit. Surround yourself with the people you love. Laugh and chat with them as often as possible!

- On the other hand, here's one for the empaths. We always have to be selective with whom we share our energy, so make sure you do extra grounding and protecting every day. Not only can the winter woes get you down, but so can the energy of others who are feeling the same. I still recommend hanging out with those you love, but remember to ground and protect yourself first!

- Do a visualization of being somewhere warmer. I can't promise you an "I Dream of Jeannie" transport, but it will warm you up!

Did it ever occur to you that this can also be an energetic thing? I wanted to wake up earlier in the new year but I've also decided to listen to my body and rest, even just mentally (meditation) when I need to. Winter doesn't have to suck. No day, week, month or year has to suck. You determine whether it does or not. Stop giving your power away to negativity by complaining.

Oh and by the way, it is my dream to live in a place without cold winters or snow. That's totally fine too. Just visualize and be excited about that coming instead of bitching about that annoying white stuff where your grass used to be or being unable to feel your toes. I haven't ever felt mine and my broken toes, cuts and bruises over the years are very thankful for that LOL. Sorry, paralysis joke!

The Barron Trump Autism Debate Needs To Stop!

*Disclaimer: Any negative comments on here or social media about our president in reply to this article will be deleted. This has nothing to do with him other than as a father.)*

Ok, Rosie O'Donnell, this conversation was started by you so let me (hopefully) end it. I was not going to touch it with a ten foot pole, simply because I believe that children should always be off limits, especially in politics. But I'm just going to say what I have to say, mostly about the speculation itself, and then I'm done. 

One thing we can all agree on is that Donald Trump has raised five beautiful, successful and incredible children. I know this first hand as I have met all of his adult children as well as the man himself. Melania and Barron weren't there, and this is precisely where I'm going with this blog. Barron Trump. 

Barron Trump Autistic? if so - what an amazing opportunity to bring attention to the AUTISM epidemic https://t.co/Acgy1Qxyqi via @YouTube

— Rosie (@Rosie) November 22, 2016

This was the tweet that started it all. Possibly well meaning but it sure created a fire storm. Since then, everyone has been whispering, hollering and tweeting or Facebook posting about whether or not 10 year old Barron Trump is autistic or has some other kind of special needs. My first thought was; anything is possible but have some respect, reach out to a representative to the family and show your concern in private, mother to mother. Simply for the fact that you know your tweet is going to reach some people who are going to be mean about the issue...and they were. Someone from SNL claimed he was going to turn into a school shooter. If, and ONLY if, it was 100% released FROM THE FAMILY that he had special needs, then speak out and try to get the family to speak about autism awareness. Melania and Donald have tried to keep Barron's life as private as possible because they know it will garner hate no matter what and they want to protect him, which brings me to my next point. 

The kid is 10 years old, clearly shy and maybe slightly socially awkward. Donald is an energetic and youthful 70 year old but Barron is going to exhibit the way his father stands, his facial expressions and some of his mannerisms. That's where I think all of this comes from. Barron seems more in his element the more we see of him. He has been seen smiling, laughing with his family and their security, all while talking his mothers' ear off at the parade and playing with his baby nephew while his father signed preliminary executive orders. 

Speculation isn't totally bad, especially from well meaning people (IE: people who would love the most important family in the country and/or world right now to highlight special needs as a key issue.) However, I just don't think Melania, especially, is asking for that or the hate her son is getting. She is very very protective of her son and it wouldn't surprise me one bit if she suddenly takes on her husband's personality for a moment and speaks out to everyone speculating on this issue. There will come a point where Mama Bear will have had enough, especially because for every one concerned person there will be at least two who choose to act in a less than sensitive way. 

Could Barron Trump have autism or some other special need? Sure, as I said, anything is possible. I just wish people would be more sensitive about the possibility given the privacy this family shouldn't have to ask for in regards to a ten year old. It should be common sense and common courtesy. That goes for ALL first families; past, present and future. Where has common courtesy and common sense gone in this world?

Other news article (not mine) about horrific things being said about Barron Trump:

http://dailyinfo.co/security-staff-frantic-after-what-just-happened-to-barron-trump-last-night-this-is-sick/

"Is OJ Innocent? The Missing Evidence"

There have been a few iconic court cases so far in my lifetime. One of those few that I paid very close attention to, even at the age of, was the O.J. Simpson trial. I remember coming home from school every day to my family watching it on television. At the time, we all thought he was innocent. 

Shortly after, we became ashamed of ourselves at how evident it was that he was guilty. Then we'd just start laughing at how long we felt he was innocent. There was no way he actually was, right? Not so fast...

A new show premiered last night, "Is O.J. Innocent? The Missing Evidence" on the Investigation Discovery channel. Admittedly, the sole initial reason I tuned in was because I'm a huge fan of Derrick Levasseur, a cop who is investigating the new evidence on the case. I've been a fan since he was on (and won) season 16 of "Big Brother" and wanted him to win because he's a cop. 

I went into watching the show completely believing O.J. is guilty. I didn't think I'd be convinced until the last episode, if at all, that he didn't kill Nicole and Ron. I was actually convinced on the very first episode that there may be more to the story. While I do believe there's a chance he did it, there's also the theory now that OJ may have taken the fall for Jason but it can easily be leaving Jason out to dry and an easy free target. Derrick, Bill and Kris concluded that there were 2 people but they can't conclude that the other was involved in the murder in any way, or that the other person even knew about what OJ was going to do.

If you ask me, it was Jason Simpson, OJ's son, with him that night. Too many people concluded that there was another person, someone wearing a hat Jason was known to own and wear, but stopped wearing after the murders. While I do think OJ committed the crime, too many people saw another person with him and someone even identified that person as Jason. I don't know how anyone can despute his involvement in some capacity. Especially after watching every episode of "Is O.J. Innocent: The Missing Evidence."

I Support Lamar Odom

I woke up yesterday assuming that "The Doctors" was on sometime in the afternoon. As you can imagine, I was so upset to find out that I'd missed (and forgot to DVR) the episode on Lamar Odom. I did find clips though, and regardless I was going to speak about it today anyway.

Many people have scrutinized Lamar for his relapses. While I don't believe that relapse is part of recovery, rather it is part of addiction, it does happen. As long as I see any living, breathing human being picking themselves up and fighting for their sobriety and their life another day, I'm proud and consider it a hopeful success. After all, I lost my brother to years of addiction and an ultimate suicide. So any attempt someone makes at getting help always gives me hope.

Others criticize Lamar for being so public with his journey and chalked his struggles and attempts at sobriety up to merely being publicity stunts. They feel it's the Kardashian effect rubbing off on him for the money he'd get doing interviews. I disagree. I am incredibly proud of Lamar. I believe it takes a tremendous amount of courage to admit to YOURSELF that you messed up and even more courage to get help for it and then come out to tell your story to one AA or NA meeting. Lamar has done all of that, plus shared his struggles and successes with millions of us, all the while knowing many would scrutinize him for it. 

In recovery, you must always pay it forward. I looked at Lamar's interview as doing just that. I was not only proud of him while watching. I was also proud of the one, two or one hundred people in the world watching the interview and deciding to start their own journey toward sobriety. You never know who you're inspiring when you share your struggles. 

Lamar, I along with millions of others am so proud of you and thankful that you trust and love your fans enough to want to lean on us for support. I'm also thankful for your raw truth and honesty that is no doubt relatable to someone out there watching and struggling with their own demons. I wish you nothing but health, happiness and love this and every year to come.

http://www.thedoctorstv.com/episodes/exclusive-lamar-odom-s-road-to-recovery

I'm a Huge Fan of Life!

I had this idea for a project I'm starting, but I wanted to touch on it in a blog post (and video, at the end of this blog). I'm a huge fan of life. Despite any challenges or obstacles I face, I love my life and life in general.

This also bleeds into entertainers of any kind that I love; singers, actors/actresses, reality stars, authors etc. I cannot support someone who doesn't have a life message which I connect with, outside of their craft. Fortunately for me, there are so many of them. 

I'm honored that I've gotten the opportunity already to interview some really amazing people for this project. I love to promote positive people and, in turn, promote and support whatever it is they're currently doing. 



Who would YOU like to see me interview and learn more about?!

https://youtu.be/80I_XZdu8Sc

Things I "Use" My Disability For

It has occurred to me that many people think I (and my fellow wheelies - I hate all the formal words so I made up my own) "use" my disability to get what I want. So I've compiled a list of things that I use my disability for. I hope you enjoy. 

I use my disability to inspire others. I never have to make any of my accomplishments or ventures public but I choose to because it makes me so sad to see so many people who don't believe in themselves and don't push themselves to do things they've only dreamed of doing! 

I use my disability to prove to myself that I can do more than I ever expected.

I use my disability to keep myself mentally and emotionally strong, pushing past any limits society or my inner voice have set.

I use my disability to remind myself to be grateful for all the things I can do and all the things I do have.

I use my disability because God doesn't make mistakes. 

I use my disability to remind myself that everything happens for a reason. 

I use my disability to shape my perspective on everything about life. 

I use my disability to love myself exactly as I am. 

I use my disability to remind myself and others that differences are beautiful and make the world go round. 

I use my disability to be grateful that if I stub my toe (which happens a lot), I won't feel it. One I'm sure is still broken and the other has no toe nail and when that happened, the room looked like a murder scene from a movie. Didn't feel a thing.

Then there's that time I was climbing stairs and hit a nail, carving open my entire foot. I laughed, my aunt almost passed out. Moving on...

So the next time someone tells you that you're using your disability, show them this blog. We all can only use what God gives us. Remember that. Most of all, use your ability to love yourself and others and laugh with each other. 

"You cannot change the cards you are dealt, just how you play the hand." - Randy Pausch