I'm Not Where I Want To Be Yet

I just had an epiphany and literally opened up my app to write. I was watching a YouTube video by one of the many inspirational people I follow and it just hit me. I've been very frustrated lately about not being where I want to be in life. It's the curse of turning 30. You analyze and criticize your choices and your place in life like CRAZY. I've been meditating and praying about it and I swear my prayers were answered in the form of this video by Angela Rockwood.

https://youtu.be/YgIfm-e_oYQ

If you're not where you want to be yet...that's GOOD. The day you have everything you want is the day you stop living and cease dreaming. You should never be fully satisfied. You should be content and grateful and even happy, yes. But you should ALWAYS be striving and dreaming big and pushing yourself to the next level. 

We limit ourselves so much by our contentment and our limitations. We place them on ourselves. No one can place a limitation on you, not even society, unless you take it from them and accept it as your own. I find that the more I desire, the more I grow past my current circumstances. 

I'm a control freak. I have an order in my head of how I want things to go because I feel inadequate in some areas. But I realize, now, that in the back of my mind I'm giving off the vibration of the LAST words I ever want to say: "I can't (until)...". If you know me at all, I try to never say the phrase "I can't." However, saying that I'm going to or want to do this before gives off the vibration and impression that I'm not going to do the other thing because I can't since the first thing hasn't happened yet. Does that make sense? It did in my head. 

Point being, I've decided to stop giving the Universe and God a time table. He laughs at our plans anyway. This is a big lesson for me on surrender. I have to let go and let God and spirit guide me. I've decided to go with the flow...at least a little more often.

Merry Christmas To All Those With Empty Seats At The Table

This year, more than ever, I'm feeling the loss of my father and brother. Christmas is in 2 days, as of the time I'm beginning to write this blog. I know they're here, but I'm still feeling their losses. 

It got me thinking about how many people are spending this Christmas with one or more empty seats at the table. Whether your loved one passed away, you aren't getting along or they're off fighting for our freedoms. Whatever the case may be, you're left behind to mourn their absence in some way and will see that empty seat at the table.

There is no simple answer. There is no secret. There is no dessert, no gift that will make up for the loss or replace the physical presence of our loved ones. All we can do is be grateful for the time we had with them and continue to make them proud today and every day. Especially at this time of year, when we can all believe in magic, we have to believe they see us when we're sleeping and know when we're awake. For those who have lost parents, they also know if we've been bad or good...so be good for goodness sake! Okay, I'm done! Admit it, that was funny. Don't be a Scrooge! 

Merry Christmas...even if you don't celebrate🎄🎁🎅 to those who are offended, Bah Humbug! 😂

The Universe IS Anxiety

You read that title correctly. Sometimes the universe is anxiety. Yes, that's a metaphor, not a simile. Forget the fancy schmancy terminology; vibration, law of attraction, manifestation. It is all true, don't get me wrong, but I think that because it is so unnatural to so many people, it feels more complicated than it should and not enough people end up willing to practice the principles.

Most of us aren't in a good head space when we venture into actively studying the universe. We may have been into it before but we begin to really delve deeper when we want some type of change to occur in our lives. So we reach out to a church or metaphysical text, YouTube videos and blogs. What we come upon is miles and hours long. We end up feeling even more discouraged and depleted because we feel it's going to take a lot longer to "fix it" than we thought it would. We become obsessed and depressed, feeling like we're never going to figure this thing called "life" out and that that is, somehow, a bad thing.

The secret is...there is no secret. None of us are ever going to completely figure life out. I love studying the universe, I really do. However, it really can get way too complicated. Getting so immersed in spirituality can get you stuck in your head, causing you to become your own worst enemy, like a person on trial being badgered by a prosecutor to the point where you admit to a crime you didn't even commit.
I know many spiritual teachers will tell you that it's going to feel worse for awhile while you peel back the layers, but sometimes I really do feel like we are creating a problem that wasn't even there in the first place. Which then proves the law of attraction right because even MORE bad shit starts happening then because that's our point of focus. That, my friends, is exactly what anxiety is. It's a vicious cycle. If these practices don't give you anxiety, great! There are times when therapy and peeling back layers of our deep seeded emotions is the key to our healing. But I know many people, myself sometimes included, who have felt worse at times when turning to the universal teachings and even church.

The same can be said about life in general. Everyone is obsessed with finding the hidden or deeper meaning to everything! There's still something to be said about being forthcoming, upfront, straight forward with no hidden agenda. We do and say the things we do and say because we want to. Period, end of story.

Life is really a lot simpler than we make it out to be. Do what makes you happy, be with who makes you happy and let the people who are important to you know just how much they mean to you. Think back to a time when you were at your happiest: What were you doing? What types of people were you surrounding yourself with? Go do that, even for just a few minutes a day on the phone with someone you always have a good time around.

Be natural. Let it come naturally. Anything forced will just create resistance to what's going on and more suppression to what you're feeling.

What Does Healing Mean to Me

I've grown up always resisting the word "healing." Personally, I feel that we all choose the lessons we want to learn and the life we want to live. Therefore, I've never wanted to be "healed" of my disability. I know I'm meant to learn things and meant to teach others a lot as well. Plus, who wants so many damn surgeries?! 


I firmly believe that we only need to heal emotionally, mentally and spiritually. The rest takes care of itself or begins to no longer matter anymore. If things keep going wrong for us and drama or chaos keep ensuing, it means we are off balance within, resisting our path and the universe/God is trying to nudge us back on track. 

So what do we do? How do we heal our mind and spirit when everything seems to be going wrong? We simply have faith and surrender. As a control freak and perfectionist, this was a hard lesson for me to learn, but I'm getting better at it! Of course, we always have to examine what we can change but it is so important that we adapt, go with the flow and trust that everything is happening as it should be!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ruj9ifkh-7E

Heroin Injection Facilities...Are You Kidding Me?!

I was watching "Tucker Tonight" last night and he had someone on talking about heroin injection facilities. That immediately caught my attention because my brother was an addict for years before committing suicide last year. As you can imagine, THIS news makes me SICK!

I don't understand it. I mean, it's one of those situations where I want to channel Estelle Getty, Sophia Petrillo from "The Golden Girls", and say "your heart is in the right place, but I don't know where the hell your brain is!" I understand this will significantly crack down on the occurrences of HIV, hepatitis and the like but people are going to probably die from the heroin if they don't stop using it. I also understand that addiction is not easy to "cure", as there is no cure right now. If it were easy, we wouldn't have overdoses, suicides, relapses or people on waiting lists for help at rehab facilities that currently have no room for them. However, surely there has to be another idea we can collectively come up with besides glorifying using and making it seem okay to do.

Tucker Carlson put it perfectly. If you're going to invest money on a drug program, why not make it something that will discourage its use and attempt to stop the epidemic, not try to normalize or encourage it and make it okay? They say the heroin injection facilities are for people to have a safe place to do it but, um, it's not a safe thing to do no matter which way you look at it! Time, money and energy would be better spent on bettering the rehab facilities, outpatient and transitional care for the people who want substantial help and can't get it, as well as even help for the families and friends of the addict. There are so many people without adequate health care to receive extended, quality care. Some people can't even stay a full 30 days in any facility because their healthcare won't cover it. 

There is so much wrong with our system in so many areas, but in regards to addiction it is a mess and I can attest to that. I saw the lengths my brother had to go and hoops he had to climb through to get any sort of help. I also saw the discouragement he felt and how, at times, it felt easier to just use. I don't want another person to go through that or another family to lose someone because their loved one felt that way. 

Fortunately, I do have friends who have a foundation that is designed to help addicts who want to get clean and sober but don't have the financial means to do so. Visit them for more information and/or to donate at http://nowmattersmore.org 

There's Always Something to Be Thankful For

Sometimes I feel guilty for remaining so positive. Sometimes I feel like I'm "supposed" to be more upset about some things that happen in life than I actually am. That's not to say I don't allow horrible situations to affect me, but I tend to bounce back and look at the positive or the big picture. Sometimes I feel like maybe I'm bottling it up and it's going to hit me like a ton of bricks one day. But maybe, just maybe, I'm focusing my energy and my mind where it needs to be...Gratitude.

This past year and a half hasn't been the easiest for myself, my family and many others. Actually, life has had its share of ups and downs since my dad passed away in 2009. However, I'm still here which means I have two choices; exist and be miserable or live and be happy! It's not always an easy choice to make. Sometimes I'm filled with guilt if I'm too happy on some days. During those times I remind myself that my dad and my brother (who passed away last year) would not want me to live miserably. So I make it a point to love something about every single day.

Since this is a public blog, I'm going to skip the generic list of answers that include everything I've been grateful for for the past 30 years. This year, I'm especially grateful for the experiences I've had and the people I've met. In an attempt not to make this extremely long, I'll say this; it is not nearly enough to send all of my love and gratitude to Paulie, Linda, Paul, Aunt Caren, Angelina and Cody Calafiore. I feel beyond blessed that God and the universe has allowed me to cross paths with you and I will never take it for granted. I love you all. I'm also thankful for the friends I've made this year and even the haters for clicking my blogs. Without knowing it, you helped my read count go up and for that, I'm grateful and truly touched that you took the time to do that (trying not to let on that I'm being sarcastic in a nice blog.)

Gratitude truly is one of the biggest keys to a happy life. If you're grateful, you'll receive more to be grateful for and be able to spread that to others. However, the same can be said for bitterness, so you need to choose wisely. Happy Thanksgiving to all!

The Government is an Enabler to Mental Imprisonment

I am one of the rare finds in the "disabled community." What I mean by that is, I hate my disability check. Yes, you read that right. Let me explain why.

I'm a registered independent. I was a registered democrat when I worked my seasonal job, but a registered republican before that. Now I'm an independent who leans republican when I vote. Why? I'm for small government. I realize that this goes against what most believe in the disabled community. Many have expressed that to me. However, I don't think the way I think because I happened to be born with a disability. I just think like a person. I want to LIVE like a HUMAN BEING.

I'll never forget when my dad was sick with leukemia before ultimately passing away. I was working a 9-5 at the time, and thought I would work a ton of O/T so that he didn't have to work as much, especially on the days after chemo. He'd still insist on driving about a half hour to pick me up, but I digress. I get my stubbornness from him AND mom. Anyway, this went on for awhile, until a few weeks later when my disability check didn't come. Apparently, they felt they could decide I'd worked too much, meanwhile it wasn't near equal to what my disability check was. They take you off once you make a certain amount.

This began a cycle of me starting my own business, which had been a dream of mine, and that fear would (and still sometimes does) always creep in of "what happens when I start making X amount?" This is the sole (or should I say "soul") reason I haven't been making money in my business. Unconsciously, I've developed a poverty mindset, which was the goal of the government all along. They support victimhood, reliance on them and fear. You're easier to control that way.

This often ends up affecting your entire psyche if you're not careful. That's how you know it's all a mind game with the government. Sooner or later, you'll feel fear and doubt about other areas of your life. It becomes a nasty cycle that you CAN regain control of and stop.

So yes, I can't wait until my business flourishes and I don't NEED that check from the government. I am opening myself up to all of the abundance and lives to touch that God and the universe has for me. It's not the governments job to do that for me or to tell me what that is!

Happy Birthday Paulie

I believe in giving someone meaningful gifts. Generic gifts that aren't going to mean anything to the person is just not my thing. So what better present from me (besides the shirt) for Paulie Calafiore's birthday than a blog about why I appreciate him?

In life, many people just aren't as genuine as they used to be anymore. Everyone is always looking out for themselves, taking, needing praise but never truly appreciating it from a place that's not ego centered. That is the polar opposite of Paulie. He puts a positive spin to everything, including the Maya Angelou quote: "When people show you who they are... believe them."

I've met a lot of "well known" people in my life. It comes with living just a short train ride from NYC. Most were nice enough, many were extremely nice and there were a few who thought their shit smelled like roses. I've never met someone who has gone so above and beyond for me and everyone he meets the way Paulie has. The meet & greet was an amazing experience and it didn't stop there. I asked him that night (10/8) if he'd want to work out with someone in a wheelchair and just 3 days later (10/11) I was in his gym with him in NJ.

I know I've said it in my blog about my day at SWEAT working out with Paulie and meeting him at his homecoming party, but to be pushed and encouraged the way he did when he trained me and his extremely heartfelt gratitude toward me at his homecoming party for basically doing nothing, only supporting him like I would have anyway, really meant a lot to me. 

I'm a strong person. Sometimes, I'm too strong. I usually brush off compliments and gratitude. I never ask for help. I guess I feel like I have something to prove because a lot of people just stereotype and assume you need help with everything when you're in a wheelchair. I encourage myself and never ask for it of someone else. When I get any of the things I mentioned, I'm always listening for the undertone of condescension, as if people think I can't do it for myself. With Paulie, he's genuine and means everything he says in the most heartfelt way (except, ya know, in the Big Brother house when he had to lie LMFAO.) He brings out the best in everyone just by exuding positive and loving energy for life and for everyone around him. He exemplifies selflessness and shows that by doing for others, it only adds to our own lives. He pushes you to be better through his own passion and determination. He has done that for me every time I'm in his presence and I've watched others' faces light up in the same ways.  

People have said that the videos of me working out with Paulie sound familiar to their physical therapy and training. Believe me, I've been through more PT than I can count and to gyms long term before. I've never been trained so relentlessly but encouragingly before. His passion for fitness and life and his genuine heart shown through the entire time.

Happy birthday, Paulie. I hope you have the best day filled with nothing but love! You deserve it! I had this idea to create a video of the encouragement and push you gave me when you trained me at SWEAT. I laughed when I went through the video to find highlights. The entire video is 8:30 long and this highlight video is 4:30 long. That goes to show just how much encouragement you get from someone with a heart of gold, determination, drive and optimism like no other. And that isn't even close to half of our time together! That, in itself, is a testament to the amazing person you are.  

To Paul and Linda, thank you for raising such an incredible son (and another amazing son and daughter too).

Thanks to Mo (Zauliebaby) for condensing the highlights of the original video for me! 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B3865h9f8Ny2bV96SWFzZU1KRE0/view?usp=sharing

My Thoughts on Election 2016

Today is November 9th and we have a new president, Donald Trump. I have many thoughts on this, so I hope you keep an open mind and read what I have to say. I know many people are upset and scared. I'm going to go through the issues and hopeful maybe calm some fears.

Donald has been right on policies for 30 years that both sides got wrong. He was invited to those meetings for a reason. He's said the same things for years, not because he's a broken record, but because we still have the same issues that no one is doing anything about yet. He has the opportunity to do so now. He was speaking about issues most important to the American people; jobs and national security being top of the list. Through some lows in his businesses, he has shown what can still happen, even when the odds are stacked against you and that is admirable to me. He's suffered setbacks like all businessmen and rebuilt.

If you think about it and listen closely to what Donald has said, he's the most anti war candidate we've had on the republican side in awhile. He wants to negotiate and make good deals before going into any wars we can't afford. He's negotiated with people and created jobs all of his life. He's not going to just up and make irrational decisions. He's criticized Obama for his excessive use of executive order, I highly doubt he will do the same. He will rely on his cabinet for a lot, which isn't a weakness. It is the way our government is meant to be run.

No one thought badly of Donald until he ran for office as a republican. Look at old pictures of him. People of all different ethnicities used to flock to him. Then he became public enemy number one. He is not responsible for the racist, bigoted things SOME of his supporters have said. And not all of us have said it or believe it at all. On the other hand, it's been proven that people have been paid to say and do things to him and his supporters at rallies. He's said questionable things, but I trust actions over words and would rather hear too much than too little. Being against Illegal immigration isn't racist. Stop categorizing by race, especially when legal status has everything to do with taxes and nothing to do with race. Illegal immigration is a color blind issue. If you're here legally, I don't know why you're freaking out. I have friends who came here legally and are downright insulted over the influx of illegal immigrants and all they've been able to mooch out of this country. I also know quite a few gays who have decided that the issues this country faces is what's most important to them. As for race, 2 of Trump's biggest supports are black women. They have been making videos of their support from the very beginning and it wasn't just for show. They never expected to grow so popular, popular enough to have him Trump reach out to them. They speak about us coming together as Americans and members of the HUMAN race. 

I supported Herman Cain when he ran in the primaries a few elections ago. He is a black conservative, but more importantly he is a business man like Donald Trump. That is the mentality we need for our economy. He even had accusations of sexual assault thrown at him too, but it was upsetting his family so he dropped out. Coincidentally, the charges were dropped right after. Mission accomplished to his Nay Sayers. Trump's sexual assault cases were dropped and it's just funny to me how the women accused him in the 11th hour, when people just started to believe he could actually become president. I listened to the infamous hot mic tape and, to me, "they let you do whatever" implies consent. With that being said, no one complained about Bill's ACTIONS in the actual Oval Office because we had a surplus in our economy, but they'll complain about a crude comment Trump made, hanging with the guys, way before running for public office.

Let me be clear. You may not know this, but I was never a fan of Donald Trump before he ran for president. I thought he was overrated and egotistical. I've since met him and his family and they all could not be more gracious and down to earth. Whether you like him or not, Donald Trump's campaign is admirable. He was the epitome of; "First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win" from Mahatma Gandhi. I truly do believe he can and will help us out. If you still hate him, just try to think of it this way. Would his ego REALLY let him fail? The world is watching. Think about that for a minute.

To my family and friends and to the family and friends of those I know. I'm talking to those of you who have gotten upset at us for being behind Trump, some of whom you've even refused to speak to now. Our support for him is not disloyalty to you. It is merely choosing other issues that are of importance to us. I voted based on the economy, jobs and national security. My choice is based on limited government. I don't want the government to dictate personal or social issues in my life, period. If they have to, give it to the states and not the federal government. Voting based on gender and to make history is ignorant, if you ask me. I know many people of different ethnicities and sexual orientations who feel the same and did, indeed, vote for Donald Trump.

My hope is that we give him a chance as a nation. He earned that by a majority of our votes. I hope he exceeds all of the expectations of those living in fear now. Just remember, you don't have to like a brain surgeon's personality, as long as he gets the job done. It is your right as an American not to like him. But think back to when so many were skeptical about a community organizer running for president and ultimately winning. We gave him a chance...twice. My hope is that Donald remembers he works for us and brings our country to a place of being as prosperous and well respected as we once were.

One last question. Can I still call him The Donald? Cuz I am.

This Is 30

The title for this blog is a spin off of the movie "This Is 40". Today is my 30th birthday and, I admit it, I feel old. I know it will pass, but this is the first birthday in a long time where I've felt old. 

I'm not going through a midlife crisis and I'm not depressed. However, assessing where I've been, where I am and where I'm going is pretty weird today. Life happens and rarely as we expect it to, so it's not unusual that things I've expected to happen, haven't...yet.  

What people may not know is that I'm sometimes as hard on myself as I am on my loved ones and clients. I'm definitely not where I wanted or expected to be by the time I turned 30. I like to be a few steps ahead and know where I'm going, and God forbid anything throws me off. Just ask anyone who knows me. I start planning in advance and must be everywhere early. I also plan how things are going to go in my head. That's a visualization and law of attraction thing for another blog. It works, mostly, but I digress. Life has, of course, been unpredictable and thrown me many curve balls. 

All of that said, I have faith and optimism. I know I'm where I'm meant to be right now and look forward to where I'm going. That's the biggest key in life. Looking forward to what's to come and always believing that the best IS still yet to come. 

Now I have to go color a few grey hairs with mascara. At least I'm ahead of the game with a wheelchair. 

What Happened Last Night?!

"What happened last night?' is definitely not a question I asked myself today! Last night is something I will never forget! I had the honor of attending the movie premiere of a movie by the same name, directed by Candice Cain, at Soundview Cinema in Port Washington, NY. It was definitely a great way to end my 20's, as my 30th birthday is in 2 days!

The movie was absolutely hysterical! I was laughing the entire time. The 2 cast members who stole the show in my eyes were Diana Durango and Cody Calafiore, although the entire cast, which also includes Austin Davis, was really on their A game! I'm not much of a movie goer, so had I not wanted to attend this premiere because of Cody already (and Paulie. What, didn't think I'd mention him? Right...), I would have definitely made sure to look it up if and when it hit television or even Netflix.

There was also a short party before and the cast hung around after. Everyone was so friendly and engaging. Candice was beaming the entire time, not letting an unfortunate foot injury get her down! She and the entire cast seem so grateful for the support and should be extremely proud of this movie! I'm sure it's already on its way to being a big hit!

Special thanks goes out to my Calafiore boys, Paulie and Cody, as well as to Zakiyah for the love last night. I love you all and you always give the love right back! I'm having FOMO tonight not being in Howell!

See "What Happened Last Night?" in a theatre near you!

http://whlnmovie.com/theaters/

Rise Up! Spread Love & Positivity! End Cyber Bullying!

As all of you know by now, unless you just so happen to find this link randomly and have no clue who I am or where you are, I am a Big Brother fan. On season 18, my favorite houseguest (& favorite of all 18 seasons overall) is Paulie Calafiore. I was a fan of Paulie's before and continue to support everything he is a part of. He's an incredible person who has done so much for me, so it really is the least I can do to help him in such an important movement and cause.

Bullying and cyber bullying is very serious and very real. I feel just as guilty ignoring it as I would if I was a participant. So I'm doing my part, rising up, donating and asking all of you to give Paulie the ONLY birthday gift he really wants. The opportunity to come together, spread love and to end cyber bullying once and for all.

STATS as of 2016:

-          45% of young people experience bullying before the age of 18 (8).

-          36%  of young people aged 8 to 22 are worried about being bullied at school, college or university (10).

-          38% believe their school, university or college doesn’t take bullying seriously (10).


Startling statistics on cyber bullying and suicide among youth and teens:

http://cyberbullying.org/cyberbullying_and_suicide_research_fact_sheet.pdf

Your donation will do the following:

• $3 will enable us to offer emergency support to a desperate helpline caller
• $20 will fund a 50 minute counseling session for a victim of cyberbullying
• $150 will allow us to train one Cybersmile volunteer to help others online

Please make a donation to help END cyber bullying at:

http://www.theriseup.org/

Furthermore, up until Paulie's birthday, November 13th at 11:59, I am taking appointments for life coaching & will be donating 50% of my fees for every appointment to this cause. Your appointments don't have to be before the 13th, but you must make the appointment before then! For more info on this, go to the following link:

http://www.marissameleske.bigcartel.com

Choose Your Words Wisely, Not Loosely

Over the summer when I was blogging about Big Brother, I said something that I'm pretty sure I glossed over and didn't exactly expand on. Based on recent events on social media, I thought I would do just that today.

Social media is great in many ways and horrible in others. It connects us, forms friendships and business relationships. However, it also breads so much hatred and divide. If you really think about it though, it just brings out to light what already exists within a person. The computer or phone doesn't type for itself. We do it ourselves, or Siri does it for us and we can't even blame her because we tell her what to type.

My biggest problem with social media is the preaching and insistence on bringing light to social issues. I understand that social media is a great platform for it, but many people take it too far and exaggerate, using it as an excuse to bully the person they feel bullied by just because the person said something they didn't like. It goes from admirable to petty in seconds flat when that happens. It undermines anyone who has actually been through it or is still going through it.

Please don't get me wrong. I understand that people can be triggered by certain things. However, let's use Big Brother as an example. If you have actually been emotionally or verbally abused, lied to, manipulated, controlled or anything of the like in your real life, Big Brother has never been the show for you in all of its 18 seasons so far. The whole premise of the show is to lie, cheat and steal your way to $500,000. So I'm sorry, you can't blame any houseguest for playing the game they came to win and you chose to watch. That decision was all yours. It's also your responsibility to realize it's actually a game and not look down on people who look past it or those who come to the defense of their family member or friend from the game when they're attacked.

Many people just choose to hate and that is something I'll never understand. Frankly, I don't want to because the second I begin to understand it, I'm just as bad as the person spewing such hate. You'll never get through to anyone who is unable to properly process your message. So what do you do? Follow the people and things you're passionate about. Block and ignore the hate. Rise above. And most of all, I'll leave the last word to someone who always spreads love and wisdom wherever he goes....

You're Making It Worse!

People love a good pity party these days. That's never been me. I don't feel sorry for myself and hate when anyone feels sorry for me, even over the littlest thing. 

I get it. We don't really want to scream with excitement when it seems like everything is going wrong. But really think about it for a second. Have you ever had one of those days where ONE thing goes wrong and the entire day turns to shit? Think about how you reacted to the one thing. Did you scoff? Maybe say something along the lines of "What else can go wrong? Today is just not my day!" Well, that's exactly why your day kept getting worse! 

People hate hearing that, I know. God forbid we ever admit that we caused a problem or made it worse by how we reacted to it. Did we try to solve it or play the victim? Did we take a deep breath and think "this too shall pass"? A better attitude won't solve all of our problems, but it will help us face them when they happen.

Our attitudes, reactions and vibrations to life's ups and downs is what gives us more of the same. If you want a better day, have a better attitude. Life can be hard enough. Don't make it worse for yourself. 

What "Push Past Paralysis" Really Means

When I'm talking about my motto "Push Past Paralysis" I seem to come across many people who are very unhappy, they hate their life and resent their circumstances. They think that they're going to get the answer they've been waiting for from me or even a miracle and when they don't, they get upset or feel that they were justified in believing there's no hope. 

That's just not what "Push Past Paralysis" means to me...

"Push Past Paralysis" really means to push yourself past your perceived limits. In life, there really are no limits other than the ones we put on ourselves or that we allow others to place upon us. We don't have to be in a different situation in order to reach our goals and potential in life and we don't have to shrink those goals down because we feel we are limited in some way. I'll never forget (even though it's only been about over a week) when I worked out with Paulie Calafiore and that was his first question. He wanted to know what I could do and what my limitations were. I told him we'd find out and just tell me what to do because he's the gym owning expert (PS never say that to your trainer in the gym if you don't want to die LMAO.) I meet everything in life that way. I have no preconceived notions of my potential. I'm well aware and proud of the fact that I haven't reached it and will continue to keep striving for it because there are no limits to anyone's potential. Even if I'm clearly struggling with something, I'll never say I can't do it and I try to encourage everyone I encounter to do the same.

"Push Past Paralysis" is breaking free from stagnation and comfort zones. It's getting out of your own head and finding your inner strength. It's realizing that you can do and be anything you want to be and YOU are the only thing standing or sitting in your way. When I say paralysis is imagined, I don't actually mean that you're going to suddenly feel a body part you haven't felt. I just mean that if you stop identifying with this limited version of yourself, you'll reach the potential you were meant to reach.

I always say that God doesn't make mistakes. It is never a mistake for someone to be born the way they are or even get their abilities seemingly taken away at one point in their life. A life lesson is never a punishment, limitation or obstacle. Life is ALWAYS a gift. It's just up to you to see it that way. 

If you would like to delve more into this 1 on 1, click the link below!

http://www.marissameleske.bigcartel.com/

End The Hypocrisy, Hate & Shade in the Big Brother Fandom

After the drama I went through recently and seen others go through, I figured I'd do what I started to do during the summer...blog my thoughts that won't fit into an 150 character tweet and will address whomever needs or wants to read it. It's been an interesting few weeks, to say the least. I haven't felt like blogging lately, because I didn't want to see or pay attention to drama, but here is my attempt at calming it.

I have noticed over the summer of 2016 that the Big Brother fandom is by far the nastiest I've ever been involved in. I've blocked more people over the summer than in all of my years of being on social media. As I've said in another blog, I'll never let it waiver my support. However, people are flat out mean to each other, to the houseguests and to their families. Even now and the show is over! It's like, can't we all just get along?!

I've never actually been part of the fandom of Big Brother before until recently and I can tell you that's probably not going to last. I'll watch, but not engage much on social media during the show. I've been a fan since the show first started, but only recently started to follow people on social media with the common interest of similar favorite houseguests, etc. I also just started following the feeds this past summer because so many people have uploaded videos or tweeted out updates, so I could keep up without having to actually buy the feeds and spend every waking moment watching them in order to only keep up with the people I cared to watch.

I can understand not liking another houseguest that your favorite didn't or doesn't get along with. I just don't understand how when I point out my favorites' strong points, it's taken as insulting someone else that they're actually close with but when others talk about their favorite and flat out hate on mine, that's supposed to be okay. I don't see anything wrong with being happy that someone is going to show up to a homecoming party. Sure, there will be fans who solely go to see the person the party is for, just like I did with Paulie's, but it doesn't mean those same fans won't be happy to see the special guests too, just like I was. Would I have still shown up had it only been Paulie? Yes, just like I'm sure fans of other people would show up if it was just their favorite at their own homecoming party. But having others there helps and that's just the way it is. There were people who showed up just to see Cody, Zakiyah or Frankie at Paulie's party. I don't understand why that was okay for people to say about Paulie's and not okay for someone else. When I said I hope Paulie gets most of the love at his own homecoming party, people exploded and now it's not supposed to be acknowledged that Paulie would be at some. The double standards and hypocrisy just kill me.

I'm not for this whole separation type thing (yes, I did that on purpose - take a drink.) I'm very happy that Zaulie are together and clearly in love. Why are we splitting amongst ourselves in our support? Let's not forget I was one of the first people who just knew Zaulie would work out and that they have legitimate feelings for each other when EVERYONE was doubting one (*cough* Paulie) or both of them and wondering if their feelings were just game. People thought I was crazy! So I am absolutely not shading anyone if I just happen to mention in a tweet about how cool it is for fans that Paulie would be going to the NC and Canada Meet N Greets and events. Believe me, they all know joint events will bring people together for the events because so many do wish them well in their relationships, friendships and individual endeavors. Do we really want to give the haters more ammo by hating on the people who actually support the same people we support?

Some of the people in this fandom are also making me raise an eyebrow. They are now sucking up to the people they hated and threw shade at all summer long. There's a difference between seeing the light on a houseguest versus acting like you've loved them all along, when you did nothing but hate. However, I guess any love is good love. It is always better than hate. I've already seen many people flip back a couple times over absolutely nothing and it's not fair. Either you're giving them a chance or you're not. It's not your relationship, friendship or life anyway.

Don't get me wrong, I've met some amazing people through watching Big Brother. However, I connected on many levels with the few friends I've made through watching the show. If we haven't talked on a personal level, chances are we're just acquaintances because of our common interest in the show, which is cool too. This drama is not worth sacrificing anyone's sanity. It's just like real life. I don't live to be liked by anyone. You like me and want to be friends? Cool. You don't? That's cool too. Big Brother isn't as serious as people make it out to be and I wish people would just chill out.

It's not all bad. I've met friends over the summer whom I hope to have in my life for a very long time, if not forever. Some people are just very extra. There's also a ton of paranoia. Rule of thumb in life: if you haven't done anything I've said, I'm obviously not talking about you. It honestly makes me wonder if there's a little guilt there when someone acts so offended by something I've said.

The point of this now very long blog is to say, let's take a page out of Paulie and Zakiyah's book, but now amongst each other, by spreading love and positivity, not hate and negativity. I'm very proud of how many of us, myself included, have been slowly learning to not engage with the trolls. Next, let's stop treating each other as trolls, calm the hell down and stay in our happy lanes! There is so much to be happy about in the world of Zaulie and Paulie and Zakiyah individually, let alone things I'm sure we are all experiencing in our actual lives. If we concentrate on that, we will bring about more of it. It's some law of attraction type thing. Try it. Don't make me create a meditation where we all sing kumbaya and imagine ourselves holding hands. Breathe!

The Only Fitness Tip That Matters

Ever since I worked out with Paulie Calafiore as my trainer at his gym "Sweat" one week ago, I think I'm kind of an expert on fitness now. I know it all. So you should stop what you're doing and listen to me. No, I'm kidding, but I do have a tip. I've read so many blogs and watched so many videos on the biggest tips to reach your fitness goals. They're all wrong, in my opinion, because I've never heard this one mentioned. At least not as anything other than an afterthought, but it should be the main tip.

This is as much of a life tip as it is a fitness tip. Omitting this or making your fitness routines more complex and complicated than this is what causes diets and exercise routines to fizzle and fall flat, causing a hamster wheel effect and preventing you from ever reaching your goal. The biggest tip to achieving your fitness (or life) goals is to HAVE FUN! Get out of your head, don't think about it so much and just do it. If you think about it too much, you'll talk yourself right out of doing it.  Endorphins only kick in after you've already begun to work out, so you need to actually look forward to it, not dread it, in order to even start. Then, and only then, can you get down to specifics relative to you and your health.

For those of you who are about to give me the "but exercise isn't fun" BS, save it. There has to be something you can do that will keep you active and help you get fit, while also being a lot of fun for you. I mean, look at me. I live over 2 hours away from my favorite gym and favorite (only) trainer. While I always have fun working out, nothing will be as fun as my time at SWEAT. It was motivating, entertaining, high energy and hard work. So, until I go back, I'm going with it, taking what I've learned and having fun.

Nothing is 100% fun all the time and we all have different definitions of what's fun for us. That's up to you to decide. You may have to change up your routine and have multiple ways in which you work out so you don't get bored. You don't want your routine to become...routine.

I promise that's a smile, not a grimace and the shirt says Team Paulie. You better believe, if it did say Team Paul, it would be Paulie's father and not some other Paul. 👀

To read about & watch a video of my experience training with Paulie at SWEAT, click here:

http://marissameleske.blogspot.com/2016/10/push-past-paralysis-with-paulie.html

Focus On & Spread Love, Not Hate

It's my belief that our energy comes from 2 places; love or hate. In some circumstances, it can just be known as positive or negative, but the vibrations and emotions I'm talking about are love and hate. All others simply stem from these emotions.

We choose where we give our energy and what or who we react to, which leads to the results we get in our lives. We are always, even if indirectly, responsible for where our energy is going and what we are getting back. What goes around comes around, as they say!

Even the slightest thing can throw our energy off, especially those of us who are empaths. It doesn't have to be anything consistent or catastrophic. One of the things I've had to really, deliberately examine my energy around in life is my reality shows. Yes, you can laugh...

I've watched Big Brother every summer since it premiered. This past season was by far my favorite, but it didn't come without its fair share of drama. It was the first time I've felt compelled to blog about the show because there was SO much negativity surrounding my favorite houseguest, Paulie Calafiore, and also Zakiyah Everette.

I have always known that people on television are never 100% themselves, even on a reality show and especially one that is based off of lies, betrayal, deceit, conniving and manipulation. Knowing this beforehand prevents me from getting upset every time I see it happen. That, unfortunately, was not the case for many people. Instead, people got wrapped up in what they saw. They worried too much over hurt feelings and that resulted in slinging hate toward people in the house that they feel wronged their favorite houseguest, all of whom they've never met, mainly Paulie, and the hate even extended toward his family. This compelled me to blog more consistently, the more upset I got over the hate. Instead of reacting (with the exception of a few slip ups), I jus responded with a blog showing love for my favorite player. Okay, so maybe I'm long winded and 150 character tweets just wouldn't cut it...but I digress.

Paulie had so many haters this past season and, to me, it was unwarranted. He was playing a great game and it just didn't fit into "The Notebook" type show that people must have been expecting when they flipped the channel to CBS or turned on the live feeds and saw Zaulie one minute, then Paulie playing the game the next. If you wanted "The Notebook" what on earth possessed you to turn on CBS and watch "Big Brother"? You need a thick skin to be on or watch that show. There's really no point in getting so upset over something someone does under the circumstances in that house. You had 14 other houseguests to choose from, to love and support. You also don't have to tear down one person in order to support another. Especially now, when the show is over. Why bother sticking your nose where it doesn't belong, hating someone or insulting 2 people for choosing to leave a game behind them and be in each other's lives? Is it that hard to admit, no matter who your favorite was, that you were wrong and all the perceived bad was just a part of the game? If you never liked Paulie, you should care even less. Stop wasting your own precious time.

Why is this world so obsessed with hating on someone or complaining about something? We, as a society, have become addicted to negativity. Luckily, it only takes 21 days to create a new habit. I highly suggest trying positivity for a change.  It will definitely change your energy and outlook on life. There are more important things to worry about and obsess over other than someone else's life, that's for sure. Try being obsessed with being happy, positive and spreading love.

Push Past Paralysis with Paulie

My 2 worlds have collided; Fitness and Big Brother. Honestly though, this experience was about so much more. I almost can't even find the words. That's been happening a lot to me since Saturday. It's concerning because me and speechless are not usually synonymous...but I digress.

I almost called this blog "What Does Paulie Calafiore Have to Do to Make Me Hate Him?" Part 2. The short answer is, there is absolutely nothing he can do that would make that happen and Tuesday, October 11, 2016 reaffirmed that after almost getting murdered by a work out in his gym with him LOL. Every experience I have had with Paulie, and, okay, there's "only" been 2, has reaffirmed what I have just known in my heart about him from day 1. He is one of the most down to earth, hard working, funny, motivating and inspiring people I have ever been blessed to meet. Having met his parents, brother, sister and aunt (who is battling cancer - please send prayers) at his homecoming party, I can tell you that's where he gets it from. He was raised to be an incredible individual. He's also the biggest dork that you can't help but have fun and smile around. A person's energy is everything. The more I see of him outside the Big Brother house, not only does it reaffirm what I knew to be true, but it really upsets me that he's getting so much undeserved hate. He's happy, driven, in a relationship with someone he clearly loves and I think it's time to let him be. Take the high road. If you're not a fan, move along...

What you may not know is that Paulie, the person, is a multi business owner. One of those businesses is a gym in NJ that he co owns with his partner, Tom Kalieta. On Saturday, October 8th, at his Meet N Greet, I asked Paulie if he'd be interested in training someone in a wheelchair. On Tuesday, I traveled from Long Island "just" to have a work out session with him. I had to scramble at the last minute for a ride from NYC to NJ because one fell through and then by the time I went up to catch the train to NYC, I missed it by mere SECONDS and had to wait an hour for the next one. My friend Shay is a God send who drove from Philly to meet me in NYC and then drove to NJ where the gym is located and back to NYC after. I think we'd both tell you it was all worth it! I truly feel that I trained with the best!

I pride myself on my phrase "push past paralysis", but I have never worked out that hard in my life. Paulie's gym, Sweat, completely lives up to its name! He's the best there is and you can't help but feel the same determination and energy rub off on you (especially if that's already natural for you, like it is for me.) He encouraged and pushed me and I think I matched that energy pretty well, especially as a non athlete, since the gym is pro athlete based. I didn't want him to take it easy on me and my soreness tells me he really didn't. Everything hurts but in a way where you know that once your muscles stop crying, you'll feel amazing and have so much more physical strength and tone. My face even hurts because I can't stop smiling!

Paulie, thank you yet again for everything. I can't say it enough. Thank you is not enough. There are no words, blogs, or actions that could tell you how amazing I know you are. I don't know what I did to deserve you going so far above and beyond for me. I truly think that's just who you are as a person, but it made me feel extremely special to get this opportunity with you. I hope people in wheelchairs and even those who aren't will blow up your social media hoping to FLOCK to Sweat! On the train ride home, I told the conductor that Sweat "will literally kill you but it will be awesome!" Feel free to use that as a tag line.😂

It is so important to have some sort of fitness routine and healthy diet (although I don't like to use that word), especially if you're in a wheelchair. Obesity, circulation issues, pressure sores and so many other issues are so common for people with disabilities. Never use fatigue as an excuse because I always feel my endorphins kick in after a work out. So if you're tired, working out will actually help you! Plus, studies have shown that too much sitting can actually kill you. So don't be screwed and move around as much as you possibly can LOL! Here is a video I have been dreaming about making for a long time. This is a video of me working out with Paulie Calafiore. I hope that it inspires others with "disabilities" to go work out! Thank you to Shay for capturing all of this!

https://vimeo.com/187252873

Paulie's Snapchats from our work out
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B3865h9f8Ny2WkNCYV9wVmZxLW8/view

Lastly, to the haters that I've already seen leave comments on Paulie's posts about his session with me. No, he didn't pay me to work out with him and this isn't a publicity stunt. In fact, when I told him how I wanted his gym to take off even further, he humbly said that's not why he was doing it. I know it isn't, but that makes me want to see it take off even further. It's about people coming together to spread positivity and education on fitness. Haters, if you'd take your head out of your ass long enough, you'd realize that Big Brother is a game, Paulie played a great and aggressive one, and yet he's still an absolutely amazing human being in the real world who wants to do great things and inspire others to do the same. I was happy to be along side him for this. That's all there is to it. Your favorites are only telling their side of the story, remember that!

To follow Paulie on social media (if you're a hater, stop reading now):


Twitter: www.twitter.com/PaulieC116

Instagram: pr.calafiore

Snapchat & Periscope: PaulieC116


To follow Tom on social media:

Instagram, Twitter & Snapchat: TKSweat

LIKE Sweat Gym on Facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/sweatfreehold/

To follow me on social media:


www.facebook.com/pushpastparalysis

www.twitter.com/MarissaMeleske

Instagram: pushpastparalysis

Why Do You Care? Nothing But Love for Zaulie Part 2

Why are people so nosey and ballsy nowadays? It seems like the second we got access to a computer separating us, people have grown a set of balls and lady balls but not in a good way. And it has only gotten worse with all of the other wireless devices and social media websites that have come out following the computer.

So my question is, why? Why do you care so much about what other people are doing with their lives? Why does it affect you so much? Or, should I say, why do you allow it to affect you so much, when it shouldn't? Why give your two cents, as if what you say is going to change anyone's mind? It is nobodies business but the person living their life and making their own decisions, paying their own bills and wiping their own ass.

I've tried not to speak on this much, because it is not my relationship. I try to stay out of relationships I know nothing or little about, regardless of if I love the people in it. I only wish the people disrespecting relationships that are not their own would do the same thing. But there comes a point when you get tired of seeing people you care about hurting.

I met Paulie Calafiore and Zakiyah Everette from Big Brother 18 on Saturday. I've been protective before because of hate Paulie was getting, but now that I met them and saw them together in person, my protectiveness is through the roof. Since the start of the season, they were developing feelings for each other and the show was downplaying it. Needless to say, people who didn't watch the live feeds were very confused when the show ended and the 2 confirmed that they are in a romantic relationship. Oh and I guess I should mention that they're an interracial couple. But that doesn't matter to me, it's not even a thought that runs through my brain but it seems to be a factor in why they receive the hate that they do. I don't understand why it matters so much to others and elicited such outrage. Love is love.

Paulie and Zakiyah are coming off of a pressure cooker of a season of Big Brother 18, a show which is based on lies, manipulation and deceit. They had to weed through what was game and what wasn't, they had to set the record straight to people actually in their lives and also have to deal with living states apart at the moment. They should NOT have to deal with ignorant people on top of that, with unfulfilling lives who get off on throwing hate at others, just because they hate themselves and their own lives.

You don't have to like Paulie, Zakiyah or Zaulie. But give me a break and grow up. Follow people you like and IGNORE and BLOCK those whom you don't like. This is basic, hooked on phonic knowledge of the internet. I've been saying this ALL season and summer long and it's been over for weeks already! Trying to tear people down in hopes that they fail, just so you can say I told you so, is a very sad way to live.

Lucky for Zaulie, Paulie and Zakiyah are 2 individuals who strive for the best in life and also found just that in each other. They don't give up when the odds are stacked against them, when others try to tell them what they should and shouldn't do, and they have the most powerful weapon of all: love. Those 2 beautiful people love each other and we need to let them live and love in the best ways for THEM, which we don't know. We can't claim to know, we can't impose our opinions, beliefs, hopes or anything else in a good or bad way. The love has to be just as overwhelming as the hate sometimes. Just sit back, let them BE
and appreciate what is shared or scroll past it. Love always wins. 💖

Paulie Calafiore's Welcome Home Party at iPlay America

I'm never at a loss for words. I wasn't even at a loss for words last night. But here I am, 12 hours after getting home and I still haven't posted about my experience. Something's aren't meant to be explained, but instead felt with the heart. But it has always been my privilege to share my thoughts on what an amazing person Paulie Calafiore is, what kind of a fan would I be if I didn't speak out now that I know, from personal experience, that what I always thought IS actually a fact? I'm always right, never doubted, never wavered...yes I'm bragging LOL.

It is very rare that you meet people you've never met before but feel like you've known your whole life. Last night, I had that experience with so many people at Paulie's homecoming bash at iPlay America in Freehold, NJ. I got a chance to meet him, his incredible family, girlfriend and friends, plus some amazing people I've connected with on Instagram and Twitter. There are truly no words to describe my gratitude and love for the Calafiore family and to my friends for making sure we got there and met each other. I normally am much better with words but I truly am still speechless so I will simply say thank you and I love you all. It was well worth the money and travel! Now when's the next Paulie C party?! Team Paulie has a laser tag reputation to redeem. That shit was rigged just like...no nevermind, won't go there 😉

In an effort to actually make some sense today and give you guys something; Paulie is the most amazing person from the most amazing family. Yes, we did discuss my blogs and he's read every one of them. He also loved the book of letters everyone sent in! He's gracious, sweet, funny and just as talkative as I am (Scorpio type thing...)

Here is some footage from last night! They say a picture (and video) is worth 1,000 words so you'll have to deal with my lack of eloquence just this once and enjoy the footage!

I witnessed the end of Bruno Mars' career cuz Paulie Calafiore is about to put his ass out of a job! He's so multi talented, it's not even funny. So proud to support him!

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxEHBg8rrOc

Me & the man of the night! I don't know how it's possible, but I'm an even bigger fan now. There aren't enough words! He far exceeded any expectations I had and they were high! He went above and beyond and saying I'm eternally grateful is an understatement #TeamPaulie

Me & Cody! He's so sweet!

Me & Paulie's mom, Linda (I'm not even sure she's human. She is an absolute angel!!!)

The most badass with a heart of gold man there is! Paulie's dad, Paul...known by his own fan base as Papa C!

Me & Paulie's beautiful, sweet sister Angelina

Paulie's incredible, spunky, inspiring & beautiful aunt Caren 💖
Please keep her in your thoughts & prayers, sending her love every day!

Me & Zakiyah, she is just as beautiful inside as she is outside!

Me & Frankie Grande...not kidding about that laser tag rematch. Rigged AF 😂

I also had security cracking up because I told them if anyone started with Paulie, let me take care of it LMAO. Ride or die, I take it seriously! Might have had my friends ready to say they didn't know me....

If you want more pics, add me on IG @ PushPastParalysis and on FB.

Keri's periscope of a clip of me & Paulie https://www.periscope.tv/w/atGWtDFvTlFsWHFQTHZRd1J8MU95S0FPTWRBYmdKYg564PBkfgzRiyivhnxIVvroDeY6YJ3HTRWhnSmh8n17

Thank you for the millionth time (today) to Paulie & the Calafiore family. I love you all 💖

"You Can't" Is Just A Dare!

I'm never one to turn down a good dare. Fortunately, and that's just how I choose to look at it, I've been doubted and dared to prove people wrong since before I was born. When you're diagnosed with a physical challenge, doctors tend to give little to no hope for you to lead a "normal" life. That's just how they operate, I guess LOL. Sorry, I'm laughing at my own jokes today because I was up really late and I'm a little delirious. Nah, I'm half lying. I laugh at my own jokes all the time.

We all have to take control of our own lives and our own destiny. Don't put the keys to your life in someone else's car. Don't be defined by what anyone, even well meaning people, have to say about you or what other people see for your future. It's your life and what you think and want  is the only thing that matters. You get to decide which dreams you want to chase and opportunities you want to take.

Never let anyone tell you that it can't be done, that you can't do it. Whatever that "it" is, is subjective to you and your life, your hopes, your dreams. Do what I do, take it as a dare and make SURE you do it. I love proving people wrong, but only in regards to things I actually want to do anyway. I would never waste my time trying to prove myself to people who don't matter, just to shut them up. I do what I do because I want to.

People will only tell you that you can't do something based on their own fears, their own insecurities and their own lives. Just because they can't (or won't) do it, doesn't mean that you shouldn't or that you can't. I also feel like sometimes, especially if you have a disability, many people will have well meaning fears that cross over to coddling. You have to remember that you're your own person, regardless of any help you may need day to day. If you want something, go for it.

"There's always gonna be people that try & drag you down. There's always gonna be people that are trying to strip you of who you actually are but if you wanna be successful and you wanna lead a beautiful life, you will be successful and you will lead a beautiful life. There's nothing that can stop someone from getting where they wanna be and if you believe in yourself that's never ever ever ever gonna happen because you will always achieve whatever you set out to do. Impossible is nothing. That's only a word that people make up to scare people who are not willing to try to actually go for the gold. And that's it." - Paulie Calafiore

(The above quote is verbatim, I messed it up a little in the pic quote type thing I made.)

What Is The Goal of Hating?

The title of this blog is not a rhetorical question. I'm really looking for an answer. This is a question I've pondered a lot over time and a lot during the summer while Big Brother 18 was on. I'm very passionate about my music and my TV shows, and I normally end up following certain people's careers (and lives, thanks to social media) afterward. Which means I've seen them deal with the haters and have my share of hate thrown at me as well.

Honestly, the hate doesn't bother me. I just can't figure out the point of it though. Do people actually think by wasting their time and energy, going out of their way to harass strangers just for being passionate fans of someone or something, that we're magically going to change our minds? Yeah, a stranger TOTALLY has that much power over my life (dripping with sarcasm, can you hear it?) Block parties have been frequent this summer for sure!

It bothers me when the people I support get the brunt of the hate. They don't deserve it. None of us know these people. Why judge anyone so harshly based on ONE aspect you see of them? Why not save your judgements and go out of your way to find the good, or go meet this person to see for yourself? Or, how about just go support someone else altogether? I promise, the ones you don't like won't miss you. Don't follow them.

This is especially true under the intense microscopic pressure cooker of being in the Big Brother house. Paulie Calafiore is STILL getting hate and the game is over! Thank God he doesn't live for anything the haters or even fans say; he's damned if he does and damned if he doesn't. He played a great game and seems like a great person; both can simultaneously be possible. As for the hate and shade from other houseguests, it just goes to show that they aren't doing anything worthwhile in their own lives. If they were, why be so concerned with what Paulie is doing? It has come as no surprise to me that he has shown the most class since leaving the house (as well as Zakiyah) yet has received, by far, the most hate during the season and now after. He and his family have truly taken the high road, embracing the love and blocking the hate and it has been a joy to connect with them on social media. They set an excellent example for the fans on what to do when we get hate!

It makes me give major side eye when people jump on the #TeamPaulie bandwagon JUST because he's doing what they want him to do. Newsflash, he's not doing it for you. He's just living his life, doing what he wants and surrounding himself with the people he wants in his life. If you would have separated game from real life in the first place, it would have saved you the headaches all summer. So many people who talked crap about him all season long suddenly love him. I suspect part of that is also just to be noticed by him now and they won't hesitate to start hating again the second he does something they disagree with. I wrote a blog during the season in response to the haters who felt slighted and would be pissed at Paulie until he "apologized and fixed it" (yes, they mean apologize to THEM LOL), essentially doing what they wanted. I have news for you, Paulie is just a human being out of game mode and doing what HE wants, regardless of it now falling under being okay by haters.

I also wrote a blog during the Big Brother season about why I refuse to hate Paulie, let alone anyone else and a blog in response to haters feeling entitled. You can read both blogs here:

http://marissameleske.blogspot.com/2016/08/what-does-someone-paulie-calafiore-have.html

http://marissameleske.blogspot.com/2016/08/paulie-doesnt-owe-you-anything.html?m=1

So I'm going to get off of my soap box now and go back to showing love and support, as well as my own full life. Oh! There are 9 days until I meet Paulie. I will definitely be writing a blog after that, so keep checking back!