Don't Give Up On Paulie Calafiore! (Zaulie Fans Unite)

*NOTE SUPER SAFETY IS NO LONGER IN PLAY. VOTE FOR THE NEXT PACKAGE*

Please know I'm writing this as a Zaulie fan. I'm one of the biggest. I think they're so sweet and I want a guy to look at me the way Paulie looks at Zakiyah. But fans have GOT to get a damn grip and THINK! We have to be strategic.

This is the only reason why I hate the Zaulie showmance thing. He's NOT gonna give up just because she's gone and go to jury just to be with her. Paulie shocks many of you and I tend to know what he's gonna do before he does it (Scorpio "type thing") but quitting isn't one of those things! He came onto this show to win before he knew he was gonna meet Zakiyah. He knows he's gonna see her again but he misses her right now and trusted that her eviction wouldn't even happen. I feel like after making it abundantly clear how he feels about her by being so heartbroken, we should unite and give him Super Safety, send him love and send a message to the house! I feel Zakiyah is rooting for him and what better way to support her?! I wish people in general would stop saying "oh, Z is being abused mentally, get her out of there!" and now "Paulie is heartbroken get him out!" Fuck that! He misses her, yes, but he also knew damn well to still be playing the game when she left too. If not, the conversations wouldn't have happened to make the houseguests think he believed she was actually playing him, which he told Nicole he doesn't. It's all been strategy, we ALL know that now. 

He will wake up today with a plan. His back is against the wall and he knows it. He's about to be up against one of his only 2 allies and votes that would be for him to stay. This is bad and he NEEDS the super safety but also for us to be behind him and positive. Best case scenario is he isn't backdoored and is put up upfront and wins veto, or that he has round trip or that he's saved by jury buy back but in the meantime, we can vote our hearts out to get him Super Safety. If we do, then Zakiyah can win Jury Buy Back and they will both be back in the house and can Mr. & Mrs. Smith those people! I truly hope the Zaulie fans see now that he does care about, and I'd say he even loves, Zakiyah. But I'm sorry, as a Big Brother fan from the get go, I'm not going to just be like "oh, spare his heart from these people, let him leave!" Um, he's proven he can play more aggressively than them! This just happens to be and feel personal right now so he needs time to digest it but you have to know his mind is always working. He's an athlete with an athlete mentality who lost an HOH last night too. He came to bring home that money!

I trust Paulie. Call me an idiot because everyone in that house has left with his hand pressing the button (even Zakiyah by suggestion) but I'd rather be for him than against him. I tend to see his moves before or as he makes them. I knew what he was doing yesterday by pretending to believe Zakiyah used him and EVERYONE thought I was crazy. 5 minutes later, he tells Nicole he doesn't believe it but was making them think he did. Again, it's a Scorpio "type thing" and a NY/NJ "type thing" to borrow a quote from him LOL. So please trust him and remember he came to win $500k!

To help Paulie achieve Super Safety, vote TODAY: http://www.cbs.com/shows/big_brother/americas-care-package/

What Whitney Houston Taught Me

With today being the birthday of the Queen of the Night, I thought I'd write a blog. I grew up on Whitney Houston's music. I remember being in the downstairs of my house and singing her songs on karaoke. I'm definitely an old soul, I love all of the music from my parents' and grandparents' generations!

One of my favorite Whitney Houston songs has always been "Greatest Love of All." It's not only an amazing song but it also has a great message. It's about self love, being your own hero and a parent teaching their child about just that. It's definitely something I'm thankful I learned in my childhood.

Whitney Houston's life also taught me that we often do put ourselves last and teach others what we need to be learning. She has helped so many people find the self love that she never found herself. We have so much to give ourselves and if we did, we'd have more to give to the world.

What Does Someone (Paulie Calafiore) Have To Do For Me To Hate Them (Him)?

I was just asked a very interesting and thought provoking question yesterday about Paulie Calafiore, my favorite houseguest on "Big Brother", and I wanted to answer it in a blog. It's a great question about Paulie and about life in general.

The question I was asked was; "What does he have to do for you to hate him?!" Okay, so he's been pretty aggressive in his game play! I can't blame him. I would probably throw my own family members under the bus a time or two if we were in the Big Brother house, have their back the next minute and then, once one of us wins the money, make up and split our prize! So, chances are, I'd have less trouble doing the same to someone I just met.

"Big Brother" is a game, it's a reality show. People watch and people join all for different reasons. Some people want 15 minutes of fame, some people want a showmance, some people want the jury check and others want the grand prize of $500,000 to change their lives. Everyone also has different ways of playing the game; some are great physical competitors, others are social butterflies, some are cerebral, others are great liars and get inside people's heads and under their skin. It's hard not to get mentally and emotionally invested in your favorite houseguests and pull for them as a fan. It's on 3 nights a week, you can also follow it on live feeds 24/7 and there is always social media now. Speaking for myself, it takes over my life every summer!

The type of player I prefer is one who is either feared and hated or one who is looked at as the leader. A cute showmance always pulls at my heart strings too...okay not ALWAYS but I won't mention the ones I couldn't stomach. But I don't really like floaters, they're so boring to me! I need someone to actively be playing the game for me to root for them.

If you've been reading my blog for at least the last few weeks, you know my favorite houseguest this season is Paulie Calafiore. Short of shooting someone or being mean directly to me, there's nothing he can do that would make me dislike him, let alone hate him. And, as I joked to the fan who asked me that question, even if he did shoot someone, it would depend on who it was and then I'd react. I mean, it could be a houseguest I don't like...JUST KIDDING! But really, he's playing an amazing game. He has the whole house under his spell and has had a hand in what happens pretty much every week. The week he was a Have Not, the entire house met up in the HN room! That has never happened, to my knowledge, on the show! He also has a showmance (which I think is more real than that because they try to downplay it and aren't doing anything for attention.) I feel like he's separating game with feelings and I can't blame him. It's the cause of a lot of hate he's getting from fans and haters, but I'm behind him on it! I think he seems like a real, genuine guy and I look forward to finding that out one day in person hopefully. I go into more of the game Paulie vs. real Paulie in my other blog: http://marissameleske.blogspot.com/2016/07/reality-tv-vs-real-life-big-brother.html?m=1

I'm not a hateful person and I believe there is good in everyone. There is a reason why people do or say the things they say and do. Even if anything Paulie did on the show was the real him, I'm an empath and would want to know what happened to make him feel that way. For example, I do think that maybe his past relationships are what cause him to believe that his current showmance isn't genuine at times. Then again, him saying that could also be part of his game because everyone lies, him included! My point is, we're all human, all have pasts and all have reasons for being the way we are. I don't truly hate anyone and I've had some bad shit directed at me from other people and neither of us were fighting for $500,000. For those who hate ANYONE on a television show, please wait until it's over and then draw your own conclusion based on things outside of it. I've heard a lot of shit about a lot of people whom I later met and ended up loving. It's not worth it to judge before you see for yourself!

My Issue with the Show "Born This Way"

I've been a fan of the show "Born This Way", a show about people with Down Syndrome, since the first time I saw the previews before it premiered. It's in its second season now and I'm forming more and more opinions. I try to give the benefit of the doubt, but when things hit so close to home I just can't help but express how I feel.

In this week's episode, 2 of the mothers went way overboard in my opinion. One of the girls on the show, Megan, and her mom have been going back and forth since the shows' premiere about whether or not she was going to move away from home. I understand the mom has fears, but it's been my experience that there is a very thin line between being protective versus treating your adult child like a little kid, especially when there is a disability involved. I honestly feel that this is the very reason Megan wants to move out on her own in the first place. An overprotective parent can make you feel so suffocated, especially when the reason for being overprotective is very obviously a disability. It doesn't feel very good at all!

There is also a boy on the show, Sean, whose friend Steve and his girlfriend took him to Las Vegas. Again, I do understand a parents' point of view of being overprotective, especially when it's Las Vegas and the boy has an interest in sex. But the things this mother was worried about were nothing of the sort. She was picking out his clothes and telling his brother play by play of what she wanted him to do to take care of him. Thankfully, the brother seems to give him a little more breathing room than to follow the directions to a T. He seemed more than capable of doing so many of the things his mom was being overprotective about.

It's not all bad. I really appreciate the family of John, another person on the show with Down Syndrome. His sisters are so on board to take him in if, God forbid, anything were to happen to the parents. However, this family also lets him have his freedom, be himself, have responsibilities and follow his dreams! He's an aspiring rapper and his parents put up the money to help him make an album, with the understanding that within the year she will be paid back. There's never any fear when it comes to this family as far as letting John be John and do his thing. Even if they know there will be fall out, they're there loving and supporting him through it.

Look, I get being overprotective when your child has a "disability." Most parents are. Mine have always been pretty lenient, but my mom will still get nervous when I travel alone and I'm 29 years old (that also has a lot to do with what's going on in the world though too.) My problem is when the parents go over the top, like some of the parents do on this show and will completely override what their kid wants. It gets to a point where your child is going to feel like you don't believe in them or want them to live their life. How do you think it would make them feel if you, the person who has always been there for them, doesn't believe in them? I'll tell you how it would feel, like crap!

I'm not trying to judge. I'm trying to help and be a voice for those who are silenced. When it comes down to it, parents need to do their best and trust in that when it's time to let their child go into the world but you absolutely cannot baby them forever. Don't make yourself yet another obstacle standing in their way.

Reality TV & Social Media: Too Close for Comfort (BB edition)

In this day and age, with social media, the lines are completely blurred between celebrity and fan. We can connect ourselves with the click of a button and some will convince themselves that because so and so has a Twitter and they follow you, favorite what you say, tweet you back etc, that means they're your best friend. Some also believe that because so and so has a Twitter, you can and should tell them exactly how you feel about everything they do, even personally. Neither is the case.

It's the worst for reality stars, I think. I can understand being invested in a show and the characters on it but reality tv deals with real people. Take "Big Brother" for example. It's not just a show that comes on 3 nights a week for an hour. You can sign up and literally follow the houseguests everywhere but to the toilet via the live feeds (yes, even the shower.) It's always been that way and that had to be hard enough. Now add social media to it and everyone has an opinion on everything going on in the house and will not hesitate to share it, usually in a less than tactful way, with everyone including the houseguests' accounts and their families.

This is America and we are all entitled to our opinion and to have our First Amendment right of Freedom of Speech. However, meddling into other people's business and telling them what you think they should do is ridiculous, whether you're trying to save one from a mistake or vilify another. It's crossing a line big time.

I already see it with Big Brother Houseguests Paulie Calafiore and Zakiyah Everette. The two like each other and every time they fight or something goes awry between them, people are tweeting Zakiyah's family about how horrible they feel for her and saying how she needs to basically be saved. On the other side of the coin, you have people creating what was a viral hashtag of #WeHatePaulieCalafiore and tweeting his family about how they and he should be ashamed and what a horrible person they think he is. These same fans/haters are prepared to send both houseguests and their families clips from the live feeds of the show to justify their perspectives and opinions. I even got a tweet today, even though I'm just a fan, asking me if my brain was also paralyzed (I have Spina Bifida, so I'm paralyzed below the knee) because I support Paulie. Like, really? I'm not the one whose brain needs to be examined. I support both of them together and individually and that's just all there is to it.

When you're locked in a house all summer playing a game that's basically one big mind fuck for $500,000, that can be overwhelming in and of itself. Then to come out and have support flooded your way can be even more overwhelming. But to have hate and deep opinions on what you should do with your life coming at you non stop? That's way over the top, crossing the line ridiculous and people should really back off and not have an end goal of someone shutting down their account because of you. It's NOT anyone's place to do that. Shit like that is what drives celebrities to drink, literally.

We know the actual families and friends of the Big Brother houseguests are watching the live feeds. If they want to take things up with them and bring certain things to their attention after the show, fine. If not and they'd like to move on, that's fine too. But it's not the place of Joe Schmo or Jane Doe, someone who the houseguests wouldn't know if you paid them to identify the person, to do that. Stay in your lane!

Where Is Paulie Calafiore's Head?

Okay, I've really done it this time. I climbed into the rabbit hole and can't find my way out! I'm trying to get inside Big Brother houseguest Paulie Calafiore's head and figure out just what he's up to. Someone come find me after the finale if I can't get out!

I don't, for one second, believe Paulie is a bad person. I wrote a separate blog on that which can be read here: http://marissameleske.blogspot.com/2016/07/reality-tv-vs-real-life-big-brother.html?m=1 I think he's very cerebral and a great Big Brother player. He's a Scorpio! I also think that he got more than he bargained for with a showmance...or actually a romance that he's trying to downplay because he really cares about the girl (Zakiyah.) Don't look at me like that, I do believe he cares. 

So here's the deal. Either he and Zakiyah are part of some twist that's messing with ALL of us and they both deserve Oscars (or maybe not, because I'm figuring them out of this is accurate) or he's trying to draw a wedge between them so the house doesn't think they're as close as they are. They both agreed to do this weeks ago, but maybe they're so good at it that we don't even realize what's going on anymore. Maybe he's going about it wrong in some of the things he says, but like I said he's not perfect and maybe she's in on it and playing her part. I don't think she's this fragile woman some of her fans are believing she is. Do I think some fights are real? Sure. But I also think some of it is to keep them both around. There's a reason they always make up a lot faster than most would in the real world after the fights they have and a reason he's so quick to change the target from the house wanting to put her on the block. 

If I'm right, last night they started to play both sides of the house because the house believes both don't trust each other anymore. Even after making up, they continue to try to make the house believe that they're just smoothing things over to not start trouble. Plus, come on, there has been NO TV footage of the fights they've had and NO diary room sessions from them about each other when we KNOW they were forced into talking about their fights? This show LIVES for drama and would show whatever they got, even if the houseguests try to keep it to a minimum. I think there's a reason they're not showing anything and it's not the interracial relationship card, like some fans want to believe.  

One thing I've learned is to pay attention to what Paulie says and, more importantly, who he says it to. I don't care if he's sucking up to someone, there are people (Nicole) that you know he's lying to! Once paying close attention started to give me a headache though, I just gave up and decided he's lying to everyone all week and we won't know his plans until someone is evicted. Welcome to reality TV! The man plays chess, did you expect anything different?

One thing I know to be true is that I can't take anything Paulie does or says at face value. He said just yesterday on the live feeds that he's aware that 97% of people must think he's crazy but that there's method to his madness. I have been part of the 3% and believed that from day one, but figuring out just WHAT that madness is, is a project. I deserve to be rewarded with meeting him if I'm right about any of this...just saying!

Reality TV, Character Judgments & Bachelor's Sloppy Seconds

It's funny because I just wrote a blog defending Paulie Calafiore from Big Brother because so many people think he's an asshole (see blog here: http://marissameleske.blogspot.com/2016/07/reality-tv-vs-real-life-big-brother.html). Tonight, I'm watching the Bachelorette finale and here I am judging the hell out of one of the last 2 guys standing cuz he seems egotistical, superficial and fake.

I'm a good judge of character and I try not to jump to conclusions. However, I do trust my instincts. If someone is putting on a facade, I'm the first to call it out. Paulie is playing a good game of Big Brother, the guys on the Bachelor need to be genuine and real and I don't think all of them are.

More importantly, why can't a girl be on the Bachelorette without having been on the Bachelor? I get that the Bachelor came first but not only would I not want to feel like sloppy seconds after being dumped, I also have no interest in going on the Bachelor and fighting 24 other women over a guy. I'm not catty and I wouldn't wanna feel like I'm fighting for someone's love and no doubt have to dodge a lot of drama along the way. If love is not given freely, just to me, why bother?

I'm not trying to sound egotistical or attention seeking, but I would probably do the Bachelorette as a newbie. Call me old school but I don't mind being chased and pursued. I wonder if the show is ever gonna change it up and allow a woman on who hasn't been on the Bachelor first?

Reality TV vs. Real Life: Big Brother & Paulie Calafiore

I've been a Big Brother fan since the show started pretty much. I got into it in middle or high school and I'm almost 30. I'd like to think I know how the show works, but things have changed a lot on the outside because of social media. 


Let's start with the Diary Room. I'm not going into explanations of what that is. This is for people who follow the show and will already understand what I mean when I say DR. Anyway, I have always felt that the DR had a ton of influence on the game. I mean, there's a reason that the second one of the Houseguests says something about the DR, the live feed gets cut. Fight club and we don't talk about fight club! The show is highly produced, many former houseguests have said it but the show will not give you proof. To me, the Diary Room is like the worst kind of friend, the instigator. You go in upset or pissed off and they feed you things to keep you emotional or fighting so that the show isn't boring and doesn't drop in ratings. $500k is a lot of money but people don't just start bickering for no reason. They have to be egged on somehow!

The show also casts people based on personality traits they know they can manipulate out of you. There's always a cryer, always an aggressive player and everything in between. Which is why I'm glad I enjoyed the show for so long without social media. It's a ruthless show and with social media now, people are so quick to defend someone they feel is in the right and vilify someone they feel is wrong. Defending someone is fine, but taking personal character assassinating jabs at the opposition when you don't know them is out of line. 

Which brings me to this season, season 18. There's a sibling twist and one of them is Paulie, brother of former houseguest Cody Calafiore who came in second during his season. That has to be pressure enough! He's also into sports, which also brings out his competitive nature. He seems like the type who came into the game well versed on it and well coached by his brother and others he met through his brothers' season. He's also a Scorpio, like me. We like things to go our way and we don't mess around to get what we want. When we explain things, we stay super calm but you can tell we're annoyed and seething and will eventually raise our voices. Add into the mix that he meets a girl he likes and also wants to protect as a part of his alliance. He's in the Big Brother house, he's GOING to lie to EVERYONE and feel intense pressure on himself and people need to realize that before throwing tantrums at him. He's doing the best he can under all different circumstances and he's human. 

Should he be trusting certain people? No. Should he be talking personal, even if he's lying, to certain people? No. People get hurt in the midst of it, but I truly feel like outside of the house, it would never be his intention to do that. But he won't find this out until after the show. These people are all he's got right now. If he called a real buddy from home or his brother about his personal feelings toward anyone, he'd get a completely different answer than venting to a house full of other people who are his competition and also have their eyes on $500k. He's also a guy and guys can be stupid LOL. But in all seriousness, I've seen so many different things said about him that I had to speak up. 

This world is so divided. People think nothing of throwing around words like asshole, abuser, manipulative, racist, sexist and so on and so forth. That, to me, completely undermines the people that those things actually happen to. You are not cut out for Big Brother, even watching it, if you're not ready for ruthless backstabbing, lying, cheating or if you can't figure out when something is real outside of game. We should have a broader, clearer perspective on that then those only concentrating on the game behind those 4 walls. Fans are so quick to grab their computers or phones and bitch about it, even to the families of these people on TV, and that's just not cool. Send them love or don't follow them at all!

And yes, I feel like I just channeled Paulie Calafiore with my life coach dissection of this show LMAO. I just felt he needed to be defended since I've seen nothing nice lately about him and wanted to give my perspective. His family is also being nice enough to chat with us on social media, don't be an asshole to them by taking personal jabs and talking shit about their son to them. You wanna hate his game? Fine. But you don't know him from Adam, neither do I. I think we should give him the benefit of the doubt. I'm sure he's a great person and I look forward to meeting him the next time he holds some kind of event in NY, hopefully after he brings home that $500k to NJ! 

Why I'm Voting for Donald Trump

I really wasn't sure that I was going to do this. They say to never discuss politics and religion. At this point, though, I think we have to. With the way the world is, SOMETHING has got to change! Plus, there are still many undecided voters out there and, while I'm not trying to impose my views on anyone, it may give you some information and insight you may not have had.

Let me start by saying this; I was never a fan of Donald Trump. I used to go to Atlantic City all the time with my parents and heard his name constantly as this rich guy who build zillions of buildings in NY and NJ. So I felt he was overrated and mentioned way too much in the media and news. I passed through the Trump Tahj Mahal a lot and it was beautiful, I must admit!

I WAS and still am a supporter of Herman Cain, another business man who ran for president 4 years ago. So when the rumors started rumbling that Donald Trump was going to announce his candidacy, I admit I got excited at the prospect of a non politician in the Oval Office. And then he announced and I've been on the Trump Train ever since. 

He truly is the voice of the American people. He says exactly what has been on my mind and what I've been saying for so long, and I know I'm not the only one. He's also been asked to attend meetings over the years within the government to offer his help and insight. Some people give him flack for "saying the same thing for 30 years", but maybe if we would have listened to him THEN, we wouldn't be in the positions we're in NOW. 

Some of the most important reasons I'm voting for Donald Trump are because he is the best negotiator running for office and he handles his business. I'm not at all worried about his bankruptcies. In business, we ALL have failures and his successes far outweigh any of the flops...which I can count on one hand. Plus, in the case of his hotel casinos in Atlantic City, they were ALL going down and he pulled out before everything fell apart there. That's what a smart business man does.

Another reason is that he's not Hillary Clinton. Yes, that's a valid reason to vote for him and I don't fault anyone for "picking the lesser of 2 evils." That's not me though, I think he's the best person to run in a long time. But if you're still undecided, ask yourself if you really want someone who has already screwed you over for the last 20 years like the Clinton's have in the economy and, most importantly to me, national security and outright lies.

The most personal reason that I'm voting for Donald Trump is because I'm NOT defined by my wheelchair. Yes, I was born with Spina Bifida and been in a wheelchair all of my life. Sure, he wants to save social security and Medicaid/Medicare from imploding, but even if he didn't I wouldn't care. I want jobs, a better economy and borders.

I also forgot to dispel some rumors in the video I made about this, which I will include below. Donald Trump is not racist or sexist! He wants to give opportunities for a better life for ALL of our LEGAL CITIZENS of this country. Period. 

#MAKEAMERICAGREATAGAIN 🇺🇸 

Why All Lives Matter - personal

I realize this topic is controversial, but please hear me out. In this blog I want to speak about myself, my life and my broad views on life. This will explain why I believe that ALL lives matter.

I was born with Spina Bifida. I use a wheelchair. I can count on one hand the amount of events I have been to for awareness for any of it. I don't view myself as different, so I'm not going to Ra Ra and beg to be seen as separate. Touting myself as someone in a wheelchair will ONLY show me as someone who is and always will be different. I don't choose to be seen in that light. We are ALL similar and ALL different.

I am, first and foremost, a healthy human being. My life matters just as much as yours, just as much a white man, a black woman, a blue duck, a purple cat and so on and so forth. I do not even view anyone who looks different to me as being a minority. We are all just people.

I realize that this view isn't the norm, it isn't popular and maybe that is what movements like Black Lives Matter is trying to combat against. I have a bit of advice from my experience though. Quit the violence at your events, including within your own race, and look at yourselves and your fellow man and woman as merely a human being. If we treated everyone equally and stop looking at color, that would spread quicker than anything we have tried before.

Appreciation Appreciates with Effort

Have you ever had someone tell you "money is energy"? Do you believe them? Or do you scoff and think "yeah right"? I've been on both ends of the spectrum, but I've only recently realized how true that statement really is. I believe that money IS energy, which means that money is also NOT the root of all evil if it is merely energy. The emotion behind it perpetuates the evil or downward spiral. 


You will never find your bank account increasing if your gratitude is decreasing. You will never find your bank account increasing if you have a block to receiving. Something Sunny Dawn Johnston said once really stuck with me. She said she really doesn't use the word "grateful", but instead says "appreciate" because of the bank account analogy. Money "appreciates" and you build interest. 

If you are negative in your mindset, you'll be negative in your bank account. If you're positive, vibrating high and pay off debts, your credit goes up. This is just simply the law of attraction at work. No one ever got everything good in the world if they were an ungrateful, whiny, selfish person.

I realized recently that all of the negative emotions that sometimes come with money are just a symptom of a bigger problem and a deeper emotion about a deeper issue. For instance, someone who feels appreciated in other ways wouldn't be as quick to be resentful toward someone whom needs their help for financial reasons. However, if the person is not only relied on for finances but also relied on and neglected in return emotionally, physically, mentally etc., the resentment will be even more amplified. 

There is also another saying that goes "people who feel appreciated will always do more than what is expected." Especially if you are an empath, you will often get leeches and energy vampires, sucking all of the mental, emotional, financial and other energies from you. This is why you need to practice self love and protect yourself from this, way before you say yes to the next person who needs your help.

Just like the airplane analogy says, you need to put your oxygen mask on and THEN help those around you. If you're gone or empty, you cannot be expected to give anything you don't even have yourself. You need to love and appreciate YOURSELF (by setting boundaries with others and practicing self love) before you can appreciate others and before they can appreciate you. If you feel like you're taking care of everyone else and getting nothing mentally, emotionally, physically or energetically back, you're not appreciating your own energy, boundaries, time, love, money etc. You're going to be numb and depleted and not have or want to give. But if you feel loved and appreciated for just being YOU, by yourself AND those you give to, you will feel that and WANT and be ABLE to give more.

If you ARE going through a hard time emotionally, appreciate it. Yes, appreciate it. Appreciate and look for what it's teaching you. It's a valuable and important lesson that you're missing in your wallowing. If you can't appreciate the lesson yet, at least shift your focus. Appreciate what's going right and more good will come from and appreciate from that feeling.

If you don't get your emotional, mental, physical, spiritual and energetic needs all met, you will be unbalanced, depleted and find yourself feeling negatively toward those around you whom you give all or at least most of the aforementioned things to. None of us have everything. Relationships are meant to fill those empty spaces so we can all work together. But if you find that you are feeling depleted in any of those areas, you need to look at how open you are to receive and then how willing others are to have a balance in the relationship. Adjust accordingly.

All Lives Matter

I have wanted to speak up about this, but wanted it to be well thought out. I don't even know what to say, but I'm going to try. I owe it to the police of this great country. Honestly, it's sick to me that the very people protesting against the police were then running to them for their lives. The irony!

I feel this was orchestrated by Obama and/or his administration. for his gun control argument to try and help get the heat off of Hillary. It's awfully funny he was in Poland saying all lives matter and cops lives matter on the same day this all happened. I smelled a rat as soon as he said it. He's never said that before and I don't think it can be a coincidence that this happened the same night.

And please do spare me the gun control talk. Let me ask you this, if some psycho is across the room from you with a gun, would you run toward him to stab him or try but miss hitting him with something you throw or just temporarily knocking him out? No, you'd wish you or someone in the house had a gun! Look, I don't trust myself with a gun. I'd be too nervous. But I support every American's second amendment right to bare arms. Well, mostly. I do agree we need background checks and psychological testing. It takes a strong person to know whether or not they're comfortable operating a fire arm but I'll be damned if I stop my fellow citizens from having one to protect me if need be.

What I don't understand is all black lives are supposed to matter, right? And there are peaceful Muslims, right? But all cops have been shit on before this and some still are! We aren't supposed to talk about terrorism or racism when a black or Muslim is killed, so PLEASE spare me about bad cops right now! 

I feel like having separate "support" groups is still pointing out differences and we will never unite as people if we go that route. All lives matter. Everyone is similar inside. How are we supposed to unite when we have all these support groups which divide us and make one feel inferior over another? But in the interest of a sarcastic bandwagon...Blue Lives Matter too. Wendy Williams had what may think was a surprising reaction about this issue. Here is what she said: http://freedomdaily.com/black-tv-host-ignites-firestorm-epic-race-rant-blacks-organizations-racist/

My thoughts and prayers go out to every officer and life lost, as well as to the survivors and every family or friend touched by this tragedy. I will be in NYC again tomorrow and plan to hug any officer I see 💙 #BlueLivesMatter

Why People Hate Being Preached To

Are you the type of person that wants to save the world? So many people, like myself, have a Superman or Superwoman complex. We just want everyone, especially those we love, to be happy. Often times, it falls on deaf ears and here's why...

The people in a rut see where we are and get bitter. Having someone happy and healthy tell you what you're doing wrong and how to fix it just doesn't compute because of the emotions the person currently going through it is feeling. They KNOW we are speaking logic and even trying to help but they are jealous of where we are and how easy we make it look that there is a large amount of resistance to them changing their own behavior and lives at all.

Which brings me to the next reason people hate being preached to. They think it can't be that easy. When you are that deep in an emotional and mental rut, getting out can be extremely overwhelming and seem completely impossible. Well meaning people who have been through it often oversimplify it because we take our emotions out of it and can clearly look at the steps it took us to get out of our own ruts. Because, yes, we HAVE all been there. No one is immune to hard times. It's a part of life and what matters is how we rise after falling on hard times.

The final, and most frustrating, reason people hate being preached to is because they want to stew in their negativity. There is really nothing we can ever do. They are unconsciously choosing to stay in their shit and that completely blocks them from listening to anything we have to say to try and help. All we will receive back is fights, anger and lasting out.

So what do we "preachers" do? It sucks to see people we love going through turmoil. However, it's equally frustrating to have them complain and reach out for help and then transfer their anger to us, the very people they turned to for love and help and who are definitely trying to help. The best thing we can do sometimes is walk away. If someone is unwilling to change, it will just bring us down with them and I, for one, do not recommend that. Change comes by influence, not force. Maybe, just maybe, by you living your own life to the fullest, they will see what can happen in their own life.